Girl With The Golden Hair
by Calla Mae
Summary: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair." The irony of those words considering her hair had been cut with a crude knife in a dark forest by a boy no older than herself. How did Rapunzel find her way to Neverland? How did she find her way out? But more importantly, what happened while she was there to make her so wary of returning? OC
1. Look for the girl with the broken smile

"Good Morning, Mary Margaret," a blond young woman said as she passed by Mary Margaret and Emma Swan.

"Morning Cami," she called back cheerfully as she always did when Cami walked past her to get to the high school.

Emma watched the girl as she walked, her eyes narrowed, before turning to Mary Margaret. "Who is she, I've seen her with Regina before?" If there was one thing Emma knew she was good at it was reading people; and from the few times Emma had seen her, there something hiding behind the girl's smile – it didn't help that every time she'd seen Cami it had always been with Regina.

"Regina gave her a job at the Town Hall, a low paying internship," Mary Margaret answered before saying hello to kids and their parents as they came to the school. "Cami lives in the girl's home, has as long as I can remember. You'd like her, I think," Mary Margaret said with a smile, knowing Emma had been in the system without a family too.

Emma nodded, a disbelieving look on her face. "I'm sure." There was a look on Cami's face when she saw Emma, mistrustful and searching – a look that strangely reminded Emma of the way Regina looked at her. She looked at Mary Margaret to see her staring back at her curiously. "So," Emma said uncomfortably, trying to change the conversation, "who does Henry think she is?"

Mary Margaret smiled shaking her head at Henry and his imagination. "He thinks she's Rapunzel."

"What?" Emma asked with a laugh.

"I know," Mary Margaret said laughing along with her. "He said it'd be too obvious if her hair was long."

"Of course he did," Emma said running a hand over her face.

…

Emma stood at the end of the walkway waiting for Henry to come out so she could walk him to school, seeing Regina's angry eyes staring at her from the window. "Morning Cami," Emma greeted half-heartedly when the blonde teen walked past her.

Cami turned and stared at her with bright blue unhappy eyes. "Emma," she greeted coolly before continuing her way to the Mills' mansion. "Hey Henry," Cami said pleasantly when he burst out of the door, a smile on her pretty face.

"Hey Cami, gotta go," he said excitedly as he made his way to Emma.

Her smile faltered as she saw how easily Henry brushed past her, before he would have hugged her and asked her if she was coming over later, before he would have asked her to walk him to school; before Emma came. "Good morning Ms. Mills," Cami said softly, almost meekly, as she made her way up the steps.

Regina's eyes were on Henry, smiling and talking happily with Emma Swan. She barely paid Cami any mind. "Good morning," she sighed, her eyes sad, before she walked back into her house. Leaving Cami to follow after wishing Regina could see how much Cami loved her, that Regina was the closest thing to family she ever had. But Regina had already turned from her and made her way to her office to show Cami what she wanted her to do after school. Even after years, with Cami being the only person to every fully love Regina; Regina never knew.

...

_Regina stared up at the tower, crumbling with age, vines stretching up its length to reach for the sun. The Huntsman had stumbled across this place, hidden in the trees, claiming to have seen a figure by the window. She didn't know if there was anyone up there or if they were armed, but she was readied for an attack. "Is there anyone home?" she called, her body tense, the tips of her fingers buzzing with the magic ready to spill from them. _

_Several long moments she waited, almost believing the whole thing had been a farce, before a small figure moved to the window. "Who are you?" a girl's voice called down. _

_Regina strained to see the face darkened in shadow. "Regina, and I am your queen," she answered, her voice a sharp edge. She watched as the girl leaned forward to better see her, finally catching sight of her youthful face. _

_"__Are you really a queen?" she asked, her voice filled with wonder. _

_"__Yes," Regina answered smiling, trying for kindness. _

_The girl stared down at her for a few moments quietly, looking around to see if there was anyone else. "I'll see if I have a rope," she said before turning toward her room. She covered her mouth with her hands as she gasped, the queen now standing in front of her. _

_"__No need," Regina said, pleased to see the awe on the girl's face instead of fear. "Now, what is your name?" _

_"__Rapunzel," she answered quietly, not sure if she was supposed to give any other greeting - she'd never met a queen before. _

_Regina noticed she didn't curtsey or say your majesty, and she stared at Rapunzel curiously. "How long have you lived here?" _

_She was quiet a moment before she answered. "All my life I suppose," she said. _

_Regina watched all former mirth leave the girl's face and as sorrow filled her features. "Do you get many visitors?" she asked though she thought she already knew the answer. _

_Rapunzel shrugged, trying to laugh it off but it sounded bitter and full of a lonely sadness. "You are the first person I've spoken to in," she paused as she tried to think of how long it had been, "I don't remember when." Rapunzel watched as the queen nodded and looked around at the small room, Rapunzel didn't have very much; a bed, a cabinet filled with dresses and an unlimited supply of cloth to make more, a chair, a table. And that was it, there was little more. "Do you live in a castle?" she asked Regina softly._

_She watched__ as Rapunzel fiddled with her fingers almost shyly, and she smiled in spite of herself. "Yes, and it's very big," she said watching amazement light in the girl's bright blue eyes. _

"_Are there many windows?" she asked imaging the views that could be seen. _

"_Hundreds," Regina answered, watching a smile spread across Rapunzel's face. She was no older than sixteen, but her eyes were old and sad. She looked too young to have hopelessness as a burden, to have such loneliness. Or maybe it was Regina who was lonely. "You know, it's quite empty," Regina said softly, almost timidly – as though many times before she had given an offer of staying with her and having been refused. _

_Rapunzel looked at the queen with wide, uncertain eyes – as though once before she had found a home only to have lost it. And so queen and girl were left staring at each other as they both hoped for what they did not have the courage to say. "Do you ever get lonely?" she asked softly, her eyes on her hands. _

"_Sometimes," Regina answered even softer. She watched Rapunzel's sweet face, seeing there was something she so very much wanted to say; and Regina stood feeling the same ache in her chest as she did every time she was faced with a child – though Rapunzel was hardly a little girl. "Would you like to see it?" she asked, trying to stifle the hope that bloomed within her. "There are guards, and servants," she offered not sure what she should say now, wanting more than anything for Rapunzel to say yes. "You wouldn't have to be alone anymore." _

_Rapunzel looked up at her when she heard that, for she had longed many many months for another's company. And the queen was looking at her so kindly, so hopefully. "Do I get to go outside?" she asked timidly. _

_Regina gave a small laugh and nodded. "I'll take you anywhere you want," she promised, feeling her black heart lighten. _

_Rapunzel looked at the queen sweetly. "I'd like that very much," she told her, her voice barely above a whisper. _

"_Then it's settled," Regina said almost happily, "you'll come home with me." _

* * *

_**So this is an idea that's been bugging me ever since I saw the new season with Neverland, and Felix. And next chapter will give way an explaination to more of Rapunzel's past, and who her first "family" was - and italics will be past tense. I probably won't go into too much detail on season 1, I mean in all honesty she's not really apart of anything yet. So she'll come up more towards the end of season 2 which is where I'll actually begin in the show. Please let me know if anyone's interested, it would be very greatly appreciated.**_


	2. Ask her if she wants to stay a while

_Regina lavished Rapunzel with her every desire; having new dresses made for her, showing her magic and watching as her eyes lit up with wonder. She spoiled Rapunzel, and she did it all simply to make her happy. And Regina herself was happy, Rapunzel wasn't afraid of her nor did she know any of the terrible things she'd done; but more importantly, Rapunzel looked at her as though she were the most amazing person she'd ever met. Regina felt loved, adored, and needed; she felt the joy of mothering someone who so very much wanted to be mothered. _

_"Are you leaving again?" Rapunzel asked as she walked down to where Regina stood talking to the carriage driver. _

_She turned to Rapunzel with as gentle a smile as she was capable. "Yes," she answered, "but tomorrow we will do whatever you like." _

_Rapunzel smiled and nodded, though she wanted Regina to stay she was too afraid to ask in fear Regina would send her back to her tower and leave. She looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder and smiled when she saw the Huntsman. He always stayed with her when Regina left, keeping her company - at first he'd reluctantly agreed but he easily fell under her sweet innocent spell. "What will we do today?" she asked as he led her away, Regina behind them watching as the two went back to the castle - wishing she could stay with them But her hatred and bitterness toward Snow White and her Prince kept her from it.  
_

_The Huntsman walked stoically beside her, casting his eye to every corner of the rooms they walked through as though he were protecting her. "I was thinking of teaching you to shoot," he offered, knowing she grew bored with many games - it surprised him, her intelligence - and he honestly couldn't think of anymore to do with her. _

_"Alright," she agreed pleasantly, knowing there wasn't much left for her to do - Regina didn't like it when she left the castle when she was gone, Rapunzel didn't know how many enemies her queen had. And so she agreed though she already knew how to shoot, it was something she enjoyed doing. _

_The Huntsman nodded pleased and led her to the training ground. "Now," he said holding a bow and notching an arrow to show her what he meant, "you hold your bow like this, keep your feet shoulder width apart and," he stopped when an arrow stuck in the center of the target. "You know how to shoot?" he asked impressed. _

_She lowered the bow and looked at him bashfully. "Yes, a," she hesitated a moment before continuing, "friend taught me how." _

_He looked at her closely, seeing in her eyes it wasn't just a friend and also that it wasn't entirely a pleasant memory, and nodded. "Very well," he said, "how about a bigger challenge." He felt a rare smile curl on his mouth at the lovey smile that graced her face. _

_..._

_"Rapunzel," Regina yelled shaking her. "Rapunzel!" She sighed relieved when the girl opened her eyes, having been trying to push her away as she fought her dream. She wrapped her arms around Rapunzel and held her as she shook, running a hand over her hair. "Shh, it's alright. It's alright," she soothed. She'd heard Rapunzel's faint crying out from her room, it's what had woken her. Regina waited until she laid against her breathing softly, holding her tight against her. "Were you dreaming of that place again?" she asked, having coaxed out of Rapunzel the first night she'd had a nightmare that the girl had only ever been out of her tower once - and though she never said where that place was, Regina knew it wasn't a good one. _

_"Yes," Rapunzel whispered, though it had been a person she was dreaming of; she always dreamed of him. "Can you stay with me?" she asked softly, not wanting to be alone. _

_Regina smiled softly. "Of course," she assured her. She crawled beneath the covers and laid beside Rapunzel, even though the girl hadn't been completely honest with her. Regina had heard clearly the name Rapunzel had been saying, the boy she had been crying out for. But as Rapunzel curled against her, Regina let it pass. _

* * *

"Do you really think she had anything to do with Kathyrn's disappearance?" Mother Superior asked Emma, disbelief in her sharp tone as she stared at the sheriff.

Emma knew she wouldn't take it kindly, it was a very large accusation for a young girl who everyone seemed to think highly of. "No I don't," she answered. "But she is close to a person I think did. And this person," Emma said trying not to outright accuse Regina to the older woman, "might have persuaded Cami to hide something."

Mother Superior's eyes did not soften even slightly but she gave a curt nod and beckoned Emma to follow after her. "Cami lives up here alone so anything you see is hers."

Emma stepped through the doorway and into the large room. There were six beds, only one of them made for a person to sleep, and a desk by the window that was neatly cluttered. "She's by herself?" Emma asked looking to Mother Superior.

"Yes," she answered with a nod. "She always has been, there aren't any other girls without families."

Emma pursed her lips and looked around, shaking her head when she remembered Henry thought Cami was Rapunzel. She really could be Rapunzel, Emma thought, living in the attic of a church all alone. But she quickly shook that thought away when she saw a journal on the desk. "Who is this?" she asked, having flipped through many of the pages to see a drawing of the same person over and over again.

Mother Superior moved to look over her shoulder. "I assume that's Felix," she answered as she stared at the young man's face.

It was a good drawing, a hobby Cami had picked up from years of lonely solitude; Emma could see the sharp cheekbones, the scar lining his face. "Does he go to school with her?" Emma asked. Even from within the ink she could see his eyes were dark, Cami really was very good at drawing. He looked dangerous in most all of the drawings save a handful.

Mother Superior sighed and shook her head. "As far as I know there isn't a Felix who lives in Storybrooke."

Emma turned to her with wide eyes. "How did you know his name?" she asked.

"She calls out that name sometimes when she sleeps, I only assume," Mother Superior answered unaffronted by Emma's interrogating question. "Beside the matter, that boy is very important to her, but he doesn't live here."

Emma nodded before turning back to Cami's journal, which turned out to be nothing but her dreams. She read a few but all it was were pieces of things Cami couldn't seem to remember; a dark forest, being afraid, the boy. Poor girl hadn't even known his name until Mother Superior had asked who the Felix she was yelling for was. But Emma found nothing, and in all honesty she hadn't really thought she would. All she left with was an understanding for the girl, who lived in an attic alone dreaming of a boy she couldn't remember.

...

"Hey!"

Emma turned from her car to the angry person who'd yelled at her. "Hello to you too, Cami," she said sarcastically, leaning against her bug as Cami walked up to her.

"You had no right to go through my things," Cami said angrily, entirely affronted she'd been accused of having anything to do with that woman who was missing.

Emma cocked a brow. "Actually I did," she told her sharply, and as a sheriff she had that right.

Cami rolled her eyes almost childishly, at least until she spoke. "On what grounds did you get a warrant?" she demanded, knowing why Emma had gone through her things, and also knowing Emma hadn't had one - she read enough to know Emma didn't have enough to get one.

That surprised Emma, cause Cami was seventeen and shouldn't be asking questions like that; that was actually the question Mother Superior should have asked. "You're close to a potential suspect, I was following a lead," Emma told her in a clipped voice.

Cami smiled bitterly and nodded. "Of course. And I'm sure you found something incriminating on Regina in my stuff, right?" she asked, surprising Emma again.

"I'm not," Emma starting fighting for the words, "allowed to talk about an ongoing investigation," she finished, staring at Cami's hot eyes.

"Meaning you found nothing," Cami said crossing her arms, sounding more like an adult than she looked.

She was right, and Emma hated to admit it cause she knew Regina had something to do with it. "Meaning I found nothing on you," Emma said turning back to her car.

But Cami wasn't finished, because Emma was personally attacking the only person who actually cared about her. "Maybe there isn't anything to find," Cami said causing Emma to turn back to her. "Maybe Ms. Mills isn't as awful as you seem to think. Or maybe you're just prejudice cause she's the one who raised your son."

Emma stared at her shocked. "Excuse me?" she demanded outraged.

"Has she actually done anything to you?" Cami asked as though she hadn't heard Emma. "Or is she only defending herself after you threatened to take him away from her?"

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Emma asked nearly yelling.

But again, Cami didn't seem to hear her. "Do you know what I would give to have her love me like she does Henry?" she asked, her voice straining. "To have anyone."

She didn't finish the sentence, but as Emma stared at her wide tear-filled eyes, she knew what Cami had been about to say - "To have anyone love me." It was a feeling Emma knew all too well, to settle for anyone if it meant being loved. It was then, seeing her sad face, that Emma remembered Cami was only seventeen.

Cami raised her hands in defense. "Just leave me out of your investigations," she said before turning away.

With a sigh of defeat and a roll of her eyes Emma called her name. "You want a ride?" Emma offered when Cami turned back to her.

They drove in silence, Cami looking out the window and Emma looking at her out of the corner of her eye every so often. She knew Cami didn't like her, knew it was because Regina didn't like her, and Emma wanted to not like Cami either but it was hard when Emma saw so much of herself in her. Emma pulled to stop in front of the church, realizing Cami was gonna go inside and to her room where she'd be completely alone - a thought that made Emma regret not being nicer to her.

"Why'd you give me a ride?" Cami asked softly, not understanding the kindness behind the action.

Emma looked at her, opening her mouth to answer, and she shrugged. "Cause I do know," she said looking at Cami. "Okay, I get it. I know what it's like to want a family, to want _someone_ to love you."

Cami kept her eyes on her lap, wondering if Emma really did know how she felt; hearing in her voice that she did. "Did you ever find anyone?"

Emma looked at Cami, her sad eyes too old for her young sweet face, and she nodded.

"Henry," Cami answered for her realizing that was why Emma had stayed. It was a good reason, and Henry really did like her; and Emma didn't seem so awful. But every time Cami saw Regina now her face was disheartened, her eyes lost. "Henry is Regina's someone too," she said softly, watching shock and then realization dawn in Emma's eyes. "Thanks for the ride," she told her before grabbing her bag, and then she was gone.

* * *

_**I would just like to thank you all for reviewing and favoriting and following, it all really means a lot to me. I'm not quite sure how Rapunzel/Cami is coming across, but she isn't just a 17 year old; she was in Neverland, so she's technically pretty old. So while she has a young heart, she's actually pretty intelligent. Which is what Emma had a problem with, she looks like a kid but she doesn't always have the mind of one. And with Rapunzel, she is very sweet and nice; however she's playing it up for Regina cause she's scared Regina will send her away. But I don't know if all of that is coming out in my writing - and a lot of it will make more sense when I get to her in Neverland. **_

_**Also, I'm kind of jumping through the first season and just showcasing moments of her character - and I'm trying to make it obvious which episode I'm on during the story. So I hope it was seen in this chapter, I'm not sure how I did that part either. This is my first OUAT story, so go easy on me please. **_


	3. And she will be loved

The closer Henry grew to Emma the more Regina distanced herself, the angrier she grew, the crueller she became. She hardly even noticed when Cami stopped showing up to work, with losing Henry becoming a very real possibility she stopped caring about anything else. And the more Regina retreated to her old ways, the more Cami spiraled in her sadness.

"Are you sure you don't want to come down to eat?" Mother Superior asked, night having fallen and Cami having spent the hours since she'd come home from school in her room. She hadn't been eating much lately, not breakfast and Mother Superior didn't know if Cami ate at the school, and she'd only pick at her food during dinner.

"No, I have to study for a test. I'll eat later," Cami said flipping through a textbook. She sighed when Mother Superior left, trying to read the words on the page that kept blurring so she couldn't. It was Thursday, she always ate with Regina and Henry on Thursdays - she used to eat with them. Dr. Hopper had asked to see her a few times, probably at the urging of Mother Superior because she was losing weight, but she never went to see him. These were the times when she'd go down to Granny's where she knew Grant would be, and he'd buy her a dinner plate and whatever drink she wanted and he'd make her smile. He'd seen her when she was down, when she cried, and he always managed to make her happy again. He was the closest thing she thought she'd ever had to a best friend.

* * *

_"So," the Huntsman said as he raised his sword and stepped forward to attack, smiling when Rapunzel parried his blow and advanced herself, "who is this boy you dream of?" The queen had asked him to speak with Rapunzel about the person she called out for each night - it was something she hardly spoke of at all. And so he tried to offer a distraction as he asked, trying for hitting her side as she paused in surprise._

_She blocked his sword and stood watching him closely. "He was a friend," she answered, softly; all she ever said about him. But both Regina and the Huntsman knew he wasn't just a friend. _

_The Huntsman nodded and motioned for her to come with him to sit on the steps. "Is he from that place you don't talk about?" he asked watching her cheeks redden as she looked at her feet. All Regina had been able to coax out of her was that it wasn't as kind of a place as she'd first thought, but it had taken years for her to figure that out. It was hearing that, the years it had taken for her to learn it was dark and cruel, that had both queen and man wondering how old Rapunzel was. And it was in those few moments, when she spoke of the place, when her innocence was lost and her aged sadness seen. It was a strange sight, to see such old eyes staring from such a youthful face. But then she'd smile and she'd have them both wrapped around her finger. _

_Rapunzel knew Regina wanted to know where she had been, and she wanted to tell her but she didn't think she should. It was a place filled with memories, most good but the bad memories were truly awful. "Yes," she said, her voice hardly a whisper. _

_He looked down at her, seeing her fingers playing with the skirt of her dress. He'd seen the drawings she'd done, heard her call for him in her sleep - whoever he was to her, the Huntsman could see the memories weren't entirely pleasant. __"Do you love him?" he asked, the only explaination. _

_Rapunzel was quiet a very long while, the sun warm over their heads the breeze a faint whisper chilling over their skin. There had only ever been one answer to that question, whether or not he had ever been willing to admit it. "Yes," she said. But she would say no more. Not when asked, not after she woke in a cold sweat with her chest aching. She did not say anything else about him, or the others, or the place she spent years thinking she was happy._

_But then, in that moment, the Huntsman nodded and let it pass knowing she didn't want to say more. "You're weak on your left side." _

_"What?" she asked looking up at him startled, having not expecting him say that. _

_He gave her a half smile. "You're slower moving your left leg, we need to work on that," he told her before standing and pulling her to her feet. "Come on," he said quietly, holding her hand in his and pulling her toward the woods, watching her smile and look down. "I'll race you." _

_She looked up at him to see his eyes were bright and a smile fully spread on his mouth. She pursed her lips to keep from returning his smile, excitement alight in her own eyes. "I get a head start." _

_"Why is that?" he asked amused as he prepared to run. _

_She smiled sweetly. "Are you afraid I'll beat you?" she teased making him laugh. She turned and began running, knowing he was standing shaking his head laughing before he counted to five and ran after her._

* * *

Now he was dead. And though she didn't really think it was Emma's fault, Cami couldn't shake the feeling that it wouldn't have happened if the woman hadn't come here. She pushed her book aside sighing, knowing she wouldn't get anymore reading down, and her eyes moved to her journal. Cami flipped through the pages, looking at her scribbled words and her sketches, until she came to the last one. It was a drawing of the same boy she'd been dreaming of for years, the one she didn't remember. She'd started drawing this one that morning but hadn't finished it before she had to leave, and so she began to scratch in the details of his face; the ones she now had memorized. There were times when she thought she knew his face better than her own, and yet she didn't even know his name - because though Mother Superior had told her she dreamed of someone named Felix, it didn't feel like that was his name. She didn't just _know_.

Cami spent the remainder of her night finishing the sketch, tracing the scar that ran from his brow and down his cheek, and then the smaller one that made it look like a strange x. His mouth was curled in a condescending smirk, one she had drawn many times before. But his eyes were different this time, they were softer than she'd ever drawn them, and it was his eyes that had taken her the longest to draw. Normally she would wake feeling as though her heart had been ripped out of her chest, and his face had appeared unhappy and cruel - that was the boy she normally dreamed. But there were a spare few dreams where he was not so unkind, where his eyes were light and she did not jump awake - but she always woke with the same ache in her chest, as though with longing.

But this dream had been different too. The forest they were always in didn't feel so dark, _he_ didn't feel so dark. It had been a good dream, she had smiled at him and he'd smiled in return; he'd laid his head on her chest as they slept, touched her face, he'd kissed her. It was a good dream. And yet as always she didn't know why she knew him, why after years of dreaming of the same boy she still didn't know who he was - but she knew she'd loved him, and something had happened to have broken her heart. And there were nights after she'd woken when she wondered if his heart had been broken as well.

She turned at the sound of a knock on the door. "Lights out," Mother Superior said peeking her head in.

Cami nodded and turned back to her desk, closing her journal and her school book and turning out the light before crawling into bed. There wasn't even the comfort of hearing someone's elses breathing to know she wasn't alone. It was completely silent, utterly dark, and unbearably lonely. She could still feel the weight of his head on her chest, the need for her hands to run through his hair; it was as though even her body was haunted by him.

...

Cami was sitting in the library at the high school when the curse lifted. It was as though a gust of air burst through her chest and suddenly she was Rapunzel again. The boy was Felix, she'd been dreaming of him even when she'd had no memories of herself. He'd smile if she told him, and not a kind smile; one filled with bitter resentment. He hated her, they all did even Peter; and it was all her fault. And in all honesty, in that moment, all she really wanted was to talk to the Huntsman and tell him everything like she should have done. But she couldn't. And that was when the magic came.

...

"How could you?" Cami yelled bursting through the door to Regina's home.

Regina turned to Cami with a rueful smile, having been confronted by most all of the town and then humiliated when she discovered she had no magic. "Rapunzel," she said calling her Cami by her old name, "you knew about the curse, it can't be a surprise."

Cami looked at her confused before she shook her head. "You killed him."

It was Regina's turn to look confused, until she remembered Grant. "Cami," she said softly almost hopelessly.

"Why?" she demanded, tears filling her eyes.

"He chose her," Regina cried, covering her mouth with her hands too late to take the words back. She was left staring at the few tears that escaped down Cami's cheeks, her eyes blazing with anger and pain. "Everyone keeps choosing her."

Cami looked at her defeated, her shoulders weighed down with Regina's admittance. "What about me?" she asked softly. "Don't I count for anything?"

"Rapunzel," Regina breathed, tears welling in her own eyes, filled with regret. But Cami had already run out of the door back to the church. The only place she had now to call home.


	4. She will be loved

**_So in this chapter there is a pretty big jump through season 2; this beginning scene is maybe a few episodes into the season; where as more toward the end is after Emma and Snow go to Enchanted Forest and Regina helps them get back. It's after all of that. Just as a heads up, and so you all know where I am in the show. Also, thank you all so much for reviewing; they really mean a lot to me and they really help with keeping me motivated to get out a new chapter. So thanks._**

* * *

Cami pulled the straps of her bag higher on her shoulder as she walked toward the church. "Cami." She rolled her eyes and continued walking, not stopping to hear what Regina had to say. "Cami," Regina called again but she still didn't stop. So Regina made her.

Cami was forced to halt when the doors of the church slammed closed. "I see you got your magic back," she said irritably as she turned to her.

Regina gave her a small smile, though it quickly fell when Cami did no more than stand staring blandly at her. Which left Regina with not much else to do. "How have you been?"

Her face was still stoic even as she shook her head and turned back to the church. "Let me in the church, Regina," she said, her voice hard, as she tried to the open the door only for it not to budge.

"Talk to me, Rapunzel," Regina said, reverting back to calling her as she used to hoping to soften Cami; it didn't work.

Instead it made her even more infuriated. "Now you wanna talk?" Cami asked amused in a way only a pissed off girl could be. "After, how long was it again, twenty eight years? I don't think so," she said standing her ground.

"Rapunzel," Regina said helplessly.

"It's Cami," she retorted harshly. "Now open the door."

Regina saw her angry blue eyes, the refusal shining bright in them. "Not until you talk to me," she said calmly, knowing that this was her fault.

But Cami wasn't having it. "Fine, you wanna talk," she said walking down the steps and toward Regina, "lets talk about how you found me alone in a tower, huh," her voice grew louder, "or maybe you wanna talk about how you made a curse and left me in an attic alone for twenty eight years," she yelled, bitter and sad.

"I gave you a job, had you over every Thursday," Regina said struggling with something that would make a difference.

But it was the wrong thing to say, she couldn't have said anything worse. And she realized it when she looked at Cami's wide hurt eyes. "A job and Thursday dinners," she said softly, "that's all I am to you?" Cami watched as she tried to say something, only for her to find nothing. She nodded before walking back to the church, hoping the door wouldn't open, and tears burned in her eyes when it did. She closed it behind her and made her way slowly to the attic, berating herself for thinking Regina thought her worth more than dinner once a week. Nothing had changed, and she honestly didn't know why she thought it had.

* * *

_Rapunzel left the queen's library, which was filled with books of magic, and made for the dining hall where the Huntsman would have returned from wherever Regina had sent him and where Regina herself would have returned. Today she and the queen would practice spells, little ones such as starting a fire or making an object appear when it's nowhere near. Regina had already taught her how to find something she'd lost, as well as how to stop something that was thrown at her. Needless to say, she was excited; Regina always looked so proud when she got a spell right. There was only one other person who'd looked at her that way, and she didn't want to think of him anymore than she did Felix. _

_"Well who might you be?" _

_Rapunzel nearly jumped when she heard a man's strange high voice. He gave a laugh when her eyes widened at his large eyes and his scaled skin. He looked more a creature than a man. "Who are you?" she asked, her voice shaky as she took a step back from him, having never seen him before. _

_He gave a large smile at seeing she was afraid of him. "Rumplestiltskin," he said grandly with a flourish of his hands. She jumped gasping when she felt his breath behind her and turned to see he'd moved. "Now who are you?" _

_She stood staring at him with wide fearful eyes, his face losing the false cheer it'd been wearing and now his large eyes were glittering dangerously at her. "Rapunzel," she whispered, feeling her spine quivering. _

_"Ah," he said as though he knew of her, though in truth he had no idea who the young woman was. He stared hard at her face, seeing past her eyes and deeper. "You've been to Neverland," he said, his voice soft as air floating into her ears - but there was a steel beneath it, a loathing for the place. He snickered when she stepped back as he stepped closer, they continued the dance until he had her cornered against a wall. "Tell me deary," he growled, "how did you escape?" _

_Rapunzel stood with her back against a wall, her breaths coming in short gasps as Rumplestiltskin glared down at her. _

_"Rumplestiltskin," Regina's loud angry voice rang clear as a bell causing his eyes to clear and his smile to return. _

_Rapunzel watched as he turned and faced the queen, finding it no easier to catch her breath than when he'd been leering in her face. _

_Regina saw Rapunzel's wide terrified eyes and she sighed, knowing Rumplestiltskin should never have seen her. "Go to the dining hall, the Huntsman is waiting," she said, and barely a moment later the girl was gone in a rustling of her skirts as she put distance between her and the beast. _

_"What are you doing here, Rumplestiltskin?" she asked irritably as she walked away from him. _

_Rumplestiltskin gave a small laugh. "Oh no no, deary. First tell me where you found pretty little Rapunzel." _

_Regina breathed a heavy sigh, already wanting him to disappear. "In a tower, I assume you had something to do with it," she said, figuring her parents had made a deal with him and he'd taken their first born and locked her in a tower alone. _

_But he gave a shrill laugh and shook his head. "What would be the point of having of the girl if I kept her locked away?" he asked teasing. _

_She turned sharply to him, studying his face closely. "So you had nothing to do with her being there then?" she asked, turning away when he assured her he hadn't. She didn't know why Rapunzel had been the tower, nor who put her there. "Do you know anyone who would?" _

_He stared hard at her. "You care about this girl, don't you?" he asked, giggling at Regina's clenched jaw. "Oh what a mistake you've made," he said nearly dancing around the room with glee. _

_Regina stared at him incredulously. "What do you mean?" she demanded, a sharp edge in her voice. _

_Rumplestiltskin stilled and looked at her with a queer smile on his face. "You have a weakness," he said pleasantly, watching her brows draw together and then her face smooth with understanding. He gave a short giggle. "And now I know just where to hurt you." _

_Her first response was don't you even think about it, but the more she thought the more she realized he was right, that she'd been foolish to allow herself to care for the girl. "What do I do?" she asked. _

_Rumplestiltskin smiled. "You stop caring of course." _

_Regina looked down, picturing in her mind Rapunzel's warm smile and the way it touched her - and then she thought of someone harming the girl. And so she left Rumplestiltskin, who had already disappeared, and did not join Rapunzel in the dining room - she rarely ate with her again. She'd decided to pull away, to keep herself from caring. Even though it broke both Rapunzel and her own heart._

* * *

"Hey Cami," Ruby called jogging out of the diner to catch up to her.

Cami turned and offered a half-hearted smile. "Hi Ruby."

Ruby looked down at her to see dark bags under her eyes and her cheekbones sharper on her thinner face. "How have you been, I haven't seen you around Granny's in a while?" she asked. Emma had asked that Ruby talk to her, since Cami was back to not liking her, and Emma asked because Regina had.

...

_"Ms. Swan?" _

_Emma turned to see Regina standing almost awkwardly behind her, still trying to get used to not being the evil queen. "What can I do for you, Regina?" Emma asked crossing her arms and waiting for her to walk to her. _

_Regina hated having to go to Emma, to the woman who was stealing her son away from her. But she was starting to have no choice, not when the Blue Fairy called and asked if she'd talked to Cami lately, and that she wasn't sleeping well and was progressively losing weight. "Have you seen Cami around?" she asked reluctantly. _

_Emma's brows knitted in confusion, Henry having told her Rapunzel had been staying with Regina when she made the curse. "Yeah I guess," she answered, not having really seen her around and even if she had it wasn't like Cami was very chatty. _

_Regina nodded now unsure of what to say, or how to say it. "Could you," she started, pausing in irritation that she was having to ask Emma Swan, "see if she's doing well?" _

_"Is she not talking to you either?" Emma asked, wondering what had happened when Cami had seemed to really love Regina. _

_She sighed defeatedly. "I was wondering if she'd hate you for that too." _

_"For what?" Emma asked. _

_Regina looked at Emma quickly before looking away. "Grant," she said and Emma's eyes grew pained before she shook her head - knowing Regina had killed him. _

_But this wasn't about her, as much as it had hurt. "Were they close before?" _

_Regina nodded. "He'd always cared about her, even as Grant." _

_Emma wanted to hate Regina for what she'd done, sometimes did hate her; but she couldn't quite seem to hold anything against Cami, not when her face was so sad and her mirrored her own. "I'll see what I can do," she said, watching Regina's face morph into one of surprise. _

_"Thank you," Regina said, surprised Emma had agreed and grateful. _

_"I'm not doing this for you," Emma told her, giving her a last look before turning away._

_..._

"I'm fine I guess," Cami said shrugging, wanting to continue on her way in peace. It was easier for her to be alone.

Ruby nodded, not believing she was when the proof was on her thin and tired face. "You know, Belle could use some help in the library," Ruby offered, it had been Henry's suggestion cause he knew she liked to read. "If you're interested. You'd get paid," she said with a shrug, feighing for nonchalance.

Cami looked away from Ruby as she thought, though she came to her decision rather quickly. "That'd be really nice," she said, though it sounded more a question.

"Yeah?" Ruby asked with a smile, pleased with herself. "Well come by tomorrow for lunch, Belle will be there and she'll tell you when you can start," she told her happily.

Cami nodded in agreement, watching as Ruby turned back to the diner. "Hey Ruby," she called, almost losing the nerve. "Thanks," she said quietly, returning Ruby's smile before continuing back to the church.

It wasn't until she dropped her bag on the floor and sat at the edge of the bed that a wave of loneliness crashed over her. It would be so easy to say the words, the two words that would take her back to the place she never thought she'd ever wanna return to. The boys might even forgive her, maybe even Peter would; he'd always had a soft spot for her. She wasn't at all sure if Felix ever would. But she only sighed and laid back, wrapping the covers around her and settling for being lonely.

* * *

_Rapunzel sat at the window of the tower and stared at the trees all around her. As always she was bored, and lonely, with nothing to do but stare outside the single window. There wasn't a single door, and the ground was many feet below and she'd have died if she fell. But now, after she'd finished braiding her hair - which had taken her at least an hour for it draped down her back and gathered on the floor it was so long - she had little else to do but sit and watch. And so she did, all day; and even when night fell. But she loved the night, for she would stare at the stars twinkling as they danced, counting them or finding the shapes they made. _

_She didn't say anything, she didn't know the words anyways; but it knew, it could feel the sadness and the loneliness coming from her. It was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. One minute she was staring at what she thought was a star and the next it had moved closer and she saw that it was a shadow with two glowing eyes hovering right above her window. _

_She gasped and stood before backing away from the window, watching the shadow drift down until it was level with her. For many long seconds she stood staring at it, feeling that it was watching her - but she did not feel a threat. It reached it's dark hand out to her, beckoning her to grab it. And so she did, and she took a deep breath when it pulled her out the window; until she realized she was flying. And on that night, for the first time, Rapunzel felt hope._


	5. I don't wanna be alone forever

Cami peered around a bookshelf when she heard the bell ring, seeing barely a glimpse of the person's jacket before they were out of her sight. Belle had Cami going through each shelf and making sure the books were marked correctly and in the right place - which many of them weren't - as well as putting back the stacks of books on the floor; it left her with a lot of busy work. But it did what Emma and Regina wanted it to, it gave her something to do to escape from the attic and in result she ate more and slept better.

"Hello?" she called softly, her voice loud and clear in the still library. "Can I help you find something?"

She walked around her cart and toward the front, all pretence of being polite falling away when she saw who it was. "Why yes," Regina said with a small, tense, smile, "I was hoping you could suggest something for me." She stood looking at Cami's surprised yet unhappy eyes, nervously awaiting what the girl would say.

Cami swallowed every angry word that wanted to come flying out of her mouth, and she sighed before turning to the shelves. She didn't even look at what she was grabbing before she returned to Regina and motioned for her to the counter so she could check the book out.

"Civil Disobedience?" Regina asked doubtfully, her brows knitted and her nose wrinkled.

"Mmhm," Cami hummed writing down Regina's name and number and the book she was taking. "Transcendentalism, we learned about it in school. I think you'll enjoy it," she said handing her the book and returning to the back where her cart stared at the book before looking to Cami, sighing before turned and leaving the library; having hoped Cami would see she was trying to apologize.

It wasn't long into the book that Regina set it down unable to read anymore - which is what Cami had known she'd do after seeing what book she'd grabbed. In all honesty, no matter how interesting, it was a boring read. But neither Cami's cold treatment nor the book kept Regina from coming back the next week and asking her for a new book; taking the few minutes she spent with Cami, it was all she could get.

...

"Just, come in and say nothing," Regina said to her mother as she walked to the library, the latest book Cami had given her under her arm.

Cora walked steadily beside her, seeing her daughter was nervous. "What is it you're trying to make up for?" she asked, already not liking the girl Regina had briefly told her about.

Regina sighed, having hoped her mother would be gone when she went to see Cami. "I'll tell you later," she told her as she opened the door, hearing the bell ring.

"Back for another book?" Cami asked coming around to the front - only the faintest bit of kindness curled in her voice. Though in all honesty she was tired, having taken up most of the work now that was Belle was in the hospital not remembering who she was.

It had made Regina smile as she left the first time she'd heard it, seeing she was slowly breaking down Cami's walls. "Yes, maybe something else like this one?"

Cami looked up from writing the date and time the book was being returned. "So you liked it?" Cami asked before making her way to the shelves to find a new one.

"Yeah, it was great," Regina said, hearing the lie in her voice and wincing because she knew Cami had heard it too.

And she was right, Cami had heard it, and she looked around the shelf to see Regina's awkward attempt at a smile. "You didn't read it?" she asked returning to the desk. "Do read any of the books?"

Regina opened her mouth to respond but the answer was no, and it wasn't the answer that would make Cami happy. "I like seeing you," she admitted softly, having never been one to admit her feelings. "You talk to me about the books, and I just," her voice raised in desperation when Cami turned her back on her, "I want to know how you're doing."

Cora stood out of sight as she listened to her daughter nearly begging the girl to just talk to her, and if it wouldn't turn Regina against her Cora might have killed Cami then.

"So you come here for a book just to see me?" Cami asked, fiddling with the papers in front of her.

"Yes," Regina said firmly, that having been the only reason Regina continued to come to the library for weeks; willingly dealing with the insufferable Belle if it meant seeing Cami. "I miss seeing you, talking to you. I looked forward to _every_ Thursday," she swore, "and I shouldn't have left you there, and I am so sorry." She stood staring at Cami's back, seeing her head was bowed and her hands were still shuffling papers. She didn't know how long she stood waiting for Cami to say something, so she tried for saying more. "Maybe you can come live with me. Now that the curse is broken it can be like it was before," she said, and still Cami was silent so Regina fought to say more. "My mother's here, she'd really like you. Maybe you could come by sometime and meet her."

"I'm good," Cami said interrupting her.

Regina stood watching Cami as she turned, her head still bowed so her face wasn't seen; Regina's heart dropping. "What?" she whispered, dreading the next words she'd say.

Cami cleared her throat, swallowing the knot that was choking her. "You asked how I was," she said, her voice thick and her eyes almost glistening, "I'm good."

It was a moment before Regina understood what she'd said and she smiled in amazed hope. "That's great," she said, though she could think of hardly anything else. But she knew she had to leave, before her mother decided to come say hello. "Perhaps I could have this book a little longer?" she asked.

Cami felt a smile curl on her lips, one that Regina had coaxed out of her many times before. "It is a really good book," she said as she marked the date and wrote renewal.

"I'll be sure to read it," Regina said with a nod. "Maybe we could talk about it over lunch sometime?"

She looked at Regina, seeing the hope and the pleading in her dark eyes. "I'd really like that," she said softly, watching a lovely smile morph on Regina's face; a very rare, happy, smile. One Cami hadn't seen in a very long time.

...

It was days after, weeks after; after Emma, Henry, and Mr. Gold left Storybrooke, Belle still not having her memories, Cami still working most of the day in the library to keep it open, visiting with Regina several times a week whether at the library, Granny's, or Regina's home. She'd only met Regina's mother once, a terrifying woman with great ambition that Regina did not want her exposed to. And even then, Cami could see Regina was genuinely happy her mother was there. It was after Cora was killed, though Cami didn't know that yet.

"Rapunzel?"

Cami stopped in her tracks, having been heading back to the library after a quick lunch, and she turned to see a man walking toward her; Emma walking behind him. He had brown eyes, eyes that were so familiar yet his face wasn't.

Neal stared at her still beautiful face, seeing the confusion in her eyes as she tried to place him. He watched a light shine in her bright blue eyes when she finally realized who he was.

"Baelfire?" she asked in wonder, barely recognizing the curve of his features but enough to finally know him. And she was proven right when he smiled, a smile she'd never forget - not his mouth or the way his eyes crinkled - and she knew it was him. She smiled, one that lit up her entire face, and she rushed to him and wrapped her arms around him, feeling him holding her just as tight.

In all honesty, he'd never thought he'd see her again. She was exactly as he remembered her, still as pretty, still as warm. He smiled as they pulled away, staring at her face as though he didn't have it memorized.

"God you got old," she said staring at the planes of his face, the wrinkles he hadn't had before - seeing what the years had done to him.

He gave a heavy laugh, taking her face in his hands. "You don't look even two years older than I remember," he said, staring at her in awe. He hadn't thought Peter would let her leave, hadn't thought Felix would allow it - and they couldn't have been happy with her, not after all she'd done for him to help him leave. "It's Neal, by the way," he said releasing her. "That's the name I took up."

She nodded, a half smile still curled on her mouth, unable to make it go away. "It suits you," she said softly, seeing he'd grown handsome as he aged. "And I go by Cami."

"That's nice," he said nodding, still staring at her as though she were a star and he her humble servant.

"So you two know each other." Neal turned to see Emma's wide, confused, eyes looking between the two.

He fought for something to say. "Yeah," he said trying for being cool but knowing he sounded like he was trying not to lie, "we go way back."

Cami looked up at him with furrowed brows, seeing he was still a horrible liar, and that he wasn't any more eager to talk about Neverland than she was.

"You know," he said, an idea coming to him, "we have a few really good stories if you and Henry would like to hear," he offered with what he wanted to be a charming smile.

Emma stared hard at him, seeing through his smile. "You're stalling," she said blandly.

"Stalling what?" Cami asked looking at Emma around Neal.

Neal made a face and jerked his head, signalling to Emma not to say anything. Emma's eyes widened and she nodded before looking to the younger girl. "He invited his fiance to come here, and now he has to tell her who he is," she said seeing Neal sigh in defeat.

"His fiance?" Cami asked watching as Emma nodded. "Does she know magic?" Emma smiled, anything but happiness on her face, as she shook her head - despite Neal's hand gestures and his mouthing no.

He grunted when Cami punched his arm, giving Emma a hard look. "Forgot how good her right hook was," he said, seeing Emma's eyes were wide with amusement.

"I'm sure you'd love to meet her, right Cami?" Emma asked, looking from Neal's shocked face to Cami's displeased one.

Cami nodded, her lips pursed and her tongue in her cheek. "I'd love to," she said settling it before Neal could protest.

He looked between Emma and Cami, seeing both blondes were looking at him not entirely pleased. "My two girls," he said with an anxious smile, "meeting my new girl, this is great." He thought it was anything but great, but Emma was feeling fairly spiteful as of late. He looked between the two of them, hoping for a way out but finding none and he nodded before wrapping an arm around Cami's back and walking back toward Granny's.

"You're not gonna wait for me?" Emma asked seeing he was leaving her behind.

"Nope," he called back, turning his head to look back at her, "you were mean," he said before turning away. Emma rolled her eyes before following after them.

* * *

_Baelfire would always remember the first time he saw Rapunzel; the pretty girl who looked fifteen, her blonde hair loose and curled though it was not as long as it used to be; the very first lost girl. It was a surprise to see such a lovely face in a crowd of sullen boys, who watched him with hot eyes. She barely noticed him that first night, her eyes were on Felix who was returning to Pan's camp, as his were on hers. Bae knew the moment Felix sat next to her, and even more later when they laid curled together as they slept, she was not to be messed with._

_"She's very pretty," Pan said sitting beside him, lowering his voice so they wouldn't be overheard; Peter Pan always one for mischief. _

_Bae looked over at Pan, seeing the dare shining in his eyes, waiting to see if he'd take it. "She's spoken for?" he asked, playing it safe. _

_Pan nodded looking away, his fun ruined for the moment. "Very," he answered, looking over to Felix and Rapunzel. "Best to leave that one well enough alone," Pan told him with a smirk, as though he knew he wouldn't, "at least until he likes you better." _

_But Baelfire had never been one for following the rules, and Rapunzel had never had any rules to follow. They were a match in a dry brush, enough flame to burn the world to the ground. And they came very close._

* * *

_**So the last line isn't misinterpreted, they didn't actually almost destroy the world or even Neverland - however, Bae did escape from Neverland (well "escape") which is supposed to not be possible. So it's a metaphor.  
Also, this is right before Tamara gets there so I will now start to go more based off specific episodes; cause Hook will come into play in Storybrooke soon and he has history with Rapunzel. So she's starting to actually become part of the plot now. And I'm hoping for a Neverland flashback next chapter; hopefully it fits in. Thanks again for the reviews, they do mean a lot to me and I'm so glad you guys write them.**  
_


	6. But I can be tonight

_"I don't trust him," Felix said softly, his voice a hardened edge. _

_Rapunzel looked over at where he lay beside her, all the others having fallen asleep; their snores soft rumbles made loud in the still forest. "You don't know him," she offered as a defense. _

_Felix's eyes were sharp and irritated when he turned to her, glittering dangerously in the dim light of the fire. "That's exactly the point," he told her before looking back to the sky. "I'm not arguing about this."_

_She sighed rolling her eyes, hating that he never gave people a chance. "He's actually very nice," she said, knowing it'd only make him hate Baelfire more. And she was right, his eyes were hard and his mouth was set in a thin line; and even then she couldn't seem to stop. "I quite like him." _

_"Oh really?" he asked, the sarcasm thick in his bland tone. He knew it would make her angry, she never liked when he spoke to her like that; but at that moment, he didn't care. _

_And he was right, her face was a mask of surprise before it turned to stone. "I don't like many of the boys," she whispered through clenched teeth - and she didn't, many of them stared at her as Felix did, only they didn't have that right - "I like him. _I _am not arguing about it." _

_"And you don't care that I'm angry?" he asked, forgetting to lower his voice and even then he didn't care. _

_"Not anymore than you do," she retorted before turning on her side away from him. _

_Felix was left staring at her back, remembering the bite in her voice and he heaved a sigh. As much as she hated when he spoke down to her, he hated when she said he didn't care - he hated more when she was right to say it. _

_She lay quietly on her side, glaring at the darkness in front of her; and even then she was already thinking of how she'd go about apologizing because she didn't like when they fought - but he was so, protective, and it frustrated her. She felt him move against her back, felt his warm body curling around hers and his arms pulling her to his chest. _

_He looked down at her as she turned to stare up at him. "He gets one chance," he warned, his voice and his hard eyes enough for her to know that Baelfire would get no more; not when it came to her. _

_A smile curled on her mouth, softening his eyes. "You do love me," she said softly, running her fingers over the scar on his cheek. He smirked as he gazed down at her, bending to kiss her - being far more gentle than he normally was, even with her. _

_"Goodnight Rapunzel," he said slyly, turning on his back, waiting for when she would lay herself over his chest so he could wrap an arm around her. _

* * *

"You thinking about him?" Neal asked as they walked, stealing glances of her every so often.

Cami gave a small, almost sad, smile. "I was thinking of how hard it was to convince him you were okay," she answered, scuffing her shoes as they walked; having not really wanted to think of that - it was harder to remember him when he showed he loved her, when his dark and betrayed eyes glared at her every night as she dreamt.

Neal nodded as they walked, seeing she wasn't as happy as he'd left her; he knew she had been giving up a lot to help him, but he'd wanted to leave and she'd offered to help. "You miss him?" he asked, remembering the way Felix stood so close to her, the way he'd hold her as she slept, his dark eyes when anyone was near her - Felix had been possessive, overly so, and Neal only realized it as he got older.

Cami continued walking, even after Neal had stopped at Granny's bed and breakfast. She had no intention of answering that question, at least not yet. "Hey, aren't you gonna stay to meet his fiance?" Emma asked, desperate not to be alone in this even if she was nearly begging Cami.

"I have stuff to do at the library," Cami called back, "maybe I can meet her for lunch."

Emma's shoulders slumped as she watched the girl walk away, seeing Neal was disheartened at her leaving as well. Seeing the way Neal looked at her, for the second time that morning, Emma wondered who exactly Cami was to him. "You know Felix?"

Neal turned to her shocked. "How do you know him?" he asked, seeing Cami wasn't exactly open to talking about him.

She was surprised at the fervor in which he stared at her, it made her uncomfortable. "She's been dreaming about him, even during the curse."

He gave a disbelieving laugh. "Of course she did," he said as he walked back to his room.

"What do you mean of course she did?" Emma asked following him.

Neal threw off his jacket, frustrated with being drawn back to the one place he never wanted to think about again. "It's just," he started before he realized there wasn't a way to explain without talking about Neverland. "Nothing," he said finally.

That wasn't enough for Emma, she'd been asking the same question and now she was faced with a person who had the answer. "From what I know it sounds like puppy love," she said, not realized what she said was degrading.

"Look," he started, a rough edge to his voice he quickly shook away, "you don't know her," he said, staring at Emma's taken aback face. "She's not seventeen, I don't even think she knows how old she is," he admitted, "but they've loved each other longer than seventeen years."

"What are you talking about, how is she not a seventeen year old kid?" Emma demanded, finding that her answer only led to hundreds more questions.

Neal sighed, running a hand over his face. "All you need to know is that he pretty much hates her, and that's on me."

Emma stared at him, wanting to ask more, but seeing from his face and hearing from his voice he wouldn't say anymore. Though what she wanted to ask now was how he knew her, and what she meant to him cause Emma could clearly see Cami wasn't merely just a friend. She had just opened her mouth to ask when the door to Neal's room opened.

"I got the hot chocolates," Henry said happily as he took them to Neal.

"Thanks buddy," he said, relieved to not have to talk about Cami anymore; which meant he wouldn't have to think about her or Neverland.

...

Cami didn't find herself so lucky, it was too early to open the library and the work wasn't busy enough to keep her mind blissfully blank. And so every memory about Neverland, and Felix, decided to make itself known until she was drowning. Oddly enough the memory that played through her mind on a loop was when she first arrived in Neverland; it was the start of everything, it was the first time she had ever seen another person so far as she could remember - there were so many reasons. But the one she continued coming back to was that it was the first time she met him.

* * *

_The shadow dropped Rapunzel on the shore, and she was left watching as it flew over the trees and left her there; alone. It was warm, that was the first thing she noticed. And then it was the stillness, as though no wind moved - or time. _

_"Well well." _

_Rapunzel turned to the voice to see four hooded figures step out of the wood. She had never felt so vulnerable, had never wanted so much to be in her tower where no one could hurt. The others stood behind while one stepped closer, his face illuminated in the moonlight the closer he came; a dangerous light in his eyes, a scar on his face. It took everything she had to keep from shaking as he walked around her, his eyes hot and piercing as he gazed at her. _

_"Who do we have here?" he asked coming around to stand in her face - his body so close she could feel his warmth. "The shadow brought a girl," he said quietly, more to himself than to her. "What's your name, girl?" he asked, his voice deep and condescending as he stared down at her curiously. _

_She looked up at him warily, almost shrinking away; this was not the way she had imagined finally seeing another person - in her mind they had always been kind. But she was lonely, and her heart was racing with the nearness of someone standing so close. "Rapunzel," she answered softly. _

_A smirk curled on his lips, but it did not look the least bit friendly. "Well Rapunzel," he said patronizingly, sizing her up before looking at her shocked and fearful face, "welcome to Neverland."_


	7. I don't want to be alone forever

"Hey Emma," Cami said, having gone out of her way to the library when she saw the older woman.

Emma turned, her brows furrowed, wondering why the younger girl was now standing in front of her. "Hi," she said in return, her voice showing her confusion.

Cami looked away from Emma, not knowing exactly how to pose what she wanted to say. "I met his fiance," she said bluntly, straight to the point.

It was something Emma liked about her, no beating around the bush - it also got conversations done faster. But this wasn't something Emma wanted to talk about, not when the pretty girl Neal was obviously in love with was now staying in his room. And she tried to tell herself it wasn't jealousy, that even though there was just something that seemed wrong about Tamara, she was really okay. "What'd you think of her?" she ended up asking, looking down the street and wanting to get away.

"I don't like her."

Emma turned surprised eyes on the younger girl, her tone having been bland and her face placid - this was something else she liked about Cami, she knew who to trust. "Really?" she asked, playing for nonchalance. "Why's that?"

Cami gave her a look before rolling her eyes. "I know you don't like her either," she told Emma irritably, or else Cami wouldn't be talking to her at all.

Emma took a deep breath, irritation flashing in her own eyes, but she nodded because she was finally on common ground with someone about this - someone who wasn't Henry. "I don't know," Emma shrugged, knowing there was something about Tamara but it could always very well be that she was just jealous, "I just think," she stopped changing her mind on what she'd say, "it's like she's," she trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence - knowing it would make her look as bad as she felt.

"Here for a reason," Cami finished for her.

She stared at the younger girl in shock. "Exactly," she said softly, having had the same feeling when she'd been with Tamara; the other woman was hiding something, Emma knew it.

Cami watched as a relief settled over Emma, a relief only found in realizing you're not alone. "So what are you gonna do?"

"Me?" Emma asked indignantly. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "don't you and Henry always have some plan going on, like operation cobra?" Cami looked at Emma expectantly, waiting for her say something, and she sighed when Emma did no more than stare back at her. "Look, I already tried talking to him and he wouldn't listen. If there's a problem, he needs to hear it from you."

Emma watched Cami turn and walk back the way she'd come, heading for the library, more hopeless than she had been before. From what she'd seen, Neal and Cami were close and if he wouldn't listen to his old friend, then he probably wouldn't listen to her either. And was she left, yet again, wondering where the two had met; and she was so tired of wondering who Cami was, where she'd come from, how she knew Neal, how she wasn't seventeen, and who Felix was - she was tired of not having answers to any of this. Especially now that Neal was here and had the answers.

* * *

_"You took Neal hunting with you today," Rapunzel said as she walked beside Felix through the trees. _

_"Yes," he said holding a branch aside and waiting for her to walk through before he followed letting it swing behind him, "he's not a bad shot." _

_Rapunzel smiled and shook her head, the dullness of his voice meant to hide any kindness no matter how small; but she saw through it. "You know," she said almost teasingly, walking around a dreamshade plant, "you could always admit you like him." _

_Felix smirked as he walked behind her, going with her as he'd taken to doing as she made for a hill to watch the sunrise - they didn't always get there in time, something that was most always his doing. And it most likely would be on this dawn as well. "Maybe that isn't what I want to admit," he said, his smirk as coy as his voice had been. _

_She turned to him with a brow raised, seeing the arrogant smile on his face as he stepped toward her. She let him back her against a tree, seeing they wouldn't make it to the hill and smiling anyways. "Do you want to admit you love me?" she asked, knowing he was hinting at it - it was the only way he could actually say it, without actually saying the words; it was all he could manage, and she took all she could get. _

_His lips curled in a smile as he stepped to her, his hands around her waist keeping her still, bending his head to hers, pressing closer when she raised her chin. He felt her release a breath when he brushed his lips against hers, felt her push against him when he did it again teasing her. She finally grabbed his face and pulled his mouth to hers, kissing him fully. He may have smiled, would normally have smiled, but they hadn't spent much time alone in weeks and he'd been craving this. _

_..._

_That was the sight Baelfire stumbled upon a few minutes later. He considered turning around, the two having not noticed him, but he knew he couldn't. "Felix," he called quietly, watching the older boy's hips still and his head turn to look at him with infuriated eyes. If looks to kill, Bae would be dead where he stood from the way Felix glared at him. "Pan wants you," he offered meekly, looking down as Felix unwound Rapunzel's legs from around his waist. Though he stole a glance at them and saw Felix kiss her cheek quickly before tying his pants and stalking away. _

_"What did Pan want him for?" she asked, her voice and eyes much kinder. _

_Bae averted his eyes when he realized she was pulling up her pants and retying them as well, his cheeks burning. "I don't know," he said softly, trying not to look at her. _

_Rapunzel looked at his bright pink cheeks, and his eyes looking at everything but her, and she smiled. "Come on," she said before continuing on toward the hill. _

_He looked after her, wondering if he should, before he trampled after her. "Where are we going?" he asked, seeing the large hill she was now headed straight for. _

_"You'll see," she said pleasantly, walking easily up it as she had been doing for years. Sitting and waiting for Bae to join her when he finally heaved himself to the top and flopped down beside her. _

_Bae stared at the sky above him, lightening only slightly as dawn began to break. He breathed heavily, his heart pounding angrily in his chest as he laid there, and then he lost his breath again when the sun began to rise. "Whoa," he breathed. _

_Rapunzel looked over at him with a smile before turning back to the array of colors before them. Orange and pink bled together, mixing with the blue of the night sky creating purple streaks. "I wish I could paint it," she said softly, the first sound either of them made after several long minutes, when all that was left was the orange. _

_"That," he said before losing any word that would never have been good enough to describe it. _

_"It makes this place not so bad," she said almost shyly, lowering her voice as though she were afraid to be overheard. _

_But Bae heard her, and he looked at her amazed. She'd always seemed so happy, so content, one of them; now seeing her face, when Felix wasn't around to mask the pain in her eyes, he realized she was more like him._

* * *

"Hey," Neal greeted when he opened the door to find it had been Cami who was been knocking.

She gave him a small smile that quickly fell. She was as unhappy as he'd ever seen her, and he ushered her into the room. "Where's Tamara?" she asked, making sure the other woman wasn't there.

"She went running," he answered. "You okay?" he asked, knowing her well enough to know she wasn't. But he didn't know her well as Felix, who would have known exactly what was wrong and how to go about making her happy again.

Cami looked up at him, seeing his aged face that was so familiar yet completely different than she remembered. "Do you ever miss it?"

"No," he answered before he thought about it, and when he did he realized what a mistake that answer had been; and he knew it more when he watched her eyes fill with tears. "Rapunzel," he said, trying to take back his words, watching as she wilted onto the bed. He wrapped an arm around her waist as he knelt in front of her, seeing her chin quivering, and he sighed. "Do you really miss it?" he asked looking into her sad eyes, "or do you just miss him?"

She shrugged, swallowing her tears; but that was the answer - Felix was always the answer. It had never bothered her before how much she'd loved him, how much she depended on him to always be there; not until she left, not until now when she hated him for how she felt. She didn't know who she was without him, she didn't know how to live without him - Neal had known the moment he saw her sad blue eyes, even though she'd been smiling, that she wasn't happy. And as always, Felix was the answer. "What am I supposed to do now?" she asked, nearly begging for an answer.

Neal was struck with just how much he was at fault for this. She would have still been in Neverland if she hadn't helped him leave, she would have still been with Felix if she hadn't betrayed them all, she would be happy. And he was left, once again, wanting to apologize for it all. "Hey," he said softly, cupping her cheek and forcing her to look at him, "you're gonna be okay," he told her gently, staring hard at her.

Neal on his knees, a hand around her back and the other on her face, staring into her eyes, was the sight Tamara and Emma were met with when they opened the door. To say the least, it made them both wonder.

"Hey guys," Neal said standing abruptly, surprised to see Emma with Tamara.

Tamara heard the unsettledness in his tone and she tried to smile. "Hey," she said in return, "I ran into Emma and invited her to coffee."

Neal looked to Emma to see in her eyes it was something she hadn't agreed to happily. "Right," he said awkwardly, "maybe you'd like to come too?" he asked, hoping Cami would say yes. He looked down to see her wiping beneath her eyes and his shoulders slumped at knowing she wouldn't.

"Thanks for the offer but I'm just gonna go," she said, her voice strained, brushing past both women as she rushed past.

Both of them turned back to Neal with the same questioning in their eyes, leaving him nothing to do but to offer an uncomfortable smile. Emma stuck her tongue in her cheek and followed after Neal and Tamara, seeing Cami had been much more than a friend - at least to him - leaving her to grit her teeth and act as pleasant as she could.

* * *

_"Who do we have here?" a boy no older than herself asked, stepping close to her to better look at her face. _

_The boy with the scar on his face nudged her forward. "The shadow brought her," he told the boy, causing his eyes to leave Rapunzel's face to look at him, "her name is Rapunzel." _

_The boy looked back to her with a half smile, holding her chin and forcing her to look at him. "And what was your home like?" he asked, stepping away from her. _

_She stared at him not sure what to say, her mouth opened slightly before she pressed her lips together. _

_He continued staring at her, his hard eyes searching curiously over her face. "Tommy's father," he said pointing to a young boy, "likes to spend more time with other women than come home. Rufio's mother likes to drink, and then hit him because he looks too much like his father. Felix's father,"_

_"I think she gets it." _

_Rapunzel looked over her shoulder to see the scarred boy was the one who had spoken and was now staring unhappily at the other. She looked back to the boy who seemed to be their leader, seeing his eyes were hard, and then he smiled and looked to her. "Well?" he asked expectantly. "What was your family like?" _

_She glanced around and saw they were all staring at her just as wonderingly. "I don't have a family," she said softly. _

_"Ah," the boy said nodding as though he understood, "so you're an orphan like the Twins." _

_She turned to see the boys he'd motioned to before turning back to him and shaking her head. "I don't," she said even quieter, "know what that means." _

_The boy's brows knitted together and he stepped closer to her. "Where did you live?" _

_"A tower," she answered. _

_He continued to stare at her, as though the answers could be found in her eyes. "It must have been very big," he said, wondering who she was and what to do with her - they'd never had a girl before, and he didn't know if he wanted to start. _

_She let him wrap an arm around her back and lead her to a log, finding that this - speaking with, and touching, another person - is what she had been yearning for her whole life. "No, it was quite small actually," she answered, fixing her skirt so she could sit. "There was only one window, and there weren't any doors." _

_"How did you go outside if there weren't any doors?" he asked only moments after she'd stopped speaking, surprising her with his intensity. _

_She swallowed before answering; her voice meek and quiet. "I've never been outside before." _

_He looked at her, searching for any sign that she was not being honest and finding that she was telling the truth. And it made him wonder. "Have you," he said leaning closer to her, "ever seen another person before." He stared hard at her, watching her still awed and nervous face, and waited until she shook her head. And that settled it, she would be their very first girl. "Well Rapunzel," he said grandiosely, "allow me to be the first person to introduce themself to you." He stood and gave her an exaggerated bow making her smile. "I am Peter Pan," he greeted, "and I think we are going to enjoy having you."_

* * *

**_So I honestly have no idea how to write Peter Pan, he's very difficult especially since we don't fully know whether or not he's a "bad guy". And I'm not sure exactly how to write him, so I hope the way I did him in this chapter keeps him sort of close to how he is in the show. And if not, do you guys have any suggestions on how to write him? _**


	8. But I love a gypsy life

Cami sat at her desk in the attic, looking through the journal she'd kept; seeing Felix's face on ever other few pages and discriptions of him in her dreams curled in the ink. She dreamed of their last fight, the one where he told her to leave - she hadn't remembered anything about it as Cami, but now looking at the words with Rapunzel's memories she'd been haunted by the pain and desperation of him hating her. For twenty-eight years.

She looked up at the sound of a knock on her door and turned to see Mother Superior. "There's a call for you," she said with a small smile, having seen less of the girl now that she was taking up most of the responsibilities at the library.

"Who is it?" Cami asked as she followed her down the stairs.

"Emma."

Cami looked at the back of Mother Superiors surprised though the woman didn't turn, not until Cami had taken the phone. "Is something wrong?"

"Well hello to you too," Emma said, sarcasm heavily laced in her voice. "Have you seen Regina?" she asked getting straight to the point, her worry growing and Henry's face staring up at her making her more nervous.

The question made Cami pause, because she hadn't; and because of Neal she hadn't even noticed. "No, I haven't. Is everything alright?"

Emma sighed, now knowing there was something very wrong - Regina wouldn't have left Henry, and she certainly wouldn't have Cami either of that Emma was sure. And so there was only one answer; Regina was missing. "Mary Margret and David are going to talk to Mr. Gold, I'm gonna talk to Neal, can you stay with Henry?" Emma asked, not wanting to leave him alone when she knew very well he would go looking to help.

Cami was only half listening though, her eyes were following a very familiar figure walking down the street and every alert in her mind was sounding. It wasn't until Emma yelled her name that she remembered she was supposed to answer. "Yeah sure, have him come to the library I'll keep him busy," she said distractedly, looking out the window to see where they were going. "And Emma," she said quickly before she forgot, "do you think she's alright?"

She didn't know how to answer that, at least not without upsetting Cami and Henry. "Yeah I do, and we're gonna find her. He'll be there in less than ten minutes," she said waiting for Cami to respond but she'd already hung up the phone and was out of the church.

She walked as quickly as she could without running, trailing behind the man with the dark hair and long black coat until she was close enough to call to him. "Hook?"

He stopped midstride and turned slowly, his brows drawn together in suspicion before he saw her familiar face; and then his charming smile spread on his mouth and he walked to her. "Now yours is a face I never thought to see again," he said as he stopped in front of her, and had he been anyone but him he might have hugged her. As it was he stood impossibly close without touching her; she could count on her fingers the number of times he'd ever touched and most of them was to help her step over something. Even though Felix had looked like a boy, almost half his age, something in his eyes when anyone was near her kept Hook from testing him. And even though Felix wasn't here, Hook still didn't. "Why aren't you in Neverland, Rapunzel?" he asked, knowing very well Felix, let alone Pan, wouldn't just let her leave. "However did you escape?"

She looked up at him, not so happy to see as she was before; though it was a just question, she had been so caught by Peter there was no reason for her to have left. Though she remembered what Bae had told her of Hook, and she didn't think that now - as Neal - he would want the other man to know. "Why are _you_ here, Hook?" she asked, watching him smile as he looked away from her briefly.

"It seems we have come to an impasse," he said turning back to her with a smirk, knowing she wouldn't answer him.

Cami nodded before she walked around him, only having wanted to see that it really was him and now knowing trouble in some form was on its way; and quite possibly Neverland, it was too much of a coincidence that Neal and Hook were now here. It had always been the plan to go back, Peter had given her way to return, but she wasn't ready yet. Peter had counted on her hating her tower when she'd returned, wanting to come back because they were her family and she loved them all; but he hadn't counted on Regina finding her, nor the curse that allowed for her to find others who cared for her. "I have to be going," she said remembering she was supposed to be at the library with Henry, that Emma and her parents were looking for Regina because no one had seen her - and somehow Neal's fiance had a hand, though he wouldn't listen.

"You should come by my ship," he said turning to watch her as she left, arrogance laced in his voice. "We can rehash old times."

Her smile was anything but happy when she turned back to him. "The last time I was on your ship it was as a hostage," she told him, watching him smile as though it were a fond memory. "I really must be going," she said over her shoulder as she made her way to the library.

"I will find out," he called, and she had no doubt he would; but it wouldn't be from her.

* * *

_It was years after Bae had left, something the lost boys hadn't accused her of yet though they watched her suspiciously. Felix wouldn't stand for anyone saying anything to her, his eyes would harden and his jaw would clench and the boy who'd spoken to her would slink away. Not even Peter said anything, though he had known from the beginning she'd had a hand in Bae's leaving - unlike the boys who only accused aimlessly because Bae had liked her better than any of them. _

_Felix also knew she'd betrayed them, deep down; though he hadn't admitted it to himself yet. Nor would he admit, not even under threat of death, that it hurt him. That she'd chosen Baelfire over him. It left him in a terrible mood: his arrogance grew teeth, his snark grew fangs, his eyes darkened and his mouth formed a constant scowl. A single look from her could make him stalk away, refusing to lay beside her for several nights. He'd force her to apologize though she'd done nothing wrong, make her beg him for forgiveness when it was him who was hurting her. She didn't know what he really wanted was for her to tell him what she'd done, to say she loved him and only him and that helping Baelfire hadn't meant anything because she would only ever be his. But she wouldn't speak of Baelfire, not even to him, so he assumed the worst. _

_And so, as she did every morning, she hiked up the tallest hill to watch the sun rise only she and Felix were fighting; so she was alone on that morn. It was her aloneness that made taking her so easy, and the distance she went in order to get the full view of the sun easier to keep the others from hearing as she screamed for Felix before a man clamped a hand over her mouth. It wasn't until noon that Felix returned to their camp, having gone after her an hour before out of worry. "She's gone," he said quietly to Pan causing him to look at him surprised. _

_"Are you sure she hasn't wandered off?" he asked, it not being unlike her to explore - though from the way Felix looked he didn't think that was it. _

_Felix shook his head looking around. "She's not in any of her usual places," he said, the worry evident only slightly in his voice. _

_Pan thought for a moment, thinking of all the possibilities of where she'd be and only coming to one conclusion. He turned to Felix with a smirk. "How would you like to hunt some pirates?" _

_..._

_Rapunzel hit the deck with a harsh thump, her eyes level with a pair of black boots. "Hook," she said in greeting as she took the hand he offered her and climbed to her feet. _

_"Come now, Smee," he said with a charming smile as he looked down at her, "is that any way to treat a lady?"_

_"She's one of the lost ones," Smee answered, "she's no lady." _

_Hook tsked, though he looked at his first mate amusedly before turning back to Rapunzel. "Why am I here?" she asked. He almost smiled at not hearing anger in her voice, or panic as how most women would sound; but her eyes were different than last he remembered, they weren't as happy. _

_"It's quite simple, Rapunzel," he said, placing his hook around her back and leading her to the steps to sit, "I want to leave Neverland, and you are my leverage. _

* * *

Henry was waiting for her when she got to the library, nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet in impatience. "What took you so long?" he asked, following her in after she unlocked the door.

The moment they were both inside she locked the door again, a horrible feeling having settled over her at seeing it was Hook. Hook was here, Neal was here, Regina was missing, and there was something wrong with Tamara that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Things were going very wrong in Storybrook, and it was happening very quickly. And suddenly she didn't feel quite so safe anymore.

"Did Emma tell you anything about finding my mom? Do you know where she could be?" he asked, obviously anxious and frantic.

Even though she wanted to hate him, and she thought about it sometimes when Regina forgot about her, she couldn't; he was sweet, and kind, and he had the purest heart of anyone she'd ever met. And faced with who Regina was and everything she'd done, he still loved her. "No, I don't know anything," she answered watching his shoulders slump. "You can help put back books if you want," she said before making her way to the carts she'd filled.

For a while they stood quickly reshelving the books, Henry stealing glances at her every so often - trying to find the courage to ask what he wanted. "So," he said slowly, reaching high to put a book back, "how do know my dad?"

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, trying not to smile at how how unsubtle he was - exactly like Neal had been. "I met him a while ago," she answered vaguely, continuing to shelve books.

"Yeah but where?" he asked, knowing it didn't make sense that she was still so young when his father wasn't. Cami didn't answer, and he stood staring at her waiting, hoping she would. And so he thought of all the places they could have met that would keep her so young. "Did you meet in Neverland?" he asked, his brows raised in amazement, knowing from her shocked face and wide eyes that he was right.

Her mouth opened to say something but she found nothing. It took several seconds before she could speak, her blood running cold. "How did you know that?"

He didn't notice the wary look in her eye, the curious suspicion in her stare; all he knew was he was right. "My dad said something about Neverland not being what it seemed, it sounded like he'd been there." He said all of this pleasanetly, proud of himself that he'd gotten it when no one else had, and he turned back to the shelves and put back the book in his hand.

Cami continued to stare at him, her breathing changed to deep and labored, her skin crawling with that wrong feeling she felt when Emma asked if she'd seen Regina. She opened her mouth to tell him it would be best not to tell anyone else, because neither she nor Neal wanted to have to explain, but the phone rang keeping the words on her tongue.

"Hello?"

"We found her," Mary Margret said, relief thick in her voice. "We're bringing her back to my house. Take Henry to Granny, I think you should be here when she wakes."

Cami didn't say anything, she hung the phone up and grabbed her coat. "Did they find her, did they find my mom?" Henry asked hopefully.

"Yeah they did," she answered, unlocking the door before going outside and relocking it. "You're gonna stay with Granny until Emma gets you," she told him, watching his face fall. "Maybe you could coax a free hot chocolate out of her," she offered, watching a small smile curl on his lips before he headed to the diner. Cami waited until she saw him sit across from where Granny stood behind the counter before she ran to Mary Margret's house.

She burst through the door breathless to see Regina lying on a bed unconscious and Mary Margaret sitting beside her. "Is she okay?" she asked, looking up at David when he placed a hand on her shoulder.

He looked down at her and gave a fraction of a smile, seeing that it comforted her as he'd hoped it would. "Yes she is," he answered though he didn't elaborate; she was seventeen, he couldn't imagine telling her Regina had just been tortured. They both turned at the sound of the door opening to see Emma, her face broken and her eyes lost and sad. David left Cami's side to stand by his daughter, and Cami waited for the door to open again.

"Where's Neal?" she asked softly when it didn't, not liking the way Emma was looking at her.

She couldn't stop looking at the girl, she wanted to; because everytime she did she remembered the day she walked in on Neal holding Cami over his shoulders, both of them laughing. It was the first time she'd ever seen Cami happy, maybe the first real time she'd seen her smile. How was she supposed to say it, how could she possibly when she was feeling the same awful pain that Cami would.

But Emma didn't have to say anything, Cami could see it in her eyes. Emma watched as realization dawned in Cami's face, her mouth opening in shock as though she could talk her way out of him being gone but not having any of the words. And then her mouth closed, her jaw clenched tight and her chin quivering, tears filling her eyes. Neal was dead.


	9. I don't wanna be alone forever,

**_Two things; in this chapter I switch between calling her Cami and Rapunzel, and that will happen more frequently when I get to Neverland - it all depends on who's with her cause there are some people who only think of her as Rapunzel (like Hook and all of the Lost Boys) and then there's Storybrook who knows her as Cami. I just didn't want anyone to get confused. And second, I did weave her into scenes however I left out some of the dialogue because I thought it would be a little too much, and it wasn't really needed for my story. So there are parts of the scenes missing, just as a heads up. I hope you guys enjoy, we're getting really close to going back to Neverland._**

* * *

Regina watched Cami as the girl sat curled in a chair, her eyes staring at nothing filled with pain. "Cami," she said softly, waiting for her to do something, to even blink; Cami didn't, she just sat there numbly in a haze.

Her mind was on everything but Regina, of Storybrook and the fact that Tamara and Greg now had the one thing that would kill them should they active it. Against all that, she was thinking of Felix and Neal. She'd risked everything helping Neal, had turned the only family she'd ever had against her for him and for what - he was dead. Felix hated her for betraying him, for putting Neal before him; and she'd done it for nothing, because why did helping him escape Neverland matter if he was only gonna die in the end. He hadn't deserved it, Felix had come so close to a place where he could finally say the word love aloud; say it in a way that applied to her. He'd gotten to where he understood that even if he was unhappy with her he didn't push her away, he didn't pull away, and he never threatened to stop caring. Even faced with her having betrayed them all he'd still cared.

* * *

_Rapunzel sat on the step watching the men as they spoke quietly to each other, stealing glances of her warily - they knew how wrong things could go, if Pan decided to kill them all and take her, which was something he shouldn't be put past to do. _

_"How long do you think we'll have to wait?" Hook asked standing beside her, obviously growing impatient with the few hours they'd waited. He'd kept his hand on the handle of his sword, his eyes flicking about all around; he knew what was coming. Even if she had gone against them she was still their lost girl, they were coming. _

_And barely a minute later the sound of feet landed on the deck sounded, Hook pulling his sword the moment he heard it and the rest of his men not quite so fast and so a boy was either aiming their bow or knocking them out with clubs. This is how Rapunzel knew it would happen. Pan always had the upper hand. Though she, nor the boys or even Peter Pan, had accounted for how much Hook wanted to leave. She didn't even time to gasp before he grabbed her and held his sword to her throat, his eyes blazing as he turned to Peter._

* * *

When Rapunzel looked up she saw Emma and Henry and Mary Margaret and David all talking; she hadn't even realized they'd come back. Emma looked down at her briefly before turning away, her own eyes haunted by a terrible pain that only the two felt. And then the ground beneath their feet shook, signalling the end.

"Regina was that?" Emma asked, not daring to say it aloud.

"Yes," she answered. "The diamond was activated."

Cami got to her feet and moved to stand beside Regina, her face mirroring the shock and fear on everyone else's. "So we're all gonna die," Henry said making them all look at him. That was something that sounded so awful coming from his mouth. She didn't listen to why Henry wasn't a part of it, she didn't listen to Emma and Regina fight - all she could think about was that she'd never see Felix again. That she'd never get the chance to say she was sorry, that she really did only love him - she would never tell him that she knew he loved her, even though he couldn't say it she knew he did. And what broke her heart more was that she didn't think he knew that.

"Stop," Henry said yelling making his mothers stop arguing, bringing Cami back to reality. "I already lost my dad, I don't wanna lose anyone else. We have to work together."

"From the mouths of babes." They all turned surprised at the sound of the voice to see Hook standing in the doorway; he looked at Cami briefly, though in a single look he knew she was wishing to see Felix again, and it surprised him that he wanted to make sure she did. "I'd say the lad has a point." He was cut short when David punched him hard, leaving his mouth aching painfully.

Regina grabbed Cami's arm as David pulled out his gun, restraining her from stepping any closer; not knowing why she was about to defend the pirate. Cami didn't know why she was about to either, it's not like Hook had actually shown her any kindness - at least not any that wasn't for his own gain.

* * *

_Even Peter was surprised, though unlike the others he always enjoyed a good game and that's what he took this as - her life be damned. Felix was not of the same mind, his jaw was clenched his eyes were infuriated with rage and fear at seeing her with a sword to her neck. "How much is she worth to you?" Hook asked, looking at Felix but staying aware of where Pan was. He was goading Felix, knowing the boy cared for her - knowing Felix cared for her enough to give him anything he wanted. The same couldn't be said for Pan. Hook honestly didn't know what the boy would do, though he didn't think Felix would allow for her being hurt. _

_"You know what I want," Hook said when Peter did no more than stare at him expectantly; excitement and glee shining bright in his dark eyes. "I won't let her go until I get it." _

_Pan smiled amused. "And I'm sure you'll kill her if I say no," he said calling Hook's bluff, causing Felix to look at him out of the corner of his eye; his face a calm mask though a rage boiled beneath his skin, a fury, a fear. _

_And in all honesty Hook didn't want to kill her, he rather liked Rapunzel - she was by far the kindest hearted person to ever step foot in Neverland, but she was the only way to get what he wanted. "It's nothing personal love," he said softly in her ear before tightening his arms around her - digging his sword into the soft skin of her neck forcing her head back to keep from being cut. "Would you like to find out?" Hook asked, watching Pan's face harden when he saw the small line of blood trickle down her throat. _

_This wasn't part of the game. This wasn't fun. Peter could feel Felix tensing beside him, his hand tightening around his club as he glared at Hook; Felix wouldn't last much longer standing still, it was only a matter of time before he charged forward - and if the pirate was true to his threat, Rapunzel would die before he got a hold of her._

* * *

Cami sat in a booth beside the window, staring out at the place she'd thought was home for twenty-eight years; having lived with the people she now knew well enough to call friends. And now they'd all die. It was a numbing thing to think about, and so she barely responded when people spoke to her; she sat still and she looked at the sky, letting Mary Margret think she was comforting her by sitting with an arm around her shoulder.

"I know you and Neal were close," Mary Margaret said softly, seeing Cami was obviously grieving - not knowing she was grieving more for the boy who was alive in another land than the one who'd died. "It's okay that you're sad. And I know things seem hopeless now but we're gonna get through this," she said gently, though her voice held the confidence of belief and hope; both of which Cami didn't have. "Cami?"

It was a few seconds before the girl spoke, and her voice was thick with unshed tears. "Can you stop talking please," she said, trying so hard not to cry.

Mary Margaret looked at her sadly before nodding. "Of course," she told Cami quietly, wiping the few tears that fell before giving her space.

It was several minutes later, the ground shaking every so often igniting fear in their hearts with each second. "We have the bean," David exclaimed as he entered the diner.

While the others rushed to David in hope and desperation, Cami looked to the man behind him - and Hook gave her a small smile when their eyes met.

"Where's my mom?"

Cami turned from Hook to look at Henry, and then around at all the people there; Regina wasn't one of them.

"Regina can hold off the self destruct button long enough for us to escape, but," Emma said, trying to brace Henry for what she would say next.

But Cami knew and she was already on her feet and making for Emma, Hook's good hand grabbing her and holding her back. She turned to Hook with flashing eyes, ready to deck him.

"But what?" Henry asked.

"She won't survive."

Hook felt Cami tense the moment the words left Emma's mouth, as though she had taken a hard blow she was struggling to stand against. "Henry I'm sorry, I'm promised her I'd get you to safety," Emma said wishing he could see it was the only way - it was the best way.

"We can't do this, she's family," Henry told her. And that was why Cami could never hate him, even if he had stolen Regina from her; because he loved her too. "We can't leave family behind."

"This is what she wants," Emma tried to tell him, knowing their time was short. "We have a way out we have to take it." Against all odds, against everything Regina had done to drive her away - Emma didn't want to leave her either. Yet it was the best way to make sure Henry didn't end up alone.

But he wouldn't have it. "We saved her from being killed by the wraith. How is this any different?" he asked, trying to make her see why they couldn't leave her. "Right Cami?" he asked looking at her desperately, hoping she'd agree.

Emma turned to Cami, seeing Hook's arm around her stomach as he held her away from the rest of them; she didn't like the way he was holding her, as though he didn't plan to let go; which led to a whole slew of questions like how the hell did they know each other, and others there wasn't enough time to think about. But Cami either didn't mind his hold on her or didn't care, because she was looking at Emma with enraged eyes. "We're not leaving her," she said firmly, her eyes nor her face offering any refusal.

"The wraith," Mary Margaret said, having thought of an idea.

Emma turned to her in confused surprised. "What?" she asked, almost afraid of anything that could be hope.

"We sent it through a portal, why can't we do the same with the self destruct?" Mary Margaret suggested, no happier at the thought of leaving her behind; not even after all Regina had done to her.

Emma wasn't of the same mind though. "Because we don't know if it's gonna work," she said, hating to get Henry's hopes up for nothing.

But Mary Margaret had thought it through, and it was a good enough plan for her. "It could," she insisted, and David moved to her side in agreement.

If only Regina could see the Charming's now, Cami thought; fighting for a way to save her.

"It's too risky," Emma told them, though she was thinking about it, "no one will go along with it."

But she was wrong, because everyone would. Because just like Cami, they had called this place home for twenty-eight years. And if Regina was willing to sacrifice herself to save them, then she was worth saving herself. Hook's shoulder slammed against the doorframe when the ground beneath their feet quiver violently, his arms wrapped tight around Rapunzel as he held her up.

"This plan could fail," Emma said, losing all resolve to save Regina when death and her son being alone were looming so close. "If we use that bean now we can get away for sure, we can survive."

"But it's wrong," Mary Margaret told her. "Emma, I killed her mother."

"What?" Cami asked shocked though no one paid her any mind.

"You did that to Cora because you had to," Emma told her stubbornly, safety slipping away with every second they wasted.

But Mary Margaret shook her head. "I did it because it was easy. It was a mistake, there were other paths, harder paths and I wish I had taken them."

Cami was still staring at Mary Margaret wide eyed and confused; she wasn't a killer, Regina hadn't told her her mother died. It couldn't be possible, but it explained so much of what she'd been too distracted to figure out on her own. But then finally Emma agreed, because it was the right thing to do. She didn't understand when Hook let go of her what he was doing, not until he grabbed the sack David threw to Emma.

"You're mad," he said before pushing Cami to the door. "I can live with myself,"

"Give it back," Emma demanded desperately.

"If Regina wants to die for us, I say let her," Hook finished. He had Cami corned behind him against the doorframe, her chest trapped between his back and the plaster - she could barely be seen. But she'd be damned if she just let Regina die.

"You and I understand each other," Emma said stepping to him. "Look out for yourself and you'll never get hurt, right?"

Hook gave a pondering shrug. "Works quite well for me," he said, feeling Rapunzel squirming behind him.

"Yeah until the day that it doesn't," Emma insisted. "We're doing this. It might be stupid, might be crazy, but we're doing it. So, you can join us and be apart of something," she offered, "or you can do what you do best and be alone."

He looked at Emma's pretty face and then down to the hand she held out. "You're quite passionate, Ms. Swan," he said placing the small bag in her hand.

Cami nearly sighed in relief that he gave it back, not putting it past him to take the bean and damn them all to die; now they could save Regina.

"Why are you really doing this?" Hook asked stepping closer to her, giving Cami enough room to squeeze out from behind him - at least until his hook caught her pants and held her against him once more.

Emma looked away from him briefly and blinked. "The kid just lost his father, I'm not gonna make him lose a mother too."

Hook stared down at her confused. "Who was his father?"

It was a moment before she answered. "Neal."

"Baelfire?" he asked softly. Cami felt his body relax out of sheer surprise and she stared at the back of his head wonderingly; Neal hadn't cared for him at all, but from the way it seemed Hook had cared for him.

"Yeah," Emma answered, the pain clear in her face, before she left him to go save Regina.

Hook turned to Rapunzel to see the same look on her face, wondering how he'd missed it. "Will you go with them?" he asked, looking behind her to see they'd all gone. "They've left you behind."

She gave a short unamused laugh. "I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing it for her," she answered turning from him.

"Even if it means giving up the chance to return to him?" he said knowing it would stop her in her tracks; and it did. "I know you want to go back," he told her as she faced him. "I know you miss him. I can take you there, I can take you back." He watched her closely as she thought, seeing the desire his words had placed in her.

But she shook her head. "You don't leave family behind," she whispered, feeling tears swell in her eyes; giving Felix up yet again for someone else.

Hook nodded understanding, seeing Regina was someone she cared greatly for. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that," he said with sad smile. He cupped her cheek in his hand, staring at her deep blue eyes on a face too pretty for its own good. "It's nothing personal love," he told her before he slammed her head against the wall.


	10. Maybe we can see the world together

_"Let her go, Hook," Felix said through clenched teeth, his hand clutching the club painfully. He could feel his body shaking in fury as he watched the thin line of blood trail down her neck and beneath her shirt. If he ever got his hands on Hook._

_"I want to leave," Hook answered, digging the sword deeper when Felix moved._

_Pan hadn't moved from the moment he saw the blood, he was as still as a statue weighing his options. Losing her would send Felix over the edge, driving him mad with rage and sadness; many of the boys had grown fond of her as well, her death would be seen as his own fault in their eyes; and there was his own fondness for the girl who'd been more lost than any of them, one he'd never admit to even himself. He wasn't left with many options. "Then why haven't you?" he demanded, his mouth turned down in a scowl. _

_Hook laughed shortly, his eyes trained on the leader - he was the more dangerous one, even if Felix's eyes were screaming murder. "No one can leave without your permission," he told Pan. "Give me and my men the permission to leave and she is all yours, no further harm." He watched Pan's eyes narrow as he thought. It was a good deal, Hook now just had to wait for Pan to take it._

* * *

Cami blinked a few times before she realized she was awake, her eyes staring at the expanse of the sky above her; her heart pounding in her brain. "Ah good, you're awake," she heard Hook say.

Painfully she turned her aching head to glare at him, seeing she was laying on the deck of his ship. She was on her feet in an instant, which was a mistake because her legs gave way the moment the world turned on its side.

"Easy now, love," Hook said having caught her before she fell, gently lowering her to sit.

They were sailing away from Storybrooke, away from the people she had come to know - away from Regina. "What the hell are you doing?" she yelled even though it only made her head hurt worse. "Turn around now."

"That isn't going to happen," he told her amusedly as he took his place behind the helm, though a look at her pale face told him that wouldn't cut it for her.

"Oh yes it is," she said struggling to her feet once more, grabbing onto a rail and clinging to it. "We are not leaving them all to die," she said angrily.

Hook's eyes hardened at that, already warring with himself about going back; but he had the bean, he had his ship, he had her, there was no reason to go back. "And why should I listen to you?"

"Because you hit me over the head," she retorted, feeling anger boil in her blood at his amused smile.

"You wouldn't have come with me if I hadn't," he admitted, shrugging at her look of bewilderment.

It left her not knowing what to say anymore, though she had to think of something and quickly. "Since when do you care about me?"

He shrugged again, as though he had to think about it. "I always have," he said flashing a smile at her.

She stared hard at him, even after he'd turned away. She knew him, she knew him too well to have believed his words. "You weren't really gonna take me back to Neverland, were you?" she asked, knowing it was true even before he answered.

He didn't offer much of an apology, nor did he really care to. "I had hoped it would get you to come with me," he told her honestly though he didn't look at her.

She stared up at him distrusting, knowing Hook was in things only for himself. But she didn't quite believe that, not completely.

* * *

_Pan could feel Felix's eyes on him, his body tense ready to attack, knowing he was pleading for him to say yes. "Fine," he said, his mouth pulled so tight it looked like he was grimacing; he so hated to lose," you can leave." _

_"And my men," Hook bargained, tightening his hold on Rapunzel, a small sound escaping her mouth as the blade dug deeper into her throat. _

_Pan's eyes were as dark as they'd ever been, murderous even. "And your men," Pan agreed through clenched teeth, hearing Felix nearly growl in outrage at the sight of more blood. He watched Rapunzel closely, seeing Hook whisper something he couldn't hear in ear. She was looking at Hook out of the corner of her eye and even then Pan could see her surprise. He was watching her so intently he saw the small movement of her head that meant no and moments later Hook released her. Felix didn't waste a second before charging forward to sweep her into his arms and off the ship, not caring about the pirates anymore now that he had her back. _

_..._

_"Come with me," is what Hook had whispered, staring hard in her blue eyes. He'd known her for years, when she was completely happy with Felix, and now when she wasn't. He saw the want in her eyes, he knew a part of her wanted to leave; he'd have taken her if she'd yes. But she didn't. _

* * *

"Go back," she told him softly, seeing the questioning in his eyes when he glanced up at her. "It's good form."

The look in his eye softened at her words. This was the Rapunzel he knew, the sweet girl who knew there was good in everyone - had known there was good in him. There was a time when she'd had him wrapped around her finger, had convinced him to take her on his ship because she'd never even seen one. And now he wondered if she always would; the sweet girl with the sad eyes who just wanted to be loved.

Cami sat down in a heap when he turned the ship around, entirely relieved that he was finally listening; she knew he would, he was really a good man even if he tried not to be. "You like her," she said with a smile, seeing his appalled eyes when he looked down at her. "It's okay," she told him, raising her hand in a whatever gesture, "everyone likes her."

He looked at her smirking, seeing she was dazed from how hard he'd hit her. "You don't," he said. "I can hear it in your voice," he said answering her questioning stare, smiling when she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah well," she offered before losing her train of thought and slumping against a beam, "whatever," she muttered making him laugh lightly.

It was several long minutes before they reached the dock and he dropped the anchor before turning to where she sat. "Land ho," he offered making her smile.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Emma demanded when he walked down the stairs to reach the dock, seeing why Rapunzel didn't like her.

She was fiery, passionate, a little irritating and very untrusting. "Helping."

"Well you're too late," she told him sternly as she walked around the stairs to meet. "I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself," she said softly.

"Maybe I just needed reminding that I could," he said placing the bag in her hand, nearly hearing Rapunzel scoff like he knew she did - she was the one who deserved the credit, yet he was giving it to Emma.

Cami sat watching the sky above her turn in circles, hearing their voices but not caring enough to really listen. She was so tired, her eyes were so heavy; she just wanted to sleep. But with sleep came dreaming.

* * *

_Felix set her down when they were far into the trees, completely separate from anyone else. He brushed her hair aside almost frantically searching for where she was hurt. _

_"I'm alright," she said trying to calm him down, seeing in his eyes he was very close to tears - something that she'd never seen before. "I'm alright," she said louder, though he didn't act like he'd heard her - he wiped the blood from her chest and her neck, seeing she hadn't been cut too deeply. "Felix." _

_He looked at her worried eyes, feeling her hands on his chest; his own hands were shaking and he was struggling to breathe as his heart pounded relentlessly - he had never been so afraid. _

_She stared up at him, watching his eyes glance over all of her face, seeing _he_ was shaking. "I'm okay," she whispered, moving her hand from his chest to his face, seeing his eyes close at her touch. He pulled her to him, clutching her tight to his chest and breathing her in; he couldn't believe she'd helped Baelfire leave, not then. All he could think about then was that she was okay, that he could feel her warm against him, that she was his. She barely realized he'd moved before he'd already grabbed the back of her head and was pulling her mouth to his. He felt her sigh as she relaxed against him, letting him lower her to the ground and settle on top of her. She was okay. She was his._

* * *

"Rapunzel," she heard Hook's voice loud and hard through her gray fog.

"Cami." She looked up to see Regina kneeling beside her and she gave her a lazy smile. "Hey."

"What did you do to her?" Regina demanded turning hot eyes on the pirate.

He gave a weak smile. "I may have hit her a little too hard," he admitted, looking to Emma to see her hard eyes watching him.

"How do you know her?" she asked, what she'd wanted to ask in the diner but there'd been no time.

"Well," he started looking to the girl to see whether she wanted him to tell her, and instead saw Regina's hand over her head.

Regina helped Cami to her feet, brushing her hair back to see the faded bruise before turning at the sound of Gold's voice. "So, are you done trying to kill me?" he asked, his eyes glittering dangerously should Hook say no.

"I believe so," Hook answered reluctantly, relinquishing hold of the very thing that had driven him for years; not an easy thing to let go of. But he looked behind his crocodile to see Rapunzel, nodding slightly at her small smile.

"Excellent," Gold said with false pleasantness, "then you can live."

Cami didn't like him, never had; he'd scared her the first time they met, and then convinced Regina to stop caring about her - and what Baelfire had told her of him certainly didn't help. No, she didn't like him at all.

She stood beside Regina as they all watched Gold summon the Magic Ball and then prick his finger to activate it. The moment his blood swirled into a shape she knew exactly where they were going.

"Where is that?" Regina asked looking at the land mass and not recognizing it. "Where did they take Henry?"

Hook looked at Rapunzel, waiting for her to look up at him and seeing the wariness in her eyes when she did. "Neverland," he answered quietly, a place he had hoped never to return.

"Alright," Emma said stepping forward, seeing Cami still beside Regina, "you should stay here, it could be dangerous." Her son had been taken, she wouldn't be responsible for another kid.

Hook moved slightly to hide Rapunzel's angry eyes from Emma. "Trust me Ms. Swan," he said, "you'll want her with you."

Emma stared up at him confusedly, seeing he was waiting for her to understand. "She was," she started shocked before looking to Cami. It was all too much in so little time, she could barely comprehend that Cami had been in Neverland - had met Neal in Neverland because it made so much sense. They could have lived there for centries and come back looking the same as when they'd first arrived. There was a warning in Hook's eyes when Emma looked back to him, he wouldn't be leaving without her. And so she nodded stepping back, still trying to wrap her head around it.

Regina kept a hand on Cami's back, though she was no less surprised than Emma had been. She'd never thought Rapunzel could have been to another land, could have found other people to call family; she'd never talked about it. And even then, looking at Cami's face, she still wasn't talking.

Cami was as shocked as them. It was always the plan to go back, Peter hadn't thought she'd stay away - not when Felix was still there. But she thought she'd be ready when she'd return, ready for the hatred and the suspicion. Now it was being thrust upon her, she wasn't ready, she had no choice. She was going back to Neverland.


	11. I don't wanna be alone forever but

_"So tell me, Rapunzel," Pan said offering her a hand to climb over a fallen tree, "how did you live by yourself?"_

_She pulled her skirt up and took his hand before climbing over. "There was a pot of stew," she answered, smoothing her skirt before following after him, hearing Felix behind her._

_"It never went bad?" Pan asked teasingly, though his eyes were searching and curious._

_She looked up at the hill they'd reached and saw the rocks she'd have to climb, wondering how she would in a dress. The answer came suddenly when Felix wrapped his hands around her waist lifted her over the rocks, as though she weighed no more than a child, making her feel very small. "No, there was only ever enough for me to eat. More appeared when I was hungry."_

_"Hmm," Pan hummed, helping her as they climbed higher, seeing her tower had been enchanted specifically to keep her living; though he didn't think she knew, there was much she didn't know. "How did you learn to talk?" _

_He turned to look at her when she didn't answer, seeing she'd stopped walking and was now staring at the ground with her brows furrowed. __"I don't know," she answered finally, finding no memory earlier than when she already knew how._

_Pan walked back to where she stood, stopping when he was in front of her looking at Felix behind her to see his disbelieving face. "You don't remember?" Pan asked, trying to catch her if she was lying._

_But she shook her head. "I remember learning how to talk, and read, but I don't," she stopped shrugging helplessly, a blank spot where a person should have been._

_That was when he understood. "Your memories were taken," he said quietly, watching her eyes widen in surprise. He smirked before turning and continuing on, leaving the girl and Felix to follow after. He heard Rapunzel's small gasp when they reached the top of the hill, seeing her eyes were wide as she stared at the millions of stars above her, and he smiled pleased._

_"Where are you going?" Felix asked, tearing his eyes away from her pretty face when Pan moved to go back down the hill._

_Pan looked to him with a cocked brow. "Stay with her," he told him, "show her around."_

_Felix gave a derisive laugh. "What?" he asked, not wanting to play babysitter._

_Pan turned and walked up to him, grabbing his arms and shaking him once. "Look at her," he said quietly, "she's so," they both turned to see her now sitting as she stared at the sky above her, "new." Felix looked back to Pan, seeing he had a plan in mind. "We can make her into whoever we want."_

_Felix looked at Pan unsure; she'd only been there a day and already most of the boys were taken by her kindness and sweet smile, she was different, she was new; and she'd be easily ruined._

_"Keep her happy," Pan said clapping him on the shoulder before leaving him with the girl. He turned to her, seeing her pale skin illuminated by the moonlight, her bright eyes sparkling as she stared at the stars. He sat against a tree, tracing the curve of her neck, down over the swell of her chest and the length of her legs curled beneath her - she'd only been there a day._

* * *

"Pan hadn't planned on him falling in love with me." She stood leaning against a side of the ship, staring at the island she knew so well. Emma had demanded answers from her, she was angry because Gold had left them telling her she'd fail in saving Henry and she was afraid. And Cami was standing there so quietly staring hard at a place she'd kept a secret from them all. Now Emma knew how she'd gotten to Neverland, and what she was to the boys.

"How long were you there?" Emma asked, nearly glaring at her without realizing it. But Cami only shrugged, she had no idea; but it only made Emma more infuriatedly anxious and she went below deck to cool off.

Hook moved to Rapunzel, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently; offering her as much comfort as he could when they both knew the welcome they'd receive. He looked up to see Regina's untrusting eyes as she stood near Rapunzel, and he removed his hand before following Emma below deck.

Regina watched Cami's face as she stared at the island. "You sure you want to go back?" she asked making Cami turn to her. "You don't seem all that happy about it," she said in answer to Cami's questioning gaze.

Cami opened her mouth to respond but found nothing to say, she didn't want to go back - at least not yet, and she wasn't sure if they even wanted her there anymore. "That had always been the plan," is what she ended up saying, staring down into the water trying to push Felix's face out of her mind.

"You had planned to leave," Regina said realizing of course she hadn't meant to stay; feeling something weighing heavy on her heart at the thought that she might not come home with them.

She shrugged. "I was alone, I wasn't happy, Felix was here, there was no reason for me not to come back," she said, dreading even more when the ship would land ashore. "But then you found me," she said softly, turning to her briefly before looking back to the water. And even then, after Regina had found her cared for her and given her a new home with the Huntsman who'd cared for her even more, she hadn't really been happy. "I missed him," she said, fighting the swell of tears that built behind her eyes. "Everyday. Even during the curse I'd been," she stopped wiping her cheeks, "_yearning_ for him. And he probably hasn't," she said turning to Regina hopelessly. "He probably doesn't even care."

Regina was left not knowing what to say, if there was anything that could be said for her; this didn't sound like young love, this wasn't a teenager's fears - it was that of a woman who had loved a man for many years and was now afraid of returning to him. "Oh Rapunzel," she sighed running a hand over her hair soothingly.

Cami looked at her, seeing the sadness reflected in Regina's eyes. "Why didn't you tell me your mother was dead?" she asked, shocking Regina speechless.

She was saved by the ship lurching nearly taking them both off their feet. "What the hell are you two doing?" she demanded making her way to the helm when she saw the Charmings at the wheel.

"Trying to keep it steady," Mary Margaret called back.

"Prepare for attack," Hook said stepping onto the deck and grabbing Rapunzel. "Get below deck and hold onto something," he ordered before walking to the others.

Cami knew what was coming, knew there wasn't much they could actually do if Peter had given orders for the mermaids to attack - and both she and Hook knew it would be best to keep her being there a secret until they made it to land, what when there was a very real possibility the mermaids would recognize her and take her before sinking the ship. And so she listened, huddling in a corner below deck and trying to keep herself steady. The ship lurched and dipped as the mermaids assaulted it and the cabin around her shook and creaked as the wind picked up and blew relentlessly. And then suddenly everything stilled.

"Stay down there," Hook called, knowing the mermaids liked Pan - they'd know Rapunzel if they saw her, and Pan had given them specific orders to keep a look out for her; though that had been thirty years ago. Either way, Cami staid crouched down in a small cubby hoping no one did anything stupid. She knew the moment she heard the bellowing of the conch shell that someone had done something stupid, something like catching a mermaid and not taking her shell. Though she didn't have much time to think on it before the storm rushed in, rattling the ship in its entirety, jostling her roughly against the wood; she'd have bruises on her shoulders from slamming into the wall, but that seemed so trivial at the realization they'd die - she could hear the water gurgling on the lower part of the ship beneath her. Though when the ship was torn apart the mermaids would be watching, they'd see blonde hair and take her, whether or not she was still alive. She couldn't imagine the look on Felix's face when he was met with the site of her lifeless body. He'd hate himself for driving her away, it'd destroy him.

She was brought back to reality by the cold water seeping into her pants, a wave having fallen over them and water now sloshed around her. In that moment she wanted to be back in Neverland, wanted to be safe and warm in Felix's arms, wished she'd never met Baelfire. She wanted to go back to before him, back to when Felix loved her, even back to when he was only starting to.

* * *

_She had managed to convince Peter to let her go to the hill to see the sunrise every morning, tasking Felix with accompaning her as he always did. Everywhere she went Felix always went with her, told to keep her happy and give her anything she wanted; and in turn she sang every night before sleep, easing the boys who missed their homes into slumber. She had a pretty voice, a small quaint thing that was caught between singing and whispering; Felix hated to admit it, but he liked listening to her. He even liked taking her to see the sunrise, or to see the stars, or even to run because she'd never been able to before. He liked her smile, and even more her laugh; hell, he liked her. And she'd been with them less than a year. But she was so different, being a girl, she was kind and gentle - she needed protecting. And he couldn't find a reason why he felt the need to protect her. _

_"So are we seeing the mermaids today?" she asked as they walked, Peter having told her about them a few days before. _

_Felix wrapped an arm around her middle and lifted her over a log, feeling her pressed against his chest before he let her go. He enjoyed that too, the feel of her. He shook himself before following after. "I think he said tomorrow," he answered, knowing Pan had gone to talk to them once again about Rapunzel and that she was not to be hurt in any way. Felix had been informed he was to be close at her side in case any of the mermaids tried to pull her under - though that would prove to be for nothing for the mermaids liked her as well, Rapunzel had fawned over how magnificant their tails were and how beautiful their jewellery. And if there was anything to be said about mermaids, they were vain. And they had absolutely adored Rapunzel. _

_"Careful," he nearly yelled, grabbing her and pulling her to him; which left them face to face without even an inch between them. The air froze in his lungs at the sight of her bright blue eyes staring up at him, of her mouth so close to his own. He cleared his throat and unwound his arms from around her. "Dreamshade," he said pointing to the small plant that grew along the ground. He looked to her to see a small smile painted on her mouth, a sight that made his stomach drop and heat flood to his cheeks. "We'll miss the sunrise," he said turning away from her, trying to harden himself. But it was too late, he was already taken with her; and he smiled when she asked if he thought the sunrise was beautiful, though his eyes had been on her face._

* * *

The ship rocked gently as the storm suddenly dissipitated, and Cami uncovered her head and looked around her at the things that had tumbled over. They were alright, someone had stopped the storm. But she didn't get up immediately, she sat in the small corner realizing that she truly did want to go back to Neverland; she was just afraid they wouldn't want her. It wasn't an easy thing to understand, it completely floored her just how scared she was of seeing Felix again, of seeing him and him not loving her.

"Cami," Regina called, opened the door and climbing down the stairs.

She quickly wiped beneath her eyes and stood. "Is is okay for me to come out now?" she asked, pretending that she hadn't just been crying; pretending well enough that Regina believed her, too relieved to take note of her pale face and red eyes before she gathered her in her arms. "I'm so glad you're okay," Regina said, unaware that her touch had sprung tears back into Cami's eyes who in turn clung to her.

"Good to see you're alright, little flower," Hook said when David took her hand and hoisted her onto the deck, offering Regina his hand though she brushed it aside rudely.

She offered Hook a small smile but he saw through it, she was just as afraid of returning as he was; only they'd forgive her much more quickly than they would him. Something he thought she knew, because unlike him she didn't hesitate before getting into the boat with the others. She did however, hesitate in taking his hand when they reached the shore; her eyes were looking at the bank, at the trees, the sky. She knew this place, she knew it better than she knew even herself. And the moment she took Hook's hand and stepped onto the shore she'd decided her fate. She had come home.

* * *

**_Thank you all so much for reviewing, they really do make my day. Her reunion with Felix will be next chapter, and I'm so excited for it! But first things first, I have taken out parts of scenes from the show that Cami would be in but not really have much of a role besides being there; and I decided not to do them, like the scene where Rumple leaves or Emma's awesome speech at the end because they don't really add much to my story besides length. So I hope that it doesn't bother anyone that I leave some things out. And I really hope everyone is still enjoying the story. Thanks for reading guys._**


	12. I can be tonight, would you go with me

"The ridge is just a few hundred paces up ahead," Hook told them, most all of them exhausted from the long hike.

"Do you really think we'll be able to see Pan's hideout?" Emma asked, not wanting to get her hopes up.

Behind her Cami rolled her eyes, if they honestly thought finding not only Pan but Henry - who apparently Pan really wanted - was going to be as easy as hiking up a hill then they were sorely unprepared for who they were dealing with.

"There are dangers all about and only I can guide us past them," Hook said making Cami laugh and shake her head; him knowing about most of the "dangers" because she'd showed him once many years before. But she didn't say anything, and she hardly listened to any of them talking; she was straining to hear any sound outside of their group, the sound of them being followed, the sound of someone trying to get her attention - any of those were a possibility and she was ready for them. She hardly noticed the dreamshade plant, walking around it as she was used to as she continued on already knowing where Hook was taking them; barely hearing the others as they argued behind her. She stopped at the edge of the cliff, seeing nothing but the dark jungle she'd lived in the depths of with the boys. It had grown so much in thirty years, she could just barely make out where she thought their camp had been then, and even then staring at new trees and trees that had grown larger, it was all so heartbreakingly familiar - Felix was down there, and he probably didn't know she was here yet.

"Over here," David called when he and Mary Margaret and Regina finally made it to the top, "we made it."

Hook looked down over the jungle, seeing it had changed as Cami just had. "Pan's lair should be just right," he trailed off trying to find the spot he'd known before, but everything had changed too greatly for him.

"Where?" Regina asked irritably. "All I see is jungle?"

"Aye," Hook said looking at her briefly before pulling out his spyglass, "dark jungle." Even with a closer look nothing looked as familiar as it used to, there was a familiarity but no certainty that he knew exactly where he was looking. "It's, uh, grown so much since last I stepped foot in Neverland."

Regina sighed heavily. "So this nature hike was for nothing," she said snidely, hiding her worry with anger.

"Hook may have led us astray," David said not believing he was agreeing with the pirate, "but at least we're in a good position to start combing the jungle."

Hook shook his head. "Not exactly," he said making them all turn to him. "The dark jungle is the last place you want to set foot," he warned them, remembering the number of his men who had fallen within the trees. "We'll have to go around it, and in order to do that we're going to need our strength. I suggest we make camp."

Regina turned to him appalled. "You wanna sleep while my son is out there suffering?"

He sighed, knowing doing nothing would be hard for both mothers. "If you want to live long enough to save him, then yes." He turned to go back into the trees, looking for a better place to give them coverage.

"Where's Cami?" David asked noticing her golden head was missing.

Hook turned to him and then looked around, his shoulders dropping when he realized what had happened. "I had been afraid of this," he said softly, knowing the others wouldn't like it.

"Afraid of what?" Emma asked, her and Mary Margaret joining them. "Where's Cami?" she asked incredulously, having been standing beside her when they reached the cliff and now the girl was nowhere in sight. A look at Hook's guilty and her eyes hardened, her mouth pulling down in a scowl.

"Where are you going Emma?" Mary Margaret asked when her daughter made to walk away.

Emma turned to her, her hand on the hilt of her sword. "Like hell I'm gonna sleep when that brat is out there," she said nearly spitting, already imagining Cami walking into Pan's camp and telling them everything.

"Excuse me?" Regina asked dangerously, stepping in front of Emma. "Cami is many things but she certainly isn't a brat. Or do you only say that because she doesn't like you?" she asked smirking at Emma's look of shock.

"Look around you Regina," Emma ground out. "Cami used to live here, with Peter Pan and his lost boys. Where do you think she is now?"

Doubt filled Regina's eyes as she thought of how true that was, but she didn't think Cami would abandon them. "Ms Swan," Hook said intervening. "If she had been trapped by the curse than she hasn't been here in, how many years?" he asked looking around at them for the answer.

"Twenty eight," Emma said quietly, the tension in her muscles loosening.

Hook nodded. "Pan's probably moved his camp a handful of times since then, she doesn't know where he is," he offered as defense for the girl - he knew very well the reason why she was gone.

"Then where is she?" Emma demanded, already unhappy about making camp while her son was still missing. "She could be trying to contact Pan,"

"Believe me, Ms Swan," Hook said interrupting her, "it isn't Pan she wants to see."

That left them all standing confusedly as they tried to understand his words. "Felix," Regina said finally, seeing Emma's eyes widen with realization.

Hook turned to her surprised, wondering how they knew about the boy. "Aye," he answered, looking back to Emma. "Pan won't let her anywhere near their camp, not when she came with you. She will come back," he told them before continuing on, searching for as much of a clearing as he could find for them to make camp.

* * *

_It was two years after she'd first stepped foot in Neverland, Pan demanding that she be eased into the life of a lost boy - saying her heart was too gentle for that of fighting; a luxury none of the boys were given though they wouldn't have traded places with her. Pan looked at her as a treasure, as a delicate little doll who must be handled with the greatest of care. Even she knew she was there for a purpose; to satisfy his needs, to quench his desires. Only without Pan's realizing Felix had been the one to steal her heart. Awakening her own desire. _

_He could set her heart to racing with a glance from his hard dark eyes, set her cheeks aflame with the curl of his lips, electrify every nerve beneath her skin with the brush of his hand. And he knew he was doing it, having seen her turn away from him flustered; he considered it payback for what she did to him. He couldn't keep his hands off her, whether to help her over something she no longer needed his help with or a hand on her back to lead her in the direction he wanted or to simply brush against her when she was near. Her warmth was intoxicating, nauseating, addicting; and he needed it, and he hated that he did. She could get him to do anything she wanted, if she asked sweet enough. Most of the lost boys couldn't remember a time when Felix had danced with them; but he danced with her, and he smiled. He wanted to hate her, to push her away so he didn't have to think on these things; but even when she smiled there was just something so soft, so sad, in her eyes that he couldn't imagine not being by her side. _

_And so one day, when he noticed that she'd been going off on her own and not returning until night fell, he followed behind her. Her small feet were quiet as she walked, rustling only the fewest of leaves and breaking only a handful of branches. He was slowed by the need to make no sound, barely able to catch a glimpse of her before she was out of his sight. He ducked behind a large tree when she came to an area too thick to go any further, and she surprised him when she pushed aside the brush and climbed through. He waited several minutes before following after, not even seeing a difference in the vines to let him know how to get inside; but he stuck his hand through and pushed them aside before stepping inside._

_"I was wondering when you'd come in," she said softly as he stood trying to see her in the dim light. It was a circle of thick trees, big enough for maybe four people to lay down side by side; and it was very still, and very quiet. She patted the place beside her and he complied, sitting pressed against her with his back to a tree as the warm silence settled upon him. "It reminds me of my tower," she said after several minutes, her sweet voice shattering the peace. _

_He turned to her to barely see the gleam of her eyes as she looked back at him. "Do you miss it?" he asked disbelieving, knowing she couldn't - she'd been entirely alone, no human contact, nothing. She'd hated it. He felt her shrug before she turned away sighing. _

_"I don't miss being alone," she said proving him right. "I'm just used to silence." _

_It took him a while to understood why she liked being in the small, untouched, clearing. His mind, which was normally so full of the buzz that came with living, stilled and quieted. A warmth seeped into his skin as the time passed and neither said anything; they just sat shoulder to shoulder breathing. All he had to do, all he had to worry about, was to breathe. In all his life he didn't think he would ever know such peace again. _

_Rapunzel looked over at him, seeing him leaning his head back against the tree with his eyes closed, his breathing even but not deep. She knew he liked her, Peter had told her she made Felix act unusual - though he normally said it mockingly. She could barely see him, only an outline of his features; it gave her courage. It gave her a courage she wouldn't have had if it weren't so dim and still, a courage Felix would never have allowed himself. She took his face in her hands and pulled his mouth to hers, feeling his sharp intake of breath in surprise and then his sigh as he wrapped his arms around her._

* * *

Cami had left the moment everyone's eyes had been on the jungle, inching her way back silently before turning and making her way down the cliff; her feet finding the notches in the rock as she took the faster way down. It was like riding a bike, as the saying goes, though Cami had never had a bike to learn to ride. Either way her feet hit the ground and she turned in the direction of one of her favorite places. Her and Felix went to this place often when they wanted to be alone, it was thick with trees and hard to find let alone to get into unless you knew where to climb through. And once inside there was a small space to walk around in, dark and warm from the way the branches of the trees twisted together to mask the sky from view.

It was a ten minute walk to get there, climbing up and down and through thickets - it had been years since she'd had to endure the forest, and she was out of breath when she finally got there. She collected dry brush and set about making a fire, knowing only the tiniest bit of smoke would seep through the branches of the trees above - it would look to anyone else like fog, or a cloud. But he'd know what it was, if he was looking. If there was one place for him to look for a signal that she'd come back it would be this one; that's how often they came here, normally staying all night laying together in the small clearing, their clothes more often than not strewn about. This was the place they were happiest, and she could only hope he had been waiting for her; which left her with the coldest of fears as the minutes ticked by, her hope waning.

* * *

_"Where is it you're going?" Peter asked the next morning, standing over her as she packed a small satchel with enough food to last her til tomorrow morning. _

_"Exploring," she answered simply, hiding her smile as she reached for the largest portions - enough to share. "I'm looking for a better place to watch the sun rise, I won't know if I've found it until tomorrow." She stood and gave him a small smile, putting the bag over her shoulder. "I'll be careful I promise," she assured him before making her way out of the camp. _

_He watched her leave, his eyes narrowed as he thought of what she was really doing - though in all truth she did often leave to explore anyway, though he always sent Felix after her whether she knew or not. "Go with her," he told Felix, watching him give a curt nod before the other boy followed after. _

_Felix caught up easily to her smaller strides, taking the bag from her and carrying it on his own shoulders as they walked quietly side by side. It was a long walk to where they were going, their camp and the hidden clearing on opposite sides of the jungle, but they made it there before noon. He pushed aside the vines for her to walk through before following after, dropping his club and the bag on the ground before grabbing her. He felt her smiling against his mouth, felt his own smile before he dedicated the use of his lips to kissing her. _

* * *

It wasn't until fifteen minutes later when she heard someone walking directly to her, throwing away all pretense of stealth in the way only a blindly hopeful person would. And branches and vines were thrust aside as he forced his way into the circle, his breathing thick and heavy as his lungs were assaulted with smoke, his eyes piercing through the haze to find her. His face was as she remembered, not even a day older and just as handsome.

"Hey Felix," she said softly, seeing the shock and disbelief in his eyes as he stared at her. His club fell to the ground with a loud thud as he rushed to her.

* * *

**_Okay so I know I'm horrible for leaving it there, but I thought it was kind of necessary to show how Emma reacted to Cami disappearing for the first time - and that took longer than I thought it would. So the reuinion will be next chapter, and I'm super excited for it cause I've had the scene in my head since I started this story. So I hope no one is super mad at me for leaving it right as he saw her again, but rest assured the next chapter will be up within the next two days. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, they make my day reading them; and as always, thank you all for reading. _**


	13. tonight, see the world with me

He held her head in his hands, staring at her as though it were impossible she were there. He didn't know how long she'd been gone, he'd never been good with keeping time - but he'd been watching for her everyday since she'd left. He thought he hated her, hated her for leaving him, hated her for how long it'd taken her to come back, hated her for making him love her; but standing there, feeling her against him, there wasn't a single ounce of hatred in him. She barely looked older than when he last saw her. Trailing his hands down her body he noticed the swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips, other than her eyes he could barely spot a difference. She was his Rapunzel.

Her fists clenched his shirt tight, afraid if she let him go she'd lose him. For what seemed like the first time in thirty years, feeling his hands holding her, she felt like she could finally breathe. He even smelled the same, and she buried her head in the crook of his neck and breathed him in; sighing as a rush of warmth filled her. They stood for some time wound in each other's arms, their hearts beating together, their breathing in sync, smoke swirling around them clouding their minds.

She felt his hand on the back of her head, winding his fingers through her hair. He pulled it roughly arching her neck, forcing his mouth on hers - though she offered no resistance, instead she melted against him. As though this, this was what she was made for. He pushed her against a tree, pulling himself closer as though to crawl under her skin; tightening his fist in her hair when he heard her soft moan moan muffled beneath his mouth. She felt his need, she felt the years he'd been yearning for her. And as quick as it happened he pushed her away.

This was the face she had thought she'd see; the one where his eyes were dark with fury, his mouth a tight scowl; it was what she deserved after helping Bae leave - when Felix had specifically told her to stay away from the boy, and she'd refused to listen. "Felix?" she asked softly, hearing his breathing deepen as his hands clenched into fists.

"You came with them," he said, no need to question what he already knew. He laughed bitterly when she offered no defense, seeing on her face all he needed to. "Are we so easy to turn against?"

It wasn't the question that hurt her, it was his voice - so raw with the pain of not understanding - it was his face, staring at her so hopelessly as if he hardly knew her. "No," she swore, feeling tears burning behind her eyes. They weren't, and that was the problem - because it was Henry Pan had wanted, and it was Regina who was trying to get him back. None of this was easy, and she wished he could see that.

"Then come with me," he said stepping forward, cornering her against a tree, "this moment, no looking back."

She knew what he was asking, knew the answer he wanted; he wanted to know that were no doubts, that she was with him as she always had been. He wanted to look at her and be able to trust she wouldn't leave him again. "I," she started, her voice caught in her throat.

But he knew what she'd been about to say anyway, and he turned with a hateful grin.

"Felix, you don't understand," she said hearing the desperation creeping into her voice, trying to call him back.

"What am I not understanding?" he asked venomously, trying to hurt her more than she was hurting him. "How long do you think I'll wait until you finally choose me?" He moved closer, his hands wrapping around her arms too tight not to leave bruises. He waited for her to say something, to deny what he saying - because it meant she wanted to choose him. But she said nothing, and he knew it was because someone in that party meant something to her - meant more to her than wanting to stay with him. He stepped back from her, releasing her arms and glaring at her savagely. He could see he was hurting her, and he'd always hated when he did because she never deserved it. "You don't get to cry," he told her furiously, seeing the tears shining in her eyes; this time she deserved it, even if he did want to hold her and swear he'd forgiven her because he knew in the end she'd come back to him. But he didn't, instead he picked up his club and threw dirt over the fire before leaving her - leaving her before she broke down into sobs, which he knew would make him go back to her. So he continued on his way, forcing himself to take another step when everything inside him was screaming for him to go back.

...

Emma looked up sharply from where she was gathering berries when she heard someone walking toward her, grabbing her sword waiting to charge at whoever it was. Her muscles relaxed when she saw Cami's blonde head, anger filling the place of anticipation. She opened her mouth to yell at the girl, to accuse her of turning her back on them, to demand to know exactly where she'd gone who she'd met and what was said. But Cami brushed past her, barely seeing her as she walked in a numb haze. Emma watched as Cami walked into their camp and laid down at the edge of it, curling herself in a small ball without saying a word.

"Ms Swan," Hook said grabbing her arm, knowing Emma was upset with the girl but knowing Rapunzel was just as, if not more, upset.

Emma jerked her arm out of his grasp, glaring dangerously at him before kneeling beside Cami; fully prepared to give her a piece of her mind if not demand she leave their camp immediately - not willing to risk Henry's safety and their chance of getting him back for Cami to sneak around with her boyfriend. It wasn't until she looked at Cami's face, seeing her knitted brows and the tears slipping out of the corner of her eyes, that Emma understood what had happened. Neal had said that Felix hated her, and that he was the reason why - suddenly Emma wasn't so sure Cami had wanted to come back. And even more so now when she was with the group trying to take what Pan wanted; she would be seen as an enemy. Cami was sacrificing possibly everything to help them get Henry back.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow," Emma said quietly when she brushed past Hook.

He looked after her a moment before turning back to Rapunzel, sighing before draping a blanket over her small form. There was nothing to be said, he knew that, nothing in the world that could possibly make her feel better. And so he was left with nothing else to do but to lay down beside her, close enough to touch but not touching her at all. Offering her as much comfort as he could, though he knew it would never be enough.

...

"Where did you go running off to?" Pan asked when Felix returned. "What is it?" he asked when he saw the other boy's pale face.

Felix looked at the trees in front of them, trying to push her out of his mind. "She's back."

Pan turned to him surprised, his brows raised and a half smile on his face. "She's not really with them," he said after a few moments.

"What do you mean?" Felix asked calmly, though inside he was nearly quivering with anxiety.

Pan smiled fondly, knowing Felix was dying inside. "If she really wanted to help them get Henry back she wouldn't have called for you," he answered, looking over his shoulder at the boy sitting a ways away. "She's still ours."

Felix looked at him, his brows drawn together; he wanted to believe it, more than anything. "How can be so sure?" he asked, hoping for an answer that would give him some peace of mind.

He looked at Felix, knowing he loved her, knowing he was angry and hurt at her leaving, knowing he was afraid she'd leave again. "Because the first thing she did when she got here was call for you," he explained, watching Felix turn away to hide the emotion in his eyes. "The real question isn't whether she's still our lost girl," he said looking out at the trees smiling. "It's how long it will take before she leaves them and comes back to us."

Felix nodded though he still didn't understand; she should have come with him, she should've been there standing next to him at that moment. "There's more," he said softly.

"We need to know what she's been doing for thirty years," Pan said agreeing, surprising Felix with the knowledge of how long she'd been gone. It had only been thirty years, it'd felt like an eternity; and she hardly looked older. "Go to her tomorrow, find out what happened. Forgive her," Pan said staring hard at Felix. "She won't come back if you don't."

It was several moments of silence before Felix agreed, knowing he'd have to apologize for what he'd already said. "Oh and Felix," Pan said getting his attention. "Keep her happy. It'll make leaving them easier on her poor gentle heart."

* * *

**_Okay, so I know not much happened in this chapter and that it was kind of short but that's for two reasons; one, I don't want to catch up to the show quite yet or else I won't be able to write until the next episode, as well as I need more episodes to fully develop the next few chapters - cause we don't have a lot of info on Pan (don't wanna spoil anything, but we don't have much on him still beside last episode) and Felix and Neverland in general. So I'm probably not going to be updating as often, and I'm going to try to add in lengthier flashbacks to kind of counteract slowing the pace down. I hope this doesn't bother anyone too much, I'm trying to avoid completely catching up to where the show is - and we have two weeks til a new episode. _**


	14. The stars the moon

Cami woke with the rest of them, the sun not even peeking its head over the horizon so early it was; her eyes heavy and sore from crying. Mary Margaret and David went off to look for signs of Pan after Emma told them all he'd visited her, and the rest now sat and stared at Emma as she held the map in her hands. Cami had thought she'd been dreaming, feeling a hand gently running through her hair for a few seconds before it'd been gone; now she wasn't so sure.

"He so likes his games," Hook said unhappy Pan had gotten close to Emma, and even more unhappy that they didn't even know how to play.

"What game" Regina demanded irritably, "there's nothing there?"

"If he said there's a map on this parchment then there is," Hook said looking at Rapunzel briefly, they both knew Pan was the most honest when he was being deceitful.

"Yeah if I stop denying who I really am, whatever that means, then we'll be able to read this thing," Emma said staring ruefully at the map, wishing it would just show her where Henry was – thinking of all the possible things she was.

Cami knew it wouldn't be so easy, Pan didn't do easy – he did hard, unable to bear what you would find. That was his fun, watching a person unravel. Emma didn't know any better to not heed his task lightly; whatever it was Pan wanted her to admit about herself, it wouldn't be easy.

"How do we know Pan won't use it to lead us to a trap?" Regina asked, always the hopeful one.

To this Hook stood, knowing Pan more than any of them save Rapunzel. "He doesn't need to, this whole island's his bloody trap."

Cami almost smiled, because it was true – at least for those Pan thought an enemy, which Hook had almost always been.

"There's no sign of him anywhere," David said when they returned. "Any luck with the map?" was the first thing Mary Margaret asked.

Regina turned to Emma bitterly. "Don't hold your breath."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emma asked indignantly.

Cami sighed and slumped against a tree, rolling her eyes at them; they could never get along and agree on something, ever. She was starting to envy Henry's position, at least he didn't have to listen to them argue day and night. She looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder, seeing Hook looking down at her strangely. It was then she heard the deliberate snapping of a twig, the sound of one being broken in a person's hands rather than beneath their foot. He gave her a small nod before dropping his hand to his side, almost returning the small smile she gave him before she quietly stepped away from the group who wasn't paying either of them a bit of mind.

It was unfortunate she was leaving them then, one of the only people Regina would have listened to if she'd said using magic was off limits; Rapunzel knew Pan's rules, magic was cheating. But Cami was already out of their camp and following the sound of Felix calling for her; like a moth to a flame, no matter how it hurt to be burned.

…

"Are you kidding me?" Emma asked in disbelief when she looked around to see Cami gone again. "We're not seriously okay with this, are we?" she demanded looking at Hook, who could do no more than shrug.

"She came back last night," Mary Margaret offered gently, not any happier with the girl being gone than her daughter.

Emma turned to her with wide eyes. "You say that like it makes her leaving okay," she challenged, losing hope in there actually being a map after staring at the white paper for so long.

"How did we not notice it?" Regina asked, trying not to let her suspicions rule her head at the moment. "She was standing right there," she said pointing to a space near her where Cami had been no more than ten minutes ago.

"Emma, sweetheart," Mary Margaret said when she saw her daughter's jaw clench, "we'll talk to her when she gets back.

"And when will that be?" Emma asked outraged. "She's off gallivanting with her boyfriend while my son is out there."

"Emma," David said firmly. "We don't know where she is, we can't go looking for her and even if we did I doubt the boy would just let her go. We'll wait," he said sounding very must like her father. "We still have to figure out the map."

She didn't want to agree, she wanted to go find Cami and drag her back here by her pretty blonde hair. But that wasn't an option, and so she forced herself to sit and stare at the blank parchment hoping against hope it would show the map she was further and further away from believe was actually there.

…

"I was wondering if you'd come," Felix said when she stepped into view, having been leading her away from her group, thinking she might have given up earlier.

She stood a little away from him with her arms crossed waiting, as though she could hold herself together if he tore her apart. "You gonna yell at me again?" she asked looking at her feet as she scuffed the dirt.

He looked closely at her, seeing the differences in her more now than he had before. "Now why would I do that?" he asked, knowing his tone would grate on her nerves.

"I don't know, Felix. Why would you yell at me?" she asked sounding more defeated than angry.

He stared at her closely, not liking the way she now spoke – she sounded as though he was being unjust in his anger, as though she had done nothing wrong. He knew he was supposed to forgive her, to make it so it wasn't even a choice to come back to them; but there was something in him that was calloused to her. "You shouldn't have left," he said venomously, watching the shock register like a blow on her face.

"You told me to leave," she cried, feelings tears swelling and trying to push them down.

"You should have known I didn't want you to," he yelled pointing a finger at her, losing the hold he had on control as only she could make him do.

She stared at him as though he'd grown another head. "How was I supposed to know that, you said you didn't want me here anymore."

He shook his head, remembering his words. "You should have known," he told her, and she should have.

_Felix took her away from the group, something Pan had said echoing in his mind; "You never know with Rapunzel, she doesn't always know what side to chose." He couldn't even remember why Pan had said it, only that now he couldn't stop thinking about her – and Baelfire. _

"_What did you want to talk about?" she asked when he stopped walking, looking at him unprepared for what he'd say next. _

_It almost made him change his mind, to kiss her instead and refuse to ask as he had been doing for years. Almost. "Baelfire," he said simply, letting her decide what she'd say. She was quiet for several minutes, he could see she was trying to think past the shock. "What do you want to know?" _

_That was the wrong thing to say, because it meant there was more, and instantly all guards were up. "Were you ever planning to tell me you helped him leave?" _

_Her shoulders slumped. What could she say, that she'd been afraid he'd turn against her – she knew that wouldn't sit well with him. "He wasn't happy here," she offered as a means of defense, though Felix wasn't sure if she was defending herself or if she were defending Baelfire. "He wanted to leave,"_

"_No one leaves without Pan's permission," Felix said before she even finished. "You knew how this would be seen. It was a betrayal." _

_She opened her mouth to respond but was left with no words to give him. And her silence was all he needed to know she knew full what she'd been doing, something that hurt him the most. Suddenly he didn't think he knew her anymore, staring at her it was almost like he didn't know her face. And so he stepped back, doing what he always did when he couldn't take anymore. _

"_You sure it was because he wanted to leave," he said bitterly, a cruel smirk slashed on his mouth, "or maybe that's what you want." He could see the hurt painted heavily on her face, but instead of reaching for her as he knew he should he continued to step back. "I'll make this simple for you Rapunzel," he told her, "_I_ want you to leave. You don't belong here anymore." _

_Those were the last words he said to her, terrible words he regretted – they sent her away, that was the last night he saw her. And he hated himself for saying them day after day for thirty years. _

The two were left staring at each other, both as tired of fighting as they were prepared to continue.

"I love you," she said softly, allowing the tears she'd been holding back to swell in her eyes as she stepped closer to him. "I love you," she told him louder, grabbing his shirt in her small fists.

He stared in her blue eyes, seeing the hurt and the fear and that she did love him. This was the part where he was supposed to say it back, where he wrapped his arms around her and swore he'd love her forever like he knew she would. But he didn't.

She waited, she waited many long quiet minutes to which he barely even blinked. "Why can't you say it?"

Everything he needed to know was heard in her broken voice. And he realized she hadn't known he didn't want her to leave, that he didn't mean what he said. He didn't even know if she knew he loved her, that he just couldn't say it – she used to, but she didn't look like she knew anymore. And then he was faced with the fact that her leaving had been entirely his fault, because he'd told her to leave but he'd never once told her how much he cared about her.

And yet he still couldn't say anything, and so defeated she unclenched her hands and let him go - the last bits of her shattered heart crumbling until there was nothing left. She was stilled by his hands on her wrists, holding onto her.

He couldn't let her go, he wouldn't get her back if he did. Her eyes drowned in tears as he pulled her closer, her chin quiver as she shook her head. She knew what would happen, he'd kiss her and she'd let him do anything he wanted – let him make her want them too. It wouldn't matter whether he loved her or not, she loved him too much. As she knew he would do, he kissed her – though his gentleness surprised her. And despite herself she just about completely melted in his arms; thirty years had made her forget. He did love her. Even when he was angry, even though he could never say it – he loved her.


	15. they have all been blown out

They laid quietly together on the forest floor, their clothes forgotten around them as they breathed in the cool air of dawn. She could just barely hear the faint thump of his heart below her ear, his hand warm against her skin as he ran it along her back.

"Why now?" he asked softly. "Why come back now?"

She sighed at his question, wishing to have stayed in silence rather than to fight again; but his voice was light, free of accusation. "The opportunity arose," she answered simply, knowing it was not enough but not knowing exactly what he wanted in order to answer.

"Did it not thirty years ago?" he asked, his hand stilling on her waist as he waited for her answer – exposing the real question he was asking; why she hadn't come back sooner.

That was a question she could answer, and it really wasn't a very hard one for her to say. "I didn't know myself."

"What do you mean?" he asked looking down his chest at her, meeting her sweet blue eyes for what felt like the first time since she'd returned.

She could see the piqued interest in his eyes, the need to know why she'd chosen to stay away for so long, as well as why she only looked two years older at most. "Well," she said holding herself up on her arm so that she could look down at him, "Regina, the evil queen," she added when she saw his confusion, "found me some time after I returned to my tower and she took me to stay with her. That accounts for one year of my life."

He brushed the hair away from her face, seeing much of her youthfulness had gone; she was a budding woman, no more a sweet girl than he was a gentle boy. "What of the others?"

She smiled at his hand on her cheek. "Regina cast a curse, that's how we got to Storybrook, everyone in the Enchanted Forest forgot themselves and their lives before. We were stuck timeless for twenty-eight years, until the Savior, that's Emma the other blonde," she said rolling her eyes, "broke it. And then we remembered who we were, and a lot happened after that, now I'm here." She looked at him when she finished, feeling his thumb running along her jaw.

He laid quietly as he thought, his eyes roaming over her beautiful face. It made sense, where she'd been, why she hadn't aged much, and why she hadn't come back until now – she hadn't even known there was a place for her to come back to. "What was your name?"

"Cami," she said, hearing then just how wrong that sounded – she would only ever be Rapunzel here, to him.

He wrapped his arms around her when she laid back down, reveling in the feel of holding her again. "Why that name?" he asked. It was too short, too hard of a sound, it didn't suit her.

She smiled slightly. "Campanula Rapunculus," she answered, having read it in a book, "the Rapunzel flower."

"How ironic," he said amused, feeling her fingers tracing patterns on his chest. "Surprising you didn't figure it out from that."

Her smile grew. "I was a little thick-headed as Cami," she admitted, remembering how many times Henry had tried to convince her she was Rapunzel – showing her the signs and the proof.

"You were a little thick-headed as Rapunzel too," he told her making her laugh, and he laughed lightly along with her.

She had been stubborn, doing things just because he told her not to simply because she wanted to: a girl previously without rules suddenly getting them, she'd tended not to listen. Though she had always known when she should, especially if it meant she'd get hurt, which is why he'd never minded her going against what he'd tell her. These were fond memories, ones she hadn't known how great and achingly she had been missing.

She sat up again, curling her legs beneath her as he too made to sit. "I remembered you," she admitted quietly.

His eyes, which had been roaming over her chest, snapped to her face. "What?" he asked confused, her having told him she hadn't remembered anything of her past.

She didn't seem to notice the suspicion creep into his eyes, she was hardly looking at him at all. "I dreamt of you every night. I called out for you." He watched her closely, seeing her brows knitted as she thought, seeing her shrug finally before her face cleared. "Your name never really felt like Felix though, at least not until I remembered."

His eyes were clear of suspicion when she looked at him, clear of accusation and non belief. They were soft, gentle as they stared back at her. She'd known him, even when she didn't know herself – that was the most amazing thing to him. He couldn't have been stopped from kissing her if someone had held him back. Leaving hadn't been easy for her, that's what he'd needed to know – if it had hurt her as much as it had hurt him. And it had, it hurt her even when she didn't know why.

The sun slowly crept along the horizon and he reluctantly pulled away, wishing more than anything Pan would let her come back with him. "I have to go," he sighed, wanting to stay.

Her face was soft as she smiled gently, knowing he had to go and knowing she was not allowed to go with him: at least not yet. "Will you come back?" she asked, taking his hand as he pulled them to their feet.

With a grin he pulled her closer. "As soon as I can," he swore to her. He'd leave and go see what Pan needed and then call her again if he could, he never wanted to be without her – all anger, all hurt and betrayal was gone now. Now all he wanted was to stay. But Pan would come looking for him if he didn't go back, which left them nothing but to put their clothes back on and part ways.

"They've gotten bigger, you know," he said slyly as he watched her do the clasps to whatever she was covering her breasts with.

She looked at him wonderingly until she understood, and she laughed rolling her eyes. "I'm very aware," she told him, looking up when he stepped to her.

He felt the smooth fabric of it beneath his hands. "What is this?" he asked, liking it better when it was off; though in all fairness he liked her wearing nothing.

"It's a bra," she answered, forgetting how different Storybrook was from Neverland. "You have to go," she told him softly, seeing on his face he wanted to take it off her.

And he did. Though he also knew she was right, and he forced himself to step back and pull on his clothes before they were left with leaving. He didn't want to say goodbye, or to give her another promise he'd return soon. And so he turned and left, hearing as she did the same.

It wasn't long before he made it back to their camp, seeing Pan sitting away from the others waiting for him. "I assume you have forgiven her," he said when Felix stopped beside him, knowing the answer was yes from the hours he'd been gone.

"I never could stay mad at her," Felix remarked, holding his tongue on why it had taken Rapunzel so long to come back – thinking it should stay between him and her.

Pan smiled nodding. "That you couldn't," he agreed, knowing she'd said something to have brought such peace back to Felix's face. Though the other boy certainly wasn't talking. "Well," he said standing, "go fetch her away from the others again."

Felix looked to Pan surprised, wondering what he was planning now. "What for, might I ask?"

He turned hardened eyes to Felix, seeing he was just as protective as before. "Emma has broken my rules, unless you would like our dearest Rapunzel caught in the middle I suggest you find a way to keep her away from them," he said curtly before standing, looking to Henry with an idea in mind.

…

"They are not happy with you," Hook whispered the moment he saw her, having staid more toward the back for when she returned. "You can't keep running off."

Cami looked up at him confused; it wasn't their decision to make, nor was it any of their business. She opened her mouth to respond when an angry voice cut her off.

"There you are," Emma exclaimed when she turned to look at Hook to find Cami. "No more running off you're sticking with us," she demanded.

"Excuse me?" Cami asked dangerously. "Last time I checked you had no authority over me," she challenged.

"But I do."

Cami turned to Regina surprised, seeing not just anger but pleading in her dark eyes. "Would you make me?" she asked quietly, not thinking she would.

Regina stared at her, holding the map in place. "If I had to," she answered honestly.

It was the wrong answer, she'd do anything for Henry even if it was at Cami's expense. It made Cami wonder why Emma had really allowed her to come, why any of them had allowed her to; she didn't like the answer she found. She felt used, betrayed, and she found that she didn't want to stay with them anymore – not when Emma and Regina were looking at her in the same irritated way as though she were no more than a bug they wanted to bat away.

She was saved from responding by the sound of a deliberately broken stick, alerting them all to who it was. "You choose now," Emma told her, already unhappy they were using magic on the map and that nothing she'd done had actually worked, "it's them or us."

Cami was left with them all staring at her, feeling even Felix's eyes from somewhere in the forest. They were all waiting for her to give an answer she wasn't sure they were ready for.

"Cami," Regina said nearly pleading.

But Emma was done waiting. "Fine, I'll make the decision for you,"

"Emma," Mary Margaret's stern voice sounded, cutting her off. She turned to the girl with kind eyes. "Go," she said gently, "come back when you're done." Emma looked at Mary Margaret as though the other woman had grown another head, but in truth no one believed in true love as much as Snow White; and that's exactly what she saw on Cami's face.

She looked at Regina, seeing her eyes grow sad before she looked away defeated. Cami turned to see Emma hard eyes waiting for her to leave, almost daring her to, and it was one at the moment she was happy to accept. With a roll of her eyes she left them once more, taking refugee from Emma's heated gaze in the thick trees.

Felix didn't say anything when she found him, instead he turned on his heel and walked further away from the group expecting her to be following. She stopped when he did, knowing he shouldn't have come back so soon, which meant Pan wanted something.

"What is it?" she asked when he turned to her.

It was her trust in him that he counted on, knowing she wouldn't see it coming: and knowing she'd be furious later. But it's what needed to be done, if the boys saw her standing alongside the group they'd never forgive her – and there were so many who missed her, who'd willingly take her back. Like Devin, who stood silently behind her.

She wasn't expecting it, would never have expected it. She stared at Felix waiting, not even having a chance to understand before a hand wrapped around her mouth and a warm liquid was being forced down her throat. Felix watched her wide eyes grow dazed as the sedative Pan had concocted began taking effect, his arms wrapping around her as her body went limp. They'd be back to being angry at one another when she woke, a thought that made him regret listening to Pan and removing her before they attacked; and he was left with nothing else to do but lower her gently on the ground before standing.

"So she's back?" Devin asked, Felix having told him as they walked to where she was: making him the only other lost boy who knew she was here.

Felix looked up at him with hard eyes. "Almost," he told him shortly, motioning for him to move. With a last look at her now sleeping face Felix stood and left her.


	16. you've left me in the dark

**_Hannah: I did see the new episode, there was so much Felix in it! I have a lot of ideas running around and I can't wait to get to them. _**

**_LoonyLucy: I think that's a fair question. I personally don't think it's possible to get pregnant in Neverland, because since people don't age then to me that means that time stands still - at least for the human body. Therefore Rapunzel's body wouldn't be going through any of the cycles that could result in a baby._**

* * *

She felt as though she were literally tearing her eyes open when she slowly awoke, blinking a few times before the trees above her stopped swirling. No matter how she swallowed she couldn't make the feeling of a cotton ball in her mouth go away.

"Ah, good, you're awake."

Taking Pan's hand he gently helped her to her feet, holding onto her as she steadied herself. "You told him to knock me out," she said knowing without him saying anything it was true. If Pan asked for anything Felix would do it, hardly any questions asked: it was something that always bothered her, worried her that if asked Felix might turn against her.

Pan smirked. "Not exactly. I told him to keep you out of things last night, he came up with the idea," he said pleasantly, releasing her to step back and take her in. "The years have done you well."

"What do you mean things last night?" she asked not letting him change the subject. "What did you do?"

Pan looked at her feigning innocence. "I didn't do anything. Emma was the one who broke the rules."

Cami looked at him warily before stepping away from him, wondering what he had done to the others.

"You still have a choice to make," he said forcing her to still, even then after so many years she still followed him blindly. "Them or us, I think is how Emma put it. The problem is," he said quietly as he stepped closer to her, taking her arms in his hand, "you're afraid to tell them you choose us. And that's okay," he soothed brushing her hair behind her ears, "you were always too nice to hurt people's feelings." He stood staring at her waiting for her to say something, seeing in her eyes she was thinking. "I know you Rapunzel," he told her with a smile, "you'll choose us."

"How do you know?" she whispered, not even sure herself.

He smiled gently, trying for kindness. "Because you love Felix," he told her simply, and it was true that that made all the difference in the world. "As well as us. We're your family, Rapunzel. Come home, we've missed you." Looking in her eyes he could tell he was winning her over, forcing her to remember how happy she had once been with them. "I can see you need more time," he said cheerfully, pretending to not mind at all that she'd still yet to even look like she knew what she wanted. "I'll come back later and ask."

She watched motionless and confused as he smiled, not seeing how false it was: letting him fool her into thinking he was still a nice boy who cared for her.

"Oh and Rapunzel," he said before he forgot, "don't be too angry with Felix. He was only trying to keep you out of harms way." He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before turning from her. "I will see you soon," he promised, disappearing with a happy smile.

He was so sure she would eventually choose them, so sure that she was still the girl who needed them because she'd never had anyone else. But that was the problem, she wasn't Rapunzel anymore, not really: she was Cami, and there were a lot of people in Storybrooke who cared for her as well. People Cami hadn't even realized cared, and even more that she cared about them. And of course there was Regina, who had done her best to care for her – something that was more difficult than Cami had realized. Somehow, with Cami's memories overshadowing Rapunzel's, Neverland didn't feel like home anymore.

She walked back toward where they had been the night before, going at an angle so to come across the newer tracks they'd made that day – not knowing how far they could have gotten while she was asleep. In all truth, once she found their path they were quite easy to find; they were talking, and not quietly, nor were they moving.

"There you are," Regina said when she saw her, having been worriedly keeping an eye out for her; afraid she was being held as a captive for them, or worse that she had left them completely. "You look awful, are you alright," she asked placing her hand on Cami's forehead.

She nodded. "Yeah, Felix knocked me out," she answered, not realizing how pale she was. "What happened last night, you're all alright?" she asked turning to look at them all.

"A few close calls but we're all fine," Mary Margaret answered, David standing behind her with a strange look in his eye

Cami breathed a sigh of relief, not realizing how worried she'd been; she'd seen the boys' ruthlessness first hand, she knew what had been at stake. "Good. Why did they attack you guys?" she asked, not knowing what rule Emma had broken.

Mary Margaret turned to Regina. "We used magic," she said, her voice taking on a hard edge, causing Regina to turn her eyes to the sky and sigh.

"Okay," Cami said slowly trying to ease away from that can of worms. "So I'm guessing Emma figured out who she is, we know where the camp is now right?"

"Not exactly," Regina said irritably, wiping the sweat off of her from how it was now that they were hiking endless.

"Pan's moving the camp," Hook explained for her, giving her a small nod when she turned to him.

"So this whole trek has been for nothing," Emma said, her voice layered with hopelessness. Cami saw then that was why she had been so quiet, normally having yelled at her the moment she returned.

"I told you walking was idiotic," Regina said with a biting tone, causing Cami to sigh at another fight between them. "If we could just use some magic we could materialize in the camp and grab Henry." It made the most sense to her, it's what she would do if she weren't stuck with the Charmings and their even more annoying daughter.

But it wasn't the most sensible plan. "We don't even know where the camp is, have you even been listening?" Mary Margaret asked, knowing doing that spell was dangerous if they didn't know where they were going – something Regina should have known.

"Pan will have shields against such magic, I fear such an attempt would end in your death or more importantly, mine. Which is why we're walking."

Cami rolled her eyes completely exhausted by everything, and she moved to sit heavily on the ground until they came up with a plan.

Regina resisted the urge to fling him away from her. "Well then what's your idea? How are we going to find it?"

Hook thought a moment, a plan half formed already in his mind. "By using someone he trusts," he said, causing the others to turn to Cami.

She raised her hands in surrender. "I came here with you guys, it's way past the time for trust," she told them, admitting that Pan nor the others trusted her because she was with them.

"Then who?" David asked turning to Hook. "I'm guessing he certainly doesn't trust you."

Hook turned to him sharply. "The fairy who lived here when I was about," he answered. "She might still be on the island. She could be an inside source," he said looking down to see Rapunzel's bright eyes, "knows all about the camp, and can get us in." They were all watching Hook hoping against hope this would be their plan. "She might even have some pixie dust left, perhaps we could fly in."

"You mean fairy dust," Emma corrected looking at him, trying not to hope when they kept getting disappointed.

"No," David said, "pixie dust. It's stronger, like nuclear fairy dust."

"Wait," Emma said, a memory forcing its way to the surface, "a fairy?" she thought for a moment, "Tinkerbell?"

Hook looked to her confused. "You know her?" he asked wondering if that were possible: as far as he knew himself and Rapunzel were the only two who did.

"Every kid in the world," she rolled her eyes at thoughts of the fairytale story, "knows her."

Cami stood. "Well I'm for it," she said, a small smile etched on her mouth. They all turned to her surprised, her never seeming to care what they did one way or another. "I haven't seen her in a while," she said uncomfortably under all their stares.

"You know Tinker bell?" Emma asked incredulously. "Course you did," she said shaking her head, wondering why anything surprised her anymore.

"It's a bad idea," Regina said suddenly, having been quiet for several minutes now. "Mark my words," she assured Emma upon seeing the look on her face, "this Tinker bell is not going to save us."

Cami looked at Regina confused, her brows knitted as she thought. "Do you have a better idea?" Emma asked, seeing this was the best they'd come up with yet. She turned to Hook when Regina looked away. "Lead the way."

He nodded. "Come on Rapunzel," he called, "you know the way better than I."

She looked to Regina, seeing the resistance and worry in her eyes; but it was their only plan, and it left her with little else than to walk beside Hook as they lead the way.

* * *

"_Felix," Pan called walking to him, looking around him as though someone was going to charge into their camp. "Someone's here that shouldn't be," he said quietly, pulling Felix away from the others. "Take Ruffio and two others and find this person." _

_He nodded before swinging his club over his shoulders and standing to get the others. _

"_Wait," Pan said stilling him, looking around at his boys. "Where's Rapunzel?"_

_Felix looked at every face in the camp searching for hers, a chill creeping into his chest when he didn't find her. "This is not the day to wander off," he mumbled to himself, looking through every boy again hoping to see her face. He stood staring hopelessly at the camp, not finding her anywhere, feeling anger boiling in the pit of his stomach. _

"_She'll return before supper, we will worry if she's not back then," Pan offered squeezing his shoulder. It was all they could do, she wouldn't be found if she didn't want to be and Felix didn't know where to start looking – and Pan hadn't told him to find her, so all he could do was worry._

…

_Rapunzel hadn't wandered away, in fact she had purposefully left the camp to go find the person who had just arrived: having seen them fall to the forest floor. She could hear them cursing loudly as they walked around, their movements clumsy and unused to such thick greenery. Inching closer Rapunzel peeked out from behind a tree to see who it was, and how it was they got to Neverland – not realizing what she really wanted to know was if there was a way off, besides the one she and Bae had come up with. What Rapunzel was met with was a very upset woman with messy blonde hair and a torn green dress as she trampled through the trees. _

"_Be careful," she called, covering her mouth the moment she did at how incredibly stupid that had been; especially when the woman turned and saw her. "That's dreamshade," she said stepping out from behind the tree and pointing to the bush of thorns. "It's a poison." _

_The woman looked to the thorns and then back at the girl in the dirty brown pants and shirt, obviously scared at not knowing where she was. "Who are you?" she asked, feeling more vulnerable than she ever had – no way of defending herself, especially now. _

"_Rapunzel," she answered gently, taking off her cloak and offering it to the woman. "What's your name?"_

"_I'm Tinker Bell."_

* * *

**_Two things about this chapter: one, I know not much happened in this one but scenes took a lot longer than I thought they would. But next chapter will have flashbacks and Cami talking about her past, so I hope it makes up for this one. _**

**_Two, I don't like the timeline on the show that they gave Tinker Bell; it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Because Tink knew Regina when Regina was like 25-30 years old which would leave about 5-10 years for her to find her way to Neverland before the curse. And yet Tink and Hook knew each other, but if Hook was to look as young as he does that means he needed to leave Neverland more than 28 years before the show starts so that he can be in the Enchanted Forest for the curse (cause remember, he does stuff for Regina and Cora before the curse and after Neverland). Which would make it so Hook and Tink probably never crossed paths; so they wouldn't really know each other like the show says they do. And then there's Wendy knowing Tink, which it seemed to me that Wendy was in the cage the whole time (she was still in a nightgown), which Neal is roughly 200 so that makes Wendy the same age. So Tink and Wendy wouldn't have met - cause I doubt Tink wouldn't notice Wendy going missing, and if she did see her in the cage I don't think a fairy would be at all okay with that. I don't know though, there are a lot of contradictions in the show; but I'm saying that Tink got to Neverland about 5-10 years before Rapunzel left; which is 30 years of her being there. _**


	17. no dawn, no day

**_LoonyLucy: thank you so much, I'm really glad to hear that you like the conviction I've given her of being more Cami than Rapunzel now - it definitely leaves her not knowing who to chose; or at least unable to admit it. Though she does technically make a choice this chapter. And yes, they will get all M on her bed - that's something I've been thinking about since last episode. And don't worry, I have a filthy mind when it comes to these two. To the point I would actually do a M rated scene for them._**

* * *

_Felix was on his feet and charging the moment he saw Rapunzel's golden hair, grabbing her arm and pulling her back into the forest so they could talk in private. "What?" she asked when they stopped, rubbing the place his hand had been. _

_He looked down at her in disbelief, not thinking it possible she didn't know what she'd done wrong. "You wandered off." _

_She stared at him waiting for more, growing confused when he said nothing. "I wander off all the time," she said slowly, not understanding why he was so upset: unless of course he knew there was a new person in Neverland. _

_Lo and behold he did know. "Someone's just arrived here, I've been worried about you all day." _

_It was then she saw behind his mask anger, seeing he truly had been worried. "I'm sorry, I didn't," _

"_You didn't what?" Felix interrupted, his voice hard and his eyes blazing. "Think?"_

_She stared at him startled by his cruelty as he turned away from her. "Her name is Tinker Bell," she offered, hoping to appease him by proving she hadn't been in danger; though it was entirely the wrong thing to do. "She's a fairy, well I suppose she is. Her wings were ta-, it's a long story," she said finishing quickly when she saw the darkening look on his face. _

"_You met them?" Felix asked in shock, confusion and anger swelling in him as to why. "With no one there to help if this Tinker Bell tried to hurt you?" He waited for her to deny it, or say the fairy had cornered her and left her no choice, but Rapunzel said nothing. "Are you really so stupid?" he demanded, watching the shock settle on her face as though he'd struck her. Yet she still said nothing, she was entirely speechless. And so he was left shaking his head. "Go back to the camp," he told her, watching to make sure that she did. He slammed his club against a tree growling, hating now that he'd hurt her. She'd been smiling, excited, she'd looked like Rapunzel – before Baelfire had ruined her. And now it was him that had ruined her again. _

…

They were forced to make camp when the sun set, stealing any light they might have travelled by when the jungle was too thick to see from the moonlight. Emma found Cami sitting by the fire, long after everyone had fallen asleep. "Couldn't sleep?" she asked sitting beside her.

"No," Cami answered, her mind too cluttered with decisions and all the ways they would hurt everyone she cared about.

"You know, you could always talk about it," Emma offered, not knowing what the girl was thinking; but seeing from the way she rolled her eyes and shook her head that she wasn't happy.

"Why?" she asked turning to Emma, "so you can call me a brat? So you can yell at me about how I'm not fulfilling my purpose as leverage in getting Henry back?"

"That isn't," Emma tried to start before Cami interrupted her.

"I'm not an idiot Emma," she retorted. "You may not admit it, but somewhere in the back of your mind you've been thinking about it since you let me come with you, that if it came down to using me to get Henry you'd practically throw me to Pan. And I'm pretty sure Regina would help."

Emma opened her mouth to refuse, to tell her she was a brat but she'd never do that her: only she wasn't so sure. If she was left with the choice of giving up Cami to get Henry back, she'd give up Cami. It was that simple. "Then why do you keep coming back?" she asked, seeing as Cami didn't believe she had any reason to choose them.

She didn't answer, instead she stared at the fire wondering the same thing that had been bothering her for hours. Going back to Pan seemed the easy choice, what she should have done the moment she'd stepped foot back in Neverland. And yet something was holding her back – certainly not Regina, who was more worried about Henry to see the strain the choice was leaving on Cami – but something. It was on nights like these when Mother Superior would come up with a cup of tea and sit with her, talk if Cami wanted, and sometimes even tuck her in. "I don't know," she whispered softly, burying her head in her hands.

Emma reached out to place a hand on her back, feeling for the girl who was obviously so horribly lost, but she put her hand back in her lap before she did. A faint rustling sound reached her ears and she looked up to see a boy standing behind the fire. "Cami," she said reaching for the hilt of her sword.

"He's been waiting over an hour," she told Emma, dropping her hands and standing. "I'll be back in a minute."

Emma watched as she took Felix's hand and let him lead her into the forest, suddenly afraid of her being alone with him – Cami was entirely undecided, leaning either way, Emma was afraid in that moment on that night Felix might sway her. So she followed, looking at the others to see they were all still sleeping before she slipped into the woods.

Felix stopped a short ways away from the camp, a sinking feeling this particular meeting wouldn't last long. "You're choosing them," he said, not needing to ask. He should have figured it out when he'd first asked her to come with him and she'd not been able to say anything. All the signs were there, he had just been holding out hope that maybe she'd change her mind.

And even then, she didn't answer him directly; instead she spoke as though he hadn't. "Would you ever come with me?" she asked, trying to find an answer in his. She looked at him to see him staring at her confused. "Back to Storybrook, where we could grow up together? We could get married, have kids. You know, be normal people. Would you ever do that?" she asked, the emotion clear in how thick her voice had grown.

"Rapunzel," he said trying to brush off what she'd asked, "this is our home, where our family is. Pan is,"

"It's always Pan isn't it?" she asked cutting him off, her eyes growing sad. "I always choose you," she told him. "You always choose him." As though she couldn't bear to be near him anymore she turned away abruptly, headed toward the camp.

"Baelfire," he called after. "You turned your back on me when you helped him."

She laughed brokenheartedly, and she answered without turning. "He asked me to go with him," she told him, taking a deep breath before forcing her feet forward – leaving him staring after her realizing he was losing her.

"Rapunzel," he yelled after her, not willing to let her slip through his fingers again.

She turned to him wiping a tear. "It's Cami." He'd already lost her.

* * *

_They barely spoke the next day, Pan sending Felix and a few others to hunt this Tinker Bell – only for Felix to realize that Rapunzel had given her a place to hide out. "You've come back empty handed again," Pan said when they returned. _

_Felix moved away from the others so they wouldn't hear. "Rapunzel has something to do with this," he admitted, looking around the camp to find her sitting next to their youngest boy – who had been abandoned by his parents, and now looked to Rapunzel as a new mother. _

_Pan nodded, having a feeling she might have; he could see in her eyes the thoughts of leaving. "She left earlier," Pan commented offhandedly. _

"_What?" Felix asked turning to him, his eyes blazing at her having completely gone against what he'd told her. _

_But Pan shrugged unconcerned. "She wasn't gone for very long," he told him. "Perhaps we should give this Tinker Bell a chance, if she is a fairy she might have some fairy dust. Or better," he said with a smile, " pixie dust." _

_Felix was looking at Rapunzel rather than listening to Pan's plan, watching as she smoothed Tommy's hair back. He didn't know why he was so angry, this was the Rapunzel that had first come to the island; the naïve girl who couldn't remember seeing another person, finding wonder and excitement in everything. This was the Rapunzel he had fallen for, so he couldn't understand why he was so unhappy with her. _

"_Go," Pan said. "Make nice with her, I know you want to." _

_Felix nodded before going to her, offering her his hand before leading her into the forest so they could talk. He was quiet for a few minutes, standing and holding her hand as he swallowed anything other than understanding. "This Tinker Bell," he said quietly, "what's she like?" _

_She looked at him surprised, thinking he'd be angry she'd left as he'd told her not to and even more that she'd found the fairy a hiding place. But there he was, his eyes on the ground, trying to show he understood. This was why she loved him. _

_He was shocked speechless when she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaving him to hold her as he so loved doing. And just like that, everything was fine again._

* * *

Emma watched as Rapunzel walked by her, not even caring to roll her eyes at seeing she'd followed them. It worried her, because this wasn't the head strong, strong willed young woman that Emma knew – this was a broken girl who was choosing between what was right and the person she loved most in the world. It was an unfair choice, and she sighed when she realized that she'd been the one to ask her to choose. "Cami," she said gently.

"I'll understand," she told Emma. "If it comes down to it I wouldn't expect you to give up your son for me. But for the record," she said giving a pitiful smile, "I don't think I wanna stay."

Emma then understood, this was her choice: she wouldn't take down Pan, she wouldn't go against him, but she wasn't gonna stop them from taking Henry either – and she was scared, scared that after all of that they'd leave her here. She'd never looked more like a kid than she did then. "Look at me," Emma ordered, taking her arms in her hands. "After we get Henry, I swear I will take you home." She watched as more tears filled her eyes and she made to hug her but Cami squirmed away. Emma understood, sometimes being touched made you feel like you would just fall apart.

Cami laid down trying to get as much rest as she could before dawn would break in a few short hours. And even then, knowing she had come back and was now wanting to leave again, she was thinking how much Felix would hate her if she asked Hook to knock him out and drag him onboard when they left.

* * *

**_For those of you who have seen the newest episode, not the one December 8 - the one before that - the kid that helped Emma so long as they were taken to Storybrook too, that's who I'm saying Tommy is. And if they do end up giving him a name on the show then I'll come back and change it accordingly. Also, I know things seems bleak for Cami and Felix now but rest assured there will still be moments here and there for them throughout the next few episodes._**


	18. I'm always in this twilight

**_Hannah: thank you for reviewing. What happens to her and Felix depends on what they do in the show - I'm just holding out hope they don't completely kill him off. I can't do much with that._**

**_LoonyLucy: I think it'd be funny too to actually see Hook knock him out and have to carry him on board. Tommy is close to her, she cares a lot about him - and the others too - but he won't be too big a part of her life. He would be the first to welcome her back though. And I get feeling bad for Felix; cause he thinks Pan is someone he can trust, and he doesn't get why Cami doesn't just come back. And I'm really glad you liked her decision. Thanks for the review._**

* * *

They began again early the next morning, continuing on long into the day and not stopping that night when they were so close already to where Tinker Bell stayed. Cami kept pace with Hook, only needing to look at the map every once in a while when everything was glaringly familiar. She was still thinking about what it was she was gonna do, going against Pan on this seemed like a horrible idea for her – there would be no forgiveness if he got his hands on her again. But she couldn't go against Regina and Henry, and the Charmings or even Emma – and all of Storybrook of course – she had known them for twenty-eight years, called it home. And she didn't want to stay anymore, she didn't want to be forever young, she wanted to grow up and have a life. But Felix didn't, and she didn't want a life without him which left her entirely lost.

"Are you alright, little flower?" Hook asked, making her smile briefly at the use of his old nickname for her.

She shrugged dejectedly, not knowing what she was anymore. "I'm as good as I'll be," she answered.

He saw that she was struggling with being back, more than he thought she would; but there wasn't much he could offer her. "We're almost there, perhaps things will look brighter then," he told her hoping for a sign of any sort of smile – there wasn't one. "That's where we will make a plan."

"I won't be a part of it," she told him interrupting him. "I can't go against," she stopped, looking away as she breathed. She took a moment to gather herself before she continued. "I can't help with any plans you make," she said softly, hearing David's heavy breathing and Mary Margret behind him.

Hook nodded letting it drop for the moment in time, hoping for something different when they finally reached their destination. But when he turned to her he could see nothing had changed, and he nodded unhappily before climbing the ladder and up into the tree house.

Cami made a quick scan through the woods, finding no one but Tinker Bell's footprints which meant that they weren't being followed – and that Tinker Bell wasn't being watched. If Tink did help them, and Cami wasn't entirely sure she would, then maybe they could make a plan that might actually work. She returned to the others when she heard them climbing back down. "Is she not here?" she asked.

"Look at this," Mary Margaret said holding out a handkerchief.

She recognized it immediately. "I was wondering if that was Regina."

"What do you mean?" Mary Margaret asked, looking at her questioningly as the others were also all doing.

She hated when they stared at her all at once, she could literally feel the weight of their eyes. "The reason why Tink ended up here," she answered.

"Tink?" Emma asked, wondering how well the two knew each other and if it were enough to get the fairy to help.

"Yeah," Cami shrugged. "She went against the Blue Fairy's orders to help a queen, which went wrong or something I don't really know much about fairy business. But she ended up losing her wings." She watched as they nodded, processing what she'd said. "Anyways, if it is Regina she probably won't help. She really hated her."

Emma shook her head, somehow the Evil Queen being the cause of most problems. "Yeah well now she has Regina. Do you know anywhere she might have taken her?" she asked, causing Mary Margaret to look at her strangely – it was one of the first times Emma hadn't snapped at the girl.

"I know several places," Cami told her. "More places than we can all look."

Emma sighed defeated, knowing they couldn't just leave her. "Great," she groaned.

Cami stood awkwardly, Hook David and Mary Margaret all still looking at her. "If I know Tink as well I think I do, she probably won't hurt her." She met Emma's stare, seeing she was waiting for more. "I mean above all else she's still a fairy, and they're good. She won't have it in her to kill her."

"So we wait," Emma said not at all happy with idea of just sitting there while not only Henry was out there but now Regina being held captive by a fairy with a grudge.

They stood aimlessly, uselessly as they wondered where Tinker Bell had taken Regina. "She's gone?" Emma asked when Hook returned, seeing on his face that she was. "Great, so we really are waiting."

"How did you meet Tinker Bell?" Mary Margaret's kind voice asked, hoping to get their minds on something new.

Cami shrugged, remembering Felix's reaction. "I found her when she first came here, showed her how to survive before Pan would let her in our camp," she said, Emma taking note of her use of 'our' instead of 'his.' "I showed her this cave she could stay in, before the boys built her the," she turned suddenly back to Tink's home, "treehouse," she finished softly.

"What is it?" Emma asked, watching as she smiled and shook her head.

"Of course that's where she took her," Cami said talking more to herself, "she knows it better than anywhere else." She turned to Emma. "The cave."

Emma heaved a sigh of relief. "Well good, lead the way."

…

It wasn't more than a ten minute walk, and Cami stopped behind a wide cover of foliage. "Okay here's the plan," Emma said as their leader, placing a hand on Cami's shoulder and pulling her behind her. "You're gonna stay in the back in case she's armed, when she comes out we're gonna rush her." She said all of this in an anxious hushed voice, pulling her sword and pointing where she wanted them all. "Remember," she whispered to Cami, "you're unarmed, stay behind us."

Cami rolled her eyes but didn't object. Tink wasn't going to attack them, nor would she hurt Regina, and if a weapon somehow found a way into her hand – though Emma believed otherwise – she knew how to fight; Felix had made sure she could defend herself.

And so they waited for Tinker Bell to come out, hearing faint footsteps after a few minutes and prepared to run out. Everyone rushed out weapons at hand the moment she stepped out.

"Where's Regina," Emma demanded, sword aimed at her the fairy's heart.

Tink looked around at all all them, staring at swords and an arrow all aimed at her. "Who the hell are you?"

"A pissed off mother, where is she?" Emma said briskly, having no time to waste. They waited for Tinker Bell to say something, to do something.

"I'm fine," they heard Regina say, looking behind Tinker Bell to see her walking out of the cave.

"You mind lowering those," Tink demanded, tired of being faced with weapons as though she were a criminal. "You may stick me but I'll take you down with me."

"You always were a ray of sunshine," Cami said stepping forward.

Tink looked at her surprised. "Rapunzel? Never thought I'd see you here again."

"Yeah well," she muttered shrugging.

Regina stopped beside her, looking to the others. "She's okay, she's not gonna hurt us. Stand down."

"But is she going to help?" Hook asked, knowing Tinker Bell wouldn't be entirely pleased to see him.

Nor was he wrong. "Well look what the Queen dragged in. Hello Hook," she said snidely, remembering how Hook had promised to take her with him when he left and then left without her.

He gave her a half smile, seeing her purse her lips as she fought her own; they'd had a lot of fun here. "Tinker Bell," he greeted.

"She's not gonna help us," Regina told them, Hook interrupting her before she could say why.

"Tink, after all we've been through together? A little assistance," he asked.

"She doesn't have any magic," Regina said.

David's heart sunk. "No, pixie dust?" he asked, trying to hide his immense disappointment as he looked at Regina.

"Not even her wings," she said quietly looking away, knowing she'd caused all of this.

Emma already knew about her having no wings, she was caught up on the no magic – which they had been counting on. "How?"

Tink turned to her. "I guess people just stopped believing in me. And even if I wanted to help you, he's too powerful. You should know that," she said looking at Cami, watching as the girl looked down at her feet.

"But you know where Pan is," Mary Margaret said, another plan in mind.

"Sure," Tink said with a shrug, "but that won't do you a bit of good."

Mary Margaret gave her a small smile. "Let us be the judge of that."

Cami took a step to her left so that she was beside Hook, hearing the others as they began to form a new plan. "I'll be straight behind you, come get me when they've formed a new plan," she said softly before walking back into the woods until she couldn't hear them anymore. She bounced on the balls of her feet, knowing that even this – not having anything to do with their plans – wouldn't do much to appease Pan. He'd see her as an enemy, as a threat; she wouldn't ever be forgiven, not by Pan which meant not by Felix. But if Pan wanted Henry, she was sure that would end in Henry being hurt. And she just couldn't. It left her in a horrible place, choosing a life in Neverland with the boy she loved, or choosing the people she now thought of as family and the life she wanted. The problem wasn't who to choose, that was easy because she had already sided with her group. Felix was the problem, because she didn't want to stay in Neverland and he didn't want to leave.

"Cami," Emma called as they started on to make a camp.

"Here," she said back, knowing Emma had been afraid she'd run off again. She waited until they reached her before falling in line behind Emma. They found a clearing and made a fire, laying out as they made to rest.

"I get it," Emma said, Cami sitting beside her, "why you don't want to be apart of our plans."

Cami didn't think Emma really understood, at least not fully. She still saw her as just a girl, and the lost boys as just boys – until she completely understood that they had all been alive longer than her, she'd never get it.

So Emma continued when Cami said nothing. "It's a way of not choosing sides, right?" she asked.

But Cami shook her head. "It's about survival, you should know a lot about that," she told her blandly. Emma's eyes were confused when she turned to her. "Should I get left behind for any reason, I'd like not to die."

Emma could see from the way Cami clenched her jaw that she wouldn't be saying any more, and she saw it even clearer when she curled up and laid down with her back to everyone else. Emma wished she could say that wouldn't happen, that they wouldn't leave her; and Emma didn't want to leave her behind, it would haunt her for the rest of her life that Cami would spend who knew how long trapped possibly forever in a place she didn't want to be. But she couldn't say for sure, not if Pan got it into his head to take her – or if he demanded her be returned to him in place of Henry. They still didn't know why Pan wanted Henry, or how much he wasn't planning on letting him go. Because that changed everything.


	19. in the shadow of your heart

**_LoonyLucy: I have no doubt Hook would do that, but with only one hand I figured he'd get tired. However, while he's carrying a person he could turn roughly and knock their head against something - that's actually really funny to think about, I might use that. I'm glad you like how Emma and Cami interact, cause they don't see eye to eye on many things; but they are slowly getting a feel for each other. And I'm glad you liked that I brought up the lost boys and how they're actually older than everyone (save Rumple, he's older) And I actually think Hook might be the one who'd have to think on giving her up the longest, cause they've known each other for +200 years and he really does actually like her. And he's turning out to be a pretty decent guy. But I am glad you think she's being smart, cause that's what I was going for, and a see a little bit of why in this chapter._**

* * *

Morning barely looked like a new day in the dark jungle, the sun barely shining through the thick trees. Cami stood against a tree a ways from the camp, her ears straining to hear any deliberate sounds that meant someone was near, keeping away from the forming of any sort of plans. She had gone further than last night, a heavy feeling wound tight in her stomach that she should be as far from the camp on that particular morning as she could be and they still find her. She couldn't explain it, it felt as though she could literally feel that something was going to happen. And she was right.

The jungle was still and quiet, and the next moment he was in front of her. "Shh," Pan said holding a finger against her lips until she closed them. "Good girl." He stared hard at her as she stood breathing deeply; if he hadn't known her so well he'd hardly be able to see the differences in her, they were so small. But her eyes, they held all her secrets, as he'd come to know with her. "You're not the same girl who first came here," he said softly, feeling the rapid rise and fall of her chest against his as she waited for what he would do.

She was terrified, seeing now there was no way she could have saved herself from him; of course he'd known the moment she made the decision to keep out of all planning, and of course it wouldn't be enough for him. But there was nothing menacing in his stance, no threat in his eyes. She flinched when he raised his hand, watching as he smiled before brushing her hair behind her ears.

"Do you remember?" he asked, feeling how afraid of him she was. "How sweet you were, how happy you used to be? Do you remember how much I liked you, did you even notice?"

She had noticed; it was in his touch. Whether to take her hand and show her something, how he'd entwine his fingers with her own, how he'd tuck her hair behind her ear and brush her cheek with his fingertips. She'd noticed. The problem was understanding what it meant, which she hadn't, at least not then. All her life she'd lived in a tower, fondness was something new to her until Felix. But one day it stopped meaning something – he'd brush her hair back simply because it was in her face, he'd take her hand to pull her along or out of the way. At some point he'd seen that the only touch that mattered was Felix's, and so he'd given up.

"It's alright," he shrugged uncaring, seeing the answer in her eyes. "I never would've loved you," he said pleasantly. "Not like Felix does. And you've ruined him," he told her, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"I didn't," she started but he laughed and grabbed her arm silencing her.

"You did," he said, all pretense of mirth dropping from his face as his eyes hardened. "He used to be happy here, he used to be able to live without you," he explained, his words bearing an edge of blame. "He used to hear the music." He watched realization dawn in her bright blue eyes, of the disbelief before it gave way to a heavy acceptance. He waited until she understood just what she had done before he told her his reason for coming. "So you see," he said stepping back, "now that you're here and choosing them I can't take you back. If you stand with them, you die with them. That's the way it is, Cami," he sneered, that name sounding so wrong coming from him. "And can you imagine how broken you'd have made him then."

She tried to tell herself he didn't mean to be cruel, that he was just as betrayed as Felix had been. But she couldn't keep the tears from springing to her eyes, keep the hurt from settling in her chest.

He stared down at her, watching her face closely to see his words had cut her as he'd wanted. "Do you want to know a secret?" he asked, watching her eyes flick to his face before she looked down. "You love me," he whispered, bending his head to her ear. "Not as much as Felix, not even in the same way. But you see," he tilted his head to look at her eyes, "we're family." He waited until she breathed again, until she couldn't look at him again. "I'll ask you again, Rapunzel," he said standing up straight, "what's your choice."

He was giving her another chance, one more chance to make the right decision. And in that moment, feeling him standing too close for her to think clearly, she couldn't remember why she hadn't come back when she'd first returned. She opened her mouth to answer but not a sound left her.

"I'll make it simpler," he offered seeing that this was harder for her than she had given away, "do you want to come back to us?" His patience was wearing thin as he waited, seeing yet again her mouth moving to answer but not being able. "Do you," he said roughly grabbing her arms, "want to come back?" Her lips mouthed the words she couldn't say, and he read them clearly. With a smile he kissed her forehead. "That was all you had to say," he told her gently before releasing her. "When this is all over you can have your place among us again. So long as you don't go against me in anyway," he added with a breezy smile. "Staying with them but leaving as they scheme, clever girl," he said almost proudly. "I taught you well." He backed away, casting a hard look behind Rapunzel to where Emma was hunched behind a bush, before leaving them.

Emma waited until he left, feeling the moment he was gone as though a weight had been lifted off her. There was such familiarity between them, too much history for her to just go against him. And she charged forward prepared to demand Cami tell her what her answer had been. But she stilled by the girl wilting to her knees and covering her sobs in her hands. If her math was right, Cami had lived there two lifetimes, had fallen in love and called Pan family; she kept forgetting that twenty-eight years was nothing on two centuries. It was a blink of an eye. And yet it was expected of Cami to side against Pan. Emma knelt beside her, sweeping the curtain of blonde hair over her should so her face could be seen.

"We're going to where Neal used to stay, you know where that is?" she asked, waiting until Cami nodded so she could continue. "We'll make camp nearby. Find us before morning."

She didn't want to leave Cami there, knowing if Pan came back or Felix came by there was a very real chance they'd convince her to go with them. But Emma no longer thought it was fair to ask her to choose, was too afraid that the answer wasn't Henry. And so she stood and went back to the others, hearing her muffled tears as she went.

* * *

_Pan found her sitting on the beach with her knees curled to her chest, the shadow circling above her head. "I don't know what Felix is so hung up about," he said stopping behind her and staring up at the stars. "You haven't been happy in a while." He heard her sniff, knowing she'd been crying, and he waited until she was ready to speak. _

"_Felix said that happened when Baelfire got here," she said softly, wondering if it was his fault. _

"_No," he said shaking his head, "it was before that." He bent low to grab her and help her to her feet before turning her to him. "You're too kind for this place, it's wearing you down. You've wanted to leave for many years." _

_She shook her head wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I can't just, leave," she said, her voice broken with emotion. _

_But Pan shrugged. "Of course you can," he told her as happy as ever, "and you should. You need to," he paused as he thought of the word, "darken a little bit. Take a year or two to really miss us, and then come back." He smoothed her hair back, letting her go because he knew she could never stay away; she had been more lost than any of his boys. But she was too gentle, that was the problem with girls their feelings ruled them. Time away would turn her feelings against her, make her see why she couldn't leave them. There wasn't an ounce of doubt in his mind that she'd come back, he knew her too well. The moment he moved the slightest bit forward she pressed herself against him, her lashes wet against his cheek, his hands on her arms as he hugged her as much as he was capable. _

_The shadow moved to hover beside her when he let her go, the time for her to leave having come. "I believe," he told her. "Say those two words and you will come back." He stepped back when she took the shadow's hand, watching as she was lifted into the air. "I'll see you again my lost girl." _

* * *

It had taken her a good half hour to finally stop crying, wondering how in no more than five minutes Pan could make her so lost again. She thought she'd had it figured out, that she'd go with Emma and her parents and Regina and Hook and see that they got Henry without ever actually helping; and who knew, maybe she could actually go back to Storybrook with them, and even crazier maybe Felix would come too. But then Pan came along and reminded her that it wasn't just Felix she cared about. And now she was left not knowing what to do once again.

So she sat against the tree for some time before standing and making her way after where they had gone, following the path they'd made. She'd make it to back to them in less than an hour, hopefully after they had decided what they'd do next. What she hadn't accounted for was coming across another path that crossed the one she was on, one made by a single person. With blind hope she turned and followed it, telling herself she'd give it five minutes before she turned back. But he'd heard her quiet footsteps and stopped to wait until she reached him.

She stared at Felix's face, feeling yet another rush of emotion swell within her. "Don't," she nearly begged when he opened his mouth to speak. She didn't wanna talk, she didn't think they could talk anymore without yelling at each other. So instead she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in the crook of his neck as he held her. It was a sigh of relief, a gasp for air after drowning. He wouldn't have let go if he didn't have to get back to Pan, he would have held her forever if given the chance.

"I have to go," he said softly, already regretting having to. Her arms slipped down his back until they were at her sides, looking up at his face as he moved back to see the bruise on his cheek. He caught her hand before her fingertips gently brushed against it, staring hard into her eyes before stepping away and turning from her. He thought from their last conversation that he'd lost her completely, but it was her who was lost.

Her not wanting him to go didn't matter, and from the reluctant way he'd pulled away she knew it was because of Pan. He'd taken one step away before he'd dropped his club and rushed back to her, forcing her head back to find her lips. They did nothing more than kiss for several minutes, clinging to each other as though nothing else made sense. But he did have to go, and so he forced his hands to his side and made his feet move away from her even though everything in him screamed for him to stay.

She didn't watch him go, she would've run after him begging him to let her stay and that she'd go along with whatever Pan was doing so that she could stay with him: she didn't want that. And so she'd been the one to walk away first, heading back to the other path and following it until she found their camp.

There was a moment of surprise on all their faces when they saw her, Emma having told them about her encounter with Pan and the state he'd left her in. They almost thought she wouldn't return, but they were all glad – as long as she had stayed in Neverland, Emma Mary Margaret David and Regina still saw Cami as their's.

"Hey," Emma said softly, moving to sit closer to her after she settled. "Don't let him get in your head," she told Cami, remembering how only a night ago she'd been begging to leave with them. "There was a time you didn't want to be here."

Cami looked at Emma, seeing the other woman was trying to understand. She nodded before laying back and turning away from her, feeling Emma's hand on her back briefly before she left her. Cami was faced with the same problem she'd had as Rapunzel, she didn't know what she wanted. If she was ever going to choose a side, she needed to figure that out and fast. Because she had a feeling that time was running out.

* * *

**_First off, I'm a little sick so I apologize if there's an overabundance of mistakes in this chapter - I'll try to go back and fix it if there are. Second, this was an entire episode, and I feel like that might happen with the next one too depending on how I do it. But there will be more her and Felix moments coming up. Also, there was a lot of history with Pan - which I hope you enjoyed because I kind of liked writing it - and I hope that their relationship isn't coming out the wrong way because it's not romantic (it could have been, but she fell f_****_or Felix and vice versa) but he's not in love with her or anything. As always, thank you so much for reading.  
_**


	20. You only need the light

**_Hannah: thank you so much for reviewing, reading it really made my day. So thank you. I am so glad you're liking how I'm doing the characters and their emotions, because that's the hardest part. And I was really glad when you talked about Felix, cause I wasn't sure how he was coming across. As to your other review, I address that particular issue at the end._**

* * *

After a long night of tossing and turning she woke to a hand running through her hair. "Hey," Regina said softly sitting beside her. "We're going back in the," she paused as she thought of a word, "lair to see if we can find anything else."

Cami smiled at Regina's crude tone, hearing that she didn't see the point in any of this since they hadn't found anything. "Okay," she said running a hand over her face as she sat up and stretched.

"Any reason you don't wanna go in?" Emma asked, her voice laced with a hard edge. Supposedly Cami was supposed to have cared for Neal the most, at least that's what Mary Margaret said when she offered the girl defense for her running off – it didn't mean it was any easier for Emma.

Regina turned angry eyes to Emma and shook her head. "She's not helping us with plans, she's being smart."

As much as Emma wanted to disagree she nodded and moved away, almost wishing Cami was coming in so that Emma wouldn't be alone in the pain. It was selfish, and so Emma held her tongue. But she would have never guessed Cami's real thoughts: none besides Regina.

"Any particular reason you don't want to?" she asked when the others left. She watched as Cami shrugged, seeing the unhappiness written all over her face. "You know, I could try to name all the people I've killed. But of course there's so may I'm sure to miss some," she said looking to see Cami's shocked face. "Or even better, all of the lives I ruined. There's no way I could name them all," she told her jokingly, smiling when she heard Cami's small bit of laughter. She turned to Cami after a moment and brushed her hair back. "You won't find any judgments here."

Cami was quiet for several minutes, mulling over the thoughts in her head before she finally sighed. "He's dead, I can't just," she trailed off shaking her head not knowing where the thought had come from: as though it had been whispered in her ear as she slept.

"You'd be happy with Felix and Pan if you hadn't met him," Regina finished for her, understanding now what was troubling her.

But Cami only shrugged, because she knew most of it was her fault – but that stupid thought, that sounded so much like Pan's voice speaking it to her, kept playing over and over in her mind. _"Where would you be now if Baelfire hadn't come here? How happy could you have been?_ That was even how Pan would've said it, almost as though he were in her mind trying to lure her into thoughts of returning to him – which is exactly what he had done, though she didn't know that. All she had was a faint memory of the night before, a dream, of Pan kneeling over her. But she'd shot awake and found herself alone. Either way it did what Pan wanted, she was now questioning who's fault it was that she had left Neverland in the first place.

And yet, as Pan never accounted for, there was her life in Storybrook and the year before that. "I wouldn't have met you," she finally said, her clouded mind settling on the reality of things. "And it may not have always been good, but I was happy. And then you cast the curse and I got to meet Mother Superior, and Granny, and Archie and all of the others. And I just," she looked at Regina and shrugged, "I don't regret leaving. Not when I got all of that."

Regina nodded as she watched Cami seeing she wanted to be alone. "You sure you don't wanna come?" she offered a last time.

Cami covered her face with her hands. "No," she mumbled long and drawn out making Regina smile.

"You certainly sound like a teenager," she told her as she stood making Cami laugh.

She was left sitting alone with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company; many years she'd had only her mind as a companion, and she sat thinking hard on why she was now blaming Bae. There was only one answer, Pan. She hadn't been dreaming, that was the first thing she realized – because on Neverland coincidences were very rare, and he had a hand in everything. And if she hadn't been dreaming than the words that now played through her head like a mantra had come from him. He was trying to force her into coming back to him, to make her see believe it was all Bae's fault so that she'd have no reason to stay with the others. He was cheating. "Son of bitch," she muttered to herself.

"That is not language you should be using."

Cami stood and turned wide eyed to Mary Margaret and the others. "Sorry," she offered meekly. "Where are we going?" she asked falling in line behind her and David.

"Well, we need a way to get a message to Henry to let him know we're here," Mary Margaret explained as they walked. "That's exactly what we'll give him."

Cami stopped short. "That answered nothing."

"You're telling me," Emma mumbled from beside her. They followed after Mary Margaret, letting her lead them to wherever it was she was looking for, until finally she stopped in an area covered with vines.

"This should be good," she mused before pulling a vine from a tree and inspecting it.

"Great," Regina said from behind, "mind telling us what we're doing here?"

Mary Margaret gave her an irritated look before holding out the thin vine. "Well it's like you said, there's lost boys after us. We just need to get our hands on one."

They were all quiet as they looked to Mary Margaret, seeing her sweet face smiling confidently. "Wait a minute," Cami said trying to piece things together. "What you're saying is you're going to capture one of the boys and make him tell Henry you guys are here?"

"That's not bad," Emma said quietly, earning a smile from her mother.

Cami stood dumbfounded by the idea, thinking of all the ways it could go wrong – and all the ways it could go right. "I guess I'll see you guys later," she said slowly as she tried to think of how they'd get any one of the boys she knew to talk.

"You're not staying?" Mary Margaret asked. "Maybe if they saw you they'd be more willing to help."

She shook her head. "No, they'd see me with you and go back and tell everyone I've sided against Pan. On top of helping Bae leave, they'd never take me back."

Regina stepped forward. "You're not coming back with us?" she asked in disbelief, having seen for herself how unhappy she was at being back.

Cami looked at Emma to see her understanding eyes and then at the others. "I'm keeping my options open in case anything goes wrong. Now, I'll be," she paused as she gathered her bearings, "that way," she said pointing at a direction. Before anyone could say anything else, like how they now all realized she had been preparing herself to be left behind, she quickly walked through the trees. She had chosen the direction she'd most likely come across Felix; if he were looking for her that is.

It was a long shot, a shot in the dark; but it paid off because he was in fact looking for her. "Hello Rapunzel," he said slyly as he leaned against a tree. "You make an actual choice yet or are you still trying to play both sides?" He was hoping to get a reaction out of her, having thought from the way she'd clung to him the day before that maybe she was close to coming back to him, but in all honesty she wasn't the Rapunzel he knew.

She stood when he spoke, holding up a hand and shaking her head at his question. "I don't wanna talk," she told him, knowing they would just fight if they did. Instead she stepped forward and grabbed his shirt and pulled his mouth to hers – a sick feeling twisting in her stomach that the time for them to do this was quickly coming to an end. And if there was a possibility she'd never kiss him again then she was gonna make their last one count. Her ferocity surprised him, for a moment, before he pushed her against a tree.

"Why does this feel like a goodbye?" he asked pulling away, her hands tangled in his hair and his own running along her sides beneath her shirt.

She supposed it was, because it did feel like that. "Why does he want Henry?" she asked.

"What?" he asked stepping away from her. He could see she wasn't going to leave without an answer, one he hadn't ever wanted to give her because he knew what she'd say.

But she knew what would happen to Henry, what she didn't know was why. "Pan has wanted something since before I came here, you've kept it from me," she said pointing a finger at him.

He watched her closely, seeing in her eyes the anger and hurt swirling and mixing. But he shook his head defiantly. "I'm not telling you that," he said watching her eyes widen in bewilderment.

"You're not," she laughed amazed, seeing that in this moment he was choosing Pan – and it made her livid.

He didn't like the look in her eye, or the way she spoke. This wasn't Rapunzel, this wasn't the sweet girl who enjoyed simply being alive; he didn't know who this was, only that in that particular moment she looked very much like him. "Why is Henry so important that you can't make a simple choice?" he asked snidely, degrading her with his words.

"Because he's good," she answered throwing her hands up. "He is a kind person and he deserves to live. And because Peter Pan wants him that means he doesn't get to."

He was surprised at her having figured that out because she shouldn't have. She should have thought the best of Pan because that was just who she was. "So this is your choice," he said quietly, hoping against hope that she wouldn't actually say yes. "You're choosing them over us."

"Why not?" she asked shrugging. "Maybe I'm taking a page from Pan's book and choosing myself over anyone else. Cause god knows he's only in this for himself."

"You can't say that," Felix said speaking over her.

"And you should really see the group I'm with, they're all about together and family," she said laughing at how opposite the two choices were. "You know what, maybe they'll actually be able to pull this off. They might actually be able to take Pan down."

"Stop talking!" he yelled slamming her against a tree to make her stop. This was traitorous talk, it was unforgivable. Her breathing had deepened, her eyes registering what it was she had said, and still she opened her mouth to say something else. "Shut up," he hissed, his hands coiled tight around her arms as he glared down at her. "Peter Pan never fails, how many times have I said that?" he asked, not letting her answer before he spoke again. "He is giving you a second chance, time to decide what you want. Why aren't you taking it?"

He was furious, that much she could tell; and she honestly didn't know what had gotten a hold of her to have made her say all that. But she couldn't take it back, and if even she could she wasn't quite sure she wanted to – she'd known most of it for a long time now, and much of her unhappiness had come from her waning trust in Pan. "Maybe I don't know," she told him, not knowing what he would do with the real answer.

"You need to figure that out," he said slowly so that she'd get it, "you don't have much time left."

She looked up at him, already regretting the words before they left her mouth. "Neither do you."

And there it was, her choice. She'd already declared it before he'd stopped her, she wasn't choosing Pan or even Felix. She was honestly, truly, betraying them. And she watched it settle in his shocked eyes, watched hurt flare before he masked it. "What are you gonna do?" she whispered. "Will you sign my death sentence?"

He could barely catch his breath, wanting to give up and leave her and then wanting to slap her across the face so she'd see reason. She had no reason to go against Pan, he'd given her everything; and yet there she was, waiting for him to answer her. "Take it back," he said desperately. "Just take it back and we can forget all about this.

He was begging, trying so hard to save her from the mess she was making. But she couldn't, she couldn't let him keep thinking that she'd settle for staying here anymore because it wasn't fair to him. She didn't want to stay, and Pan was the reason; even though she loved him, even though they were family – she had stopped believing in him years ago. It was then she realized that she had never really planned to come back, she'd only fooled herself into believing it. "No," she whispered, her voice nothing but a breath.

He stumbled back shocked, his eyes wide and confused as he stared at a girl he didn't know. And then rage masked all of it, and a grim understanding settled on his face. "Fine," he told her before turning and grabbing his club. "I tried to get you back nicely, Rapunzel, I really did. But you've left me no choice." He turned back to her with a fire in his eyes, moving before she could prepare herself for what she saw coming just a little too late.

…

Pan looked up when Felix entered the camp and stopped at the edge of it waiting for him. "What is it?" he asked when he made it to him.

Felix shifted his club and looked over his shoulder. "We have a problem," he answered jerking his head back the way he came before leading Pan out of the camp.

Pan stopped when Felix did and looked to the ground, smiling as he knelt down. "I see you got tired of waiting," he said amused as he brushed aside Rapunzel's hair to see an already darkening bruise.

Felix nodded though he kept what Rapunzel had said to himself – in that moment, choosing her over Pan. "When this is all over, after you've killed them, we can let her out?" he asked looking to Pan.

He thought a moment before nodding, knowing Felix was holding something back – he wouldn't have hurt her simply because of impatience. "She'll have to be punished of course," he informed him cocking a brow, watching Felix's jaw clench before his head jerked a curt nod. "Well then," Pan said standing, "go put her in a cage."

* * *

**_Spoiler for newest episode, read at your own risk. So Felix died, that's a bummer and I totally called it and wished I was wrong. I would really like to not have him die in my story, because if he does Cami basically won't be able to function anymore and she'll kind of go crazy and that's how I'd end it doing that. But if I have him live, I have an idea but I'd like to keep it secret so that it's a surprise. So let me know whether you'd want me to keep with the show and kill him, or if you want me to continue with the story and have him live. That's really all you guys' preference._**

**_Also, in this chapter Cami's a little different than she was in the last chapter. She's kind of not so lost anymore, cause she's really finally come to a decision - and she's getting a little pissed at everyone demanding her choice. So if you remember from the beginning, and in most of her talks with Emma, she's a bit of a smartass. And that's just Cami - because Rapunzel was super sweet and naive, and so the counterpart in Storybrook is not so naive and not so sweet and more on the jaded side. And we're just now really seeing Cami in Neverland, because before she was more like Rapunzel. _**


	21. when it's burning low

**_I had a lot of guests, so the way I did it is from top to bottom in the review page. _**

**_Guest1: thank you for giving me your opinion, I've pretty much decided to let him live :)_**

**_Skylark: thanks for the review, I'm planning on letting him live. I'm glad you like how she's unfolding, and finally making a decision - there's another piece to that choice in this chapter, showing another reason why it's hard for her. And I hope you enjoy all the Cami and Felix moments in this one, cause I want them together too._**

**_Guest2: I know I was upset too, and he looked so confused when he figured out it was him. And thank you, I'm glad you liked the chapter, I had a lot of fun writing her finally making a choice. Although there's more of the reason why it took so long in this chapter. _**

**_ihaveagoodreview: thank you for your opinion. I knew it was coming, I knew when they started showing him more that he was gonna die. Didn't make it easier when he did._**

**_lola: thanks for telling me!_**

**_Hannah: thanks the review. I kind of want to keep him alive that way I can play some things a little bit more; and because I like writing him and her. _**

**_Guest3: I've done a lot of stories that have had sad endings, so I'd like to make this one have a happy one (thought it stays true to the show in that it doesn't happen how you expect.)_**

**_Guest4: His death would just ruin her, cause after over 200 years she couldn't live in a world he didn't. And I'm glad you caught that, cause that's one of the reasons she wants to leave now. When she first left Neverland it was mostly because she wasn't happy there, and it was too dark, and she didn't really trust Pan anymore. But after being in Storybrook is when she started wanting to grow up and have a family, which is where she is now. She wants Felix to come back with her._**

* * *

David and Hook quickly walked back to the others after having circled a large portion of the area Cami had been in. "Did you find her?" Mary Margaret asked when she saw David's face, knowing something was wrong.

He shook his head. "We found her tracks but she wasn't there."

"We circled around and found another set of tracks leading to where she'd been," Hook cut in, knowing what had happened. "There was only one set of footprints leaving and they weren't hers."

"So then where is she?" Regina asked growing more and more concerned. "She wouldn't have left, she wasn't happy here. She didn't want to,"

"Hey," Emma said interrupting her, "I know. But if we can't find her, I mean," she shrugged, "there's not much else we can do but continue looking for Henry and either find her or she finds us." She wasn't any happier about Cami being missing than Regina, knowing she hadn't just wandered off – especially not with how broken up she had been the past two days.

"So we're just going to leave her out there, to deal with god knows what?" Regina demanded unsatisfied with Emma's response.

Mary Margaret stepped forward. "She's right," she said in defense of her daughter, "Cami didn't want to stay here, we all saw that. But if she's gone then that means Pan has her. She's in the same place as Henry, we'll get her when he get him."

Emma placed a hand on Regina's shoulder before pulling it back to her side. "I gave her my word," she told Regina, "we're not leaving her here."

…

Cami woke to a vicious pounding in her head, a throbbing that pulsed behind her eyes and in her ears. Her first thought was ow, but her second was that she was getting real sick of being knocked out. This was the third time in less than a week, and after opening her eyes and blinking through a swirling haze, it was getting old.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up," Felix said, his voice a sarcastic knife cutting through her ears painfully.

She made to sit up and that was when she noticed the wooden bars around her. "What the hell," she said, the first thing that came to her fuddled mind. She didn't know if Pan had had cages for awhile or if this had been made specifically for her – but she wouldn't put it past Pan to have had these longer than her.

Felix smirked as he stepped closer. "This is what happens when you go against Pan," he told her, "I told you to stop talking."

"Stop talking about what?" Pan asked coming through the thick trees to stop in front of her cage. "Felix won't tell me what you said."

She looked to Felix in surprise, seeing his still arrogant face as he stood behind Pan watching her closely. He saw the look in her eye, watched as it softened slightly before looking back to Pan.

"I guess you made your choice," he said kneeling down to be eye level with her, having known Felix would only hurt her if it was to protect her. "You should be thanking him, if he didn't care so much about you I might have it in mind to kill you now. I won't of course," he assured her when he watched her eyes widen startled, Felix stiffening behind him, "you're our lost girl." He stared hard at her, seeing her small body curled against the side of the cage, not feeling an ounce of forgiveness for her. If he had it his way he'd drop her cage in the ocean and let her drown, he'd never trust her again, he'd never look at her and want her anywhere near Neverland ever again. But if he didn't show her mercy, if he didn't offer forgiveness then Felix might actually leave him. He honestly didn't know what Felix would do if left with the choice she'd had, and he certainly didn't want to find out – there was no one he trusted more, no one who was more loyal. And she really had ruined him. "But that's all for later, we still have to deal with your group. How long do you think it'll take them to realize they'll never win?" He was goading her, trying to get a rise out of her so she'd admit to him what she had to Felix; but she kept her mouth shut, proving he had taught her well. "It will give me enough time to think over an apt punishment for you," he said smiling pleasantly before standing. "And make no mistake, Rapunzel," he told her, a malicious glint in his eye, "it will be severe."

Felix watched Pan walk back through the trees, a terrible feeling washing over him that her staying would be a horrible mistake. He got down on his knees beside the cage, grabbing the small edge his fingers could slip through. "Say nothing," he urged her. "As far as anyone's concerned you're still with Pan, your judgement was just clouded and now you see what's right." She looked away from him, doubt filling her eyes. "I'm not asking you to believe it," he told her shortly, "I'm asking you, Rapunzel I am begging you to just go with it. Please," he said when she still looked at him unconvinced.

"He wants me dead," she said softly.

Felix shook his head. "He won't kill you," he told her firmly.

"He wants me dead," she said again, not thinking he was so blind as to believe Pan was really giving her a second chance on this.

He wasn't. "I am the reason you'll stay alive. If you want anything more than that you need to apologize and you need to mean it." He sat on his knees waiting for her to say something, to agree or disagree but to just say something. He felt a brush of her fingers over his own, seeing she was still not looking at him.

"You love me," she whispered, "that's why you're doing this."

The feel of her fingers wasn't enough, he wanted to hold her again, to feel her pressed against him so that he knew she was safe. "Yeah," he breathed, coming as close to admitting he loved her as he ever had.

She nodded before pulling away. "It was twenty-eight years, I didn't remember you or anyone else here. I had a whole new set of memories."

He looked at her desperately, not understanding what she was saying or if she was telling him that she wouldn't because of the life the curse had given her.

For several seconds she hesitated before continuing, taking deep breaths as reality settled around her. "It's enough to make anyone have doubts." She heard him heave a sigh of relief, wishing she believed any of what she was saying if it was only for him. But she didn't, she knew Emma and Regina would find a way to get Henry and she knew they wouldn't leave her. But he smiled slightly when she looked back to him, obviously happy she was listening to him. And so she nodded reluctantly, taking a deep breath before letting it out. "Will you visit me while I'm in here?" she asked.

He smiled before standing. "I'll see what I can do," he offered caustically before pulling on the rope attached to her cage so that she'd be lifted beside the other two.

She leaned back unhappily in her wobbly cage, letting exhaustion settle over her as she listened to him walking away.

"Hey," a voice whispered hushed from beside her.

She turned to the cage to her right and her heart thudded to a stop at who she saw. "Neal?"

…

Felix didn't get far before he was stopped by Pan. "She'll come back to us," he said assuredly, "she'll see it was a mistake."

Pan smiled less than amused. "You're so sure?" he asked, not thinking Felix was stupid enough to believe that. "I bet Neal's said hello by now, shall we see what she says then?"

He wanted to say no, because he knew she probably would confess everything to that stupid boy like she always had. But there no offering of refusal in Pan's eyes and so he stepped aside and let Pan walk back to the cages before following him, keeping quiet like he knew he had to if the two wouldn't know they were there.

"You were dead," they heard her say, her voice thick with tears at seeing he was in fact very much alive.

"That's a long story," Neal told her. "You really go against Pan?"

This was it, this would change everything and Felix crouched down beside Pan waiting a painfully long amount of time before she finally answered.

"It was a mistake," she said, the two almost not catching her soft voice from where they were.

Any other time he would have smiled or even laughed shortly in relief; but he didn't then, he stayed still and quiet as he waited for what Pan would do. Pan stayed where he was a few minutes longer, hearing Neal question her and then as she repeated herself.

"I told you," Felix said offhandedly when they'd walked away, "she'll come back."

Pan looked at him closely, searching for any sign of a lie and finding none on Felix's blank face. And so he smiled. "I suppose we'll have to see," he said before making to walk away.

But Felix called him back. "You sure it's a good idea to leave her by Neal, what if he convinces her to help him again?"

This was the Felix Pan knew, and this time when he smiled he actually meant it. "Don't worry Felix, he won't be there for too long. Though it wouldn't hurt if you visited her while he was there to keep her mind off him."

Felix nodded before travelling back to the camp, wondering if this would actually make a difference in the long run; whatever punishment Pan had in store for her it would end in her getting hurt. What other option did he have but to stomach it– she was so convinced her small little group would succeed, but Pan never failed. All he could was keep her out of it until it blew over.

…

There were so many questions Neal wanted to ask her, so many things he needed to know. But there was hardly a moment Felix wasn't there, guarding her from him it seemed. Neal only knew that Emma and Regina and her parents and Hook were here to get Henry back, and that she hadn't been apart of any of their plans so she didn't have much to offer him. She didn't say much else, at least not unless he spoke first. Other than that she sat against a corner of the cage curled up waiting for when Felix would come back and lower her to the ground so he could talk to her.

He sat against the wooden box staring up at the trees and the small twinkling of the stars he could just barely make out between the leaves. "So this," he paused as though the word put a bad taste in his mouth, "Storybrook, what was it like?"

She pressed herself against the place he was sitting, searching for his warmth which she could only just barely feel. "I don't really remember a whole lot before Emma came, it was kind of just a dull blur," she answered shrugging.

"Where'd you live?" he asked, trying to piece together why she was fighting for them.

"In a girl's home," she told him. "I wasn't very happy there."

He turned to her. "Didn't like all the girls?" he asked sarcastically. He saw the look in her eye, saw the sadness that had been there for years. "You were alone the entire time."

She leaned her head against the wood sighing, feeling his fingers running along the bars as though to stroke her hair. "I had Mother Superior, she took care of me. And Granny gave me free meals sometimes and let me stay in the diner until curfew. It wasn't all bad, I was just," she looked up at him, "lonely."

He looked closer at her to see her face was softer than he'd thought, almost content to be sitting there with him. "Did you miss me?" he asked, his mouth curving into a smirk.

She saw the mischief in his eyes and she looked away smiling. "A little bit," she said softly.

"Hmm," he hummed disbelieving, "you dreamed of me for twenty-eight years, I'd say that qualifies as more than a little," he said teasing, his eyes hot when she turned back to him.

She felt something in her stomach churn at the way he was looking at her and she bit her lip at the turn her thoughts took. "You know," she said looking around at the inside of her cage, "there's enough room for two in here."

His brow rose in surprise at her words and he looked to see her bottom lip between her teeth as she smiled at him. "Naughty girl," he said deeply, smiling at her in return before moving around to the front and undoing the latch.

She laid back as he crawled in to settle on top of her, pulling the cloak from his shoulders so she could better see his face. "Hi there," she whispered looking up at him, feeling the feather in his hair tickling her neck.

He looked from her mouth to her eyes and back again. "Hi," he said in return with a grin at the sight of her burning eyes. All the proof he needed that she'd missed him was here, in her eyes staring up at him waiting and her legs wrapped around him. She never had been very patient and he'd always loved to tease her, and it left her to grab his face and pull his mouth to hers, covering his smile with her lips as his hands moved around her waist.

Neal sat in his cage glaring at the wood above him, his hands pressed against his ears to muffle every gasp she made or Felix's occasional grunt. How many times he'd stumbled upon them like this, had been told to get Felix and found them with their pants down. He didn't know how long he waited until Felix crawled back out of the cage, pulling his pants up and tying them before latching her cage again. He waited silently until Felix hoisted her cage up beside his, and then until the other boy left. "Did you seriously have to do that now?" he asked irritably, hearing her faint laughter. "I'm serious, I was right here the whole time." He sat up and looked over at her cage, seeing from the shadow that she was laying down still, and she was still laughing. "This isn't funny Rapunzel," he told her though he was not fighting not to smile.

"I'm sorry," she tried to say, having forgot about him being up there for how quiet he was – and even if she had remembered him, she wouldn't have stopped.

"Liar," he said making her laugh all over again though this time he chuckled with her. It was good to hear her laugh, something he honestly hadn't thought he'd hear her do again. But after a short while she settled into silence and he knew she was trying to push all the thoughts of what was going to happen out of her mind. "What are you gonna do?" he asked, knowing that whatever calm pleasantness had left when Felix did.

"I don't wanna think about that," she said with a finality in her voice. No matter what way she looked at it anything that happened would hurt her in some way – and if they did take down Pan she didn't know what Felix would do, what they would do with Felix.

He looked over her at feeling nothing but sympathy for her, this wasn't something she should have to worry about; these weren't choices she should have to make. He understood how impossible this was for her, that she was invested in both sides. "You're gonna have to soon, because if they are coming then you know what'll happen."

"I know, Bae," she said cutting him short. "I'm just, I'm scared."

He looked hard at her cage, seeing she was curled against the side of it again though now she had her back to him. "I have no doubt Emma's gonna get Henry back. And I know," he paused a moment before continuing. "I know you." All she ever said when he asked was that she had chosen Pan, but he knew she hadn't.

She shook her head, too unhappy with everything to think clearly. "I know they will," she said, admitting aloud for anyone to hear that she knew Pan would lose. "But what then? What about Pan, how will they stop him?" she demanded turning to him, seeing him shake his head shrugging. "They're gonna kill him."

He stared at her for a minute confused, having been startled at hearing her confession, though he didn't see what was troubling her. "And?" he asked finally.

She stared at him appalled, wondering if at any point in the time he'd been here he'd actually enjoyed it. "What if I don't want him dead?"

"What?" Neal asked completely not understanding, having thought that's what she would have wanted.

But it wasn't. "He's Peter Pan," she said as a means of defense, "the first person to ever introduce themselves to me." She looked at him helplessly and shrugged. "I just don't wanna think about it."

Felix stood beside Pan hidden behind the trees, wondering what would happen now that Pan had heard her betrayal first hand. He knew keeping her near Neal had been a bad idea, now he worried it would get her killed.

"I was right the first time," Pan said quietly as he stared up at the part of her cage he could see through the leaves, "she's still ours."

Felix watched him go, hearing his footsteps until they suddenly stopped – and when he went to look he found Pan had gone, leaving him to deal with everything. He cast a last look toward her cage before returning to the camp, seeing now why she couldn't decide – no matter what happened she was going to lose.

The two were gone when Neal next spoke, though neither of them knew they'd been overheard. "What about Felix?" he asked. "What is it you're doing with him?"

She was quiet for several moments before she answered. "You called me Rapunzel."

His brows knitted in confusion until he realized she was right, he had, twice. "You called me Bae." Those names were so natural in this place, the names they went by sounding foreign and wrong. It was like old times. That was when he realized what she was doing, she was getting Felix back to when they'd been happy – she was making him love her as he had then. Because she knew Pan was going to lose, and she knew that meant he was going to die. And Felix had already twice now gone against what Pan wanted to keep her safe. She was trying to make sure that if given a choice Felix would choose her.

* * *

**_Thanks so much for the reviews guys and your personal opinions. It's pretty much the consensus that Felix live, so that's what I'm gonna do. But I'm gonna try to do in a way that still sticks with what the show did - and that's all I'll say cause I'm not giving anything away. Thanks again, it really does mean a lot to me that you guys review. They really make my day._**


	22. you only need the sun

**_Guest1: I'm sorry to say but I can't answer that at the moment because I don't want to give anything away - but it's coming soon, and I'm very excited to get there._**

**_Guest2: thank you for reviewing, and I agree that they do deserve a happy ending - unfortunately with how the show ended there is no Storybrooke, so they can't stay there._**

**_ Anna: thank you so so much, it means a lot to me to hear that you like it so much. And I'm so happy you like Rapunzel, it's hard making a new character and making her three dimensional and not just any old 17 year old brat. And that you like Felix, cause I made him a little different than how he is in the show._**

**_Guest3: thanks, I'm glad you think she's smart cause as Cami she's a lot more clever than Rapunzel cause she's had a bit more experience. And yeah, poor Neal had to sit there. And to answer your question, I might - it's gonna be pretty similar to how the original story of Rapunzel did it, only Gothel took her memories and left her alone after she was like 6. I might not actually change a whole lot from the show, I might just keep her and Felix separate from everyone else - but I CAN'T say anymore without giving stuff away. And I'm so close to it, and I'm super excited to get there._**

**_Guest4: thank you, I'm glad you like them together cause they're different from each other and yet I tried to make it so they changed each other in good ways. Cause Felix is almost a little softer in this story than he is on the show, though that's only with Rapunzel. And Cami's wising up on how things will go down and who's side Felix will choose. And about that happily ever after, you will have to see - but it's coming._**

* * *

She sat silently watching as the boys lowered Neal's cage not knowing where they taking him. But she did know one thing, he wasn't coming back. She knew it from the way Felix smirked at Neal, not even casting her a glance because the boys were already curious about who was in there, and of course the fact that they were carrying him away. Either way she was now alone with whoever had been beside Neal – the person Felix had lowered several times before and given some kind of a sedative.

"Hey," Cami said sitting on her knees as she tried to look at who was in the other cage. Their head was bowed though, and she couldn't see more than the white of their clothes. "There's no one around, you can talk to me," she offered but was still given no response. After a few minutes she sighed and sat back. "Pan told you not to talk to me."

Her voice was defeated, her hope in finding another friend gone. "Yes," a small light voice answered.

Cami sat up and looked at the other cage, having known that irritatingly sweet voice. "I know you," she said trying to figure it out.

"He never wanted you to know I was here," the girl's voice said sounding almost frightened.

She was talking about Pan, that much Cami knew – but that didn't answer who was speaking, except of course the only other girl to have come to Neverland. "Wendy?" she asked shocked, realizing in order for her to still be so young she would have been here while she herself had been. "When did he put you in a cage?"

"Please, we don't have much time so just listen," she begged Rapunzel. "I came back to save Bae but Pan got to me first. He said Bae had to leave so he couldn't see me, but he also said that you couldn't either. He said that girls were too clever, that's why they why they couldn't come to Neverland. He thought since you'd lived in a tower alone that you wouldn't be, but he said he saw now that you were more clever than even me because you were starting to see everything."

"What are you talking about?" Cami asked not understanding what Wendy was saying.

But Wendy shook her head. "He's going to come and take me so we can't talk, so you have to listen. You're right about him, you always have been. I didn't understand what he meant then but I've been thinking about it. You saw the good in everyone, you saw it in Felix and Hook. But there's no good in him, and even then you saw that you just didn't know it. But he said that it was my fault, that if I hadn't come to Neverland you never would have wanted to leave."

Cami remembered what Pan had said before she left Neverland, that she'd been unhappy before Baelfire. But that still didn't make sense to her, because she hadn't thought these things about Pan – she was still only just starting to.

Wendy looked at her pleading. "That's why you didn't like me," she told Rapunzel, "I was fooled by him, I trusted him. I was being stupid and you saw that. You've seen through him the entire time but you didn't understand it, that's why you weren't happy here. And it wasn't until I came that you started to figure it out. That's why he sent me back. Because I," her voice suddenly cut off when she felt Pan near and she scooted to the other side of her cage and staid as quiet as she could.

There were so many things Cami didn't understand, so many questions she wanted to ask. Like what Wendy meant she saw through Pan – that there wasn't good in him. But she felt the same thing Wendy did and she knew Pan was there, and so she kept her mouth shut. The moment he turned dark eyes to her cage she knew he'd overheard, and she also realized what Wendy had meant – she had fallen for Pan's lies, but after years and years she saw how false they were.

She kept quiet as the boys lowered Wendy to the ground. "You know where to take her," he told the others, still glaring up at her cage. He waited until all but Felix had left before untying the rope that hung her cage and letting it fall heavily to the ground.

"Pan," Felix cried outraged, hearing Rapunzel cry out when she landed hard on the ground. He closed his mouth and waited when Pan turned to him with dark eyes.

"Are you defying me?" he asked, his voice an angry warning. He smiled when Felix said nothing, as he knew Felix would do. "Do as I say."

Cami sat up in the cage, feeling the bruises she'd have later. She wanted to call out to Felix, to beg him not to leave her – but she knew he'd do as Pan said, giving her nothing more than a long look before turning his back on her. So instead she looked to Pan and watched as he knelt in front of her cage.

His eyes were more angry than she'd ever seen them, his smile twisted and sinister as he looked at her. "We need to have a little chat."

…

"Emma," Neal said grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the others.

She sighed shaking her head. "Look I know you said you were okay with," she paused to take a breath, remembering the look on his face when she told him her darkest secret, "what I said."

"No," Neal said quickly to make her stop, "this isn't about that. It's about Cami."

Emma's eyes widened. "Did you see her, is she okay?" she asked quickly barely taking a breath.

He smiled. "I see you two are getting along now," he said amused though Emma waited impatiently for him to answer. "She's in a cage," he told her seriously, wondering what Pan would do with her now.

Guilt flooded her eyes at that. "She chose us," she said softly, "and he put her in a cage."

Neal nodded knowing how that sounded. "It gets worse," he told her. "He wants her dead. I know," Neal was quick to say when Emma's eyes widened further. "Felix is the only reason why he hasn't killed her yet, which means when this goes down Felix needs to be kept alive."

She took a minute to think this all over, having not planned on killed any of the boys when that's all they were – boys. "If what Cami said is true then he'll choose Pan over her. How are we supposed to keep him alive?"

And that's the problem Neal had been faced with every time he thought of a plan; Felix always got in the way. "We'll have to separate the boys from Pan, and keep them separated."

Emma nodded, a plan forming about how to do that. "First we need to find a way out of this place," she said still no closer to figuring that part out.

But Neal smiled at her. "I know a way," he told her confidently. And he did, because Rapunzel had helped him come up with it many years ago.

…

"You going to come out?" Pan asked irritably as he stood by her now open cage waiting for her get out.

She stared up at him from within the wood, feeling safer in there. "Will you kill me when I do?"

He laughed shaking his head, done playing nice, before kneeling once more and grabbing whatever he found first and dragging her out. He dropped her leg and stared down at her when he'd finished to see her wide eyes and hear her heavy breathing. "Well I did ask first," he told her before yanking her to her feet. "So tell me Rapunzel," he said staring down at her, "what am I supposed to do with you now? You've declared yourself my enemy?"

She stared at him untrustingly. "What you'd do to anyone else," she answered unkindly, not being fooled by his false look of disappointment.

"But you see," he said looking at her, "you're not anyone else. You're my lost girl."

After so many years it was almost unbearable trying to not believe him, to not forgive every wrong and apologize for doubting him at the sight of his perfectly hurt face. "Please stop, just stop," she begged taking a step back.

His hand on her arm kept her close to him, knowing he was breaking her down. "Why?" he asked her gently, "because you know I've only ever cared about you?"

She stared at him almost disgusted, remembering Hook's warning that he was a bloody demon, wondering how it was she had been fooled by him for so long. "You've never done anything that wasn't in your own best interest," she said spitefully, tired of her emotions being played with and even more tired of seeing him play with Felix's - this was why he'd always choose Pan, because Pan was just so good at looking like he cared. But she saw the flash of shocked rage flick across his eyes before he hid it with a smile, but she'd seen it.

"How could I have possibly benefitted from having you here?" he asked as though he were hurt by her words.

"You could have benefitted in a lot of ways before Felix," she told him, proving she knew how much he had tried to like her.

"What about after," he said quickly, "what purpose would you have served to me then?"

She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know, Peter, what purpose did I serve?"

He stared at her silently for a moment, staring hard at her face and in her eyes before he smiled. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Rapunzel," he said cupping her head in his hands, "you serve me no purpose. I don't need you for anything. I want you here only because I want you here, why do you doubt me?" He saw the questioning in her eyes, saw the want to believe in him, but he also saw that she didn't buy it. "Why can't you see that I do care about you?"

She took in every inch of his face, seeing the perfect amount of hurt beneath his hope, seeing his gentleness covering the darkness. "Because you don't care about me," she said, her voice rising as anger flooded through her.

He laughed softly and shook his head. "But I do, Rapunzel. I care so much about you."

"Stop saying that," she yelled "like it means something."

He looked at her with his brows raised, surprised by her outburst - it was completely unknown in relation to her, the Rapunzel he knew was soft and sweet. "It does mean something. I care about you."

She shoved his arms away from her. "Stop," she yelled trying to step away from him.

But he only stepped closer, refusing to stop in the hopes that she'd fall under his spell once more and they could forget all of this. "I care about you," he said slowly.

"I don't believe you!" she cried, knowing the moment she said don't and believe that it sealed her fate. Neverland was based on belief, it was the worst thing she could have said to him. "I don't believe you anymore," she said through grit teeth, signing her death sentence.

He stared at her utterly shocked speechless by her words, then all pretense of gentleness and care dropped from his face. A smile was slashed onto his face at her gasp when he grabbed her hair and began dragging her back to the cage. He had no patience left for her, no care at all as small as it had been, and he forced her to knees before throwing her inside and slamming the door closed.

"Peter," Felix said loudly trying to make him stop before he decided to hurt her.

Pan turned to see Felix's wide eyes, his own breathing was erratic and heavy as his hands shook with the want to wrap around her throat. "You are not to visit her again unless I give you my word," he said threateningly before stalking away.

Felix rushed after him. "She didn't mean it," he said trying to fix what she'd just done.

Pan turned on him. "I care for her," he told him. "I took her in and loved her as though she were my child, and this is how I am thanked?"

He didn't dare defend her, not now after everything she'd said. It was so clear now that her decision had been final, that she hadn't planned on coming back, that she possibly never had planned to come back.

"Hang her back up, and I mean what I said before. She doesn't get to see you," Pan said softly before turning, the hurt and pain dropping from his face and a smile curling on his mouth at knowing he'd now turned Felix against her.

Felix stopped beside the tree he'd tie the rope to not coming any closer to her. "What is you're trying to do?" he demanded.

His face was void of any feeling besides anger, anger at her. She hadn't moved where Pan had thrown her, knowing now there wasn't a chance Felix would go with her - or even think of not fighting for Pan which would do no more than get him killed. "He's lying to you, he's been lying the whole time," she told him knowing he wouldn't believe her.

The smirk that lifted his mouth was nothing but cruel. "You asked why he wanted Henry," he said hoisting her cage, trying to make her hurt more than he was, "Pan needs the heart of the truest believer and you were right, the boy will die. See you around, Cami," he said bitterly before turning on his heel and leaving her to mull over that new revelation. It had taken everything he had not to turn back at the sound of her calling his name, but he refused.

She was left trapped behind wooden bars knowing Henry would die and being able to do absolutely nothing about it; and it was driving her mad not knowing where the others were and how close they were to coming to save him. She didn't know how long she was up there, hours or days it was all the same numb slow moving of time. And then there was silence, seconds before there had been distant hollering and laughing but it was quieted suddenly - something had happened. It was another few minutes of her sitting as she strained to hear and not being close enough before the sound of footsteps coming closer reached her ears.

They stopped beneath her cage and stared up smiling when they caught sight of her blonde hair. "Good to see you in one piece, little flower."

* * *

**_Okay so the show, when it comes back, is going to do Rapunzel (which I've been waiting for them to do since I started this story) - I'm kind of excited and kind of not considering the person they got to play her. But in this story I'm not gonna address that at all, the only Rapunzel in this story will be Cami. Just to let everyone know in case anyone was wondering._**


	23. when it starts to snow

Neal kept a hand on Wendy's shoulder and looked around him. "This isn't where our cages were kept," he said before turning and searching for another cage.

"He didn't want me near her," Wendy told him softly causing him to look down at her. "Her cage is still further over there, I don't know if she's still in it though."

Neal nodded before going back into the camp. "Rapunzel," he called, suddenly worried Pan had done something to her.

"I've got her," they heard Hook call back.

That was enough to make Neal rush toward the sound of his voice and gather her in his arms when he saw her. "I was so worried he'd hurt you," he said quietly as he clung to her, knowing this all started because of him.

Cami held tight to his shirt relieved to see he was alright as well – having not known where he'd been taken. "I'm fine," she told him.

"Good," he said holding her away from him to look her over. "Hey, do you know anything about why Pan needs the heart of the truest believer?"

She remembered Felix's cruel words. "It's Henry, and that means he's in danger."

Neal nodded sighing as he squeezed her arm before letting her go. "She knows about as much as we do," he said when Emma stopped beside him.

She looked at him briefly before turning back to Cami. "Good to see you again, kid," she said almost fondly, having grown more worried about her the longer she'd been gone. Cami gave her a small smile before looking around at the now unconscious boys.

Neal was still watching Cami curiously, wondering why Pan had kept her separated from Wendy. "Why do I get the feeling you pissed him off?" he asked. He nearly groaned when he saw her guilty smile. "You did, didn't you?"

She felt more like she was grimacing and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Really bad," she admitted reluctantly, knowing she hadn't done herself any favors.

"Seems I've rubbed off on you," Hook said from behind her sounding almost proud. He raised a brow at Emma's look before she turned shaking her head to see about the other girl.

Mary Margaret searched for a blanket before wrapping it around it around poor Wendy and leading her to a place to sit, David coming up behind her with a cup of water; leaving them all to gather around so they could question her.

Neal moved to kneel beside his old friend. "Hey Wendy, since you've been here have you seen my son?" he asked gently. "His name's Henry?"

…

Felix was returning to the camp, Pan having asked him to find Tink since they hadn't seen her in days. But the moment he got within a hundred feet of the camp he knew something was wrong, it was much too quiet. And looking closer through the trees he saw the boys lying on the ground and the group from Storybrook standing in the midst of them with Wendy. He needed to find Pan, and fast considering he was taking Henry to Skull Rock. But he was stilled by the tip of a knife digging into his back.

"Turn around."

The voice alone would have made him turn, so shocked was he at hearing her and knowing she was holding a weapon against him.

…

Hook listened to Wendy tell them the truth about why Pan needed Emma's son, until he realized something; no one was standing beside him. "Ms Swan," he said almost timidly, knowing she wouldn't be pleased now that she knew Pan planned to kill her son, "we might have a small problem."

She turned him not wanting to deal with anything other than finding Henry. "Seriously," she cried jumping to her feet when she saw Cami wasn't there. "Now, she's gone now?"

Hook opened his mouth to speak and only sighed holding his hand and hook up in surrender. "She was right here last I saw her," he said wondering how Rapunzel could be so quiet.

"Of all the times to," she paused when she saw Neal frantically lift an unconscious boy and drop him back on the ground. "What are you doing?"

"Felix isn't here," he said turning to her with a sinking stomach. He could see from the shock in Emma's eyes that Cami had snuck off for the boy many times before, and that now was the worst time she could've done so.

"Do you think she went after him to warn him?" Emma asked no longer sure at all what Cami would do for him.

Regina shook her head. "She wouldn't do that," she said in defense. "She cares about Henry too."

"Yeah," Emma said turning to her, "but she cares about Felix a lot more."

"Hook?" Mary Margaret said questioningly capturing all their attention. "What did you do with the dagger David gave you?"

Hook looked down grabbing the sheath he'd tied around his waist earlier to find what Mary Margaret had: it was gone.

…

"What are you doing, Rapunzel?" Felix asked her too surprised to think.

Her eyes were cold as she stared at him now pointing the blade at his heart. "Drop your club," she ordered.

It were as though the wind had been knocked out of him at the realization she had completely and truly betrayed them. "You don't have to do this," he said trying to step closer before she dug the tip of the dagger into his chest, keeping him back. "I can still save you, I can convince him to give you another chance."

"Drop. It." she ordered dangerously, no more patience to listen to his complete ignorance of what was so blindly true. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to be doing this; but Felix needed to be in the camp away from Pan. It was the only way she knew he'd live. No matter how much he would hate her for it.

Emma had just sworn to her parents that they would all be going home when they heard footsteps, making them all turn to find Felix stepping from the trees with a murderous face and his hands raised in a mock surrender. Hook grabbed him and threw him onto a spot roughly, not caring if he hurt him for all the pain that was evident in Rapunzel's eyes as she had moved behind him. He took the dagger back from her, watching as she turned away from Felix so he couldn't see just how much he'd hurt her.

"Hey," Emma said standing in front of her and seeing from her chin that she was trying not to cry. "I'm gonna hug you," she told her quietly, "don't say anything. Just take it." She waited until Cami nodded before wrapping her arms around the girl, surprised when she felt Cami's small hands coming around her back.

"Tink and I will take care of things here, and look after Rapunzel. Meet us at the Jolly Roger when you find Henry," Hook said when the two stepped apart, their hands falling awkwardly to their sides at the unusual display of affection for the other. He placed his hand on her shoulder and kept her at his side, giving Felix a long hard look before turning back to the others to watch them go. "Come on," he said looking down at Rapunzel's sad face, "let's get them tied up." He grabbed some rope and turned to Felix. "Starting with you."

Felix looked to Rapunzel, against all hope, hoping to see her wink or smile that this was all part of some plan and that she really wasn't siding against him. But all he saw was her defeated face, her decision weighing heavy on her to the point of suffocation. He might have been more infuriated with her, hated her more, if she didn't look so broken. She didn't even help tie up the boys, how could she when she knew most all of them by name, instead she stood off to the side staring up at the shrouded night sky.

"Rapunzel?" Tommy said in hopeful disbelief when he saw her after he woke, causing the other boys to turn and try to get a look at her – she said nothing, she didn't even turn to offer them a smile. She did not think she could bear to look any of them in the eye when they all so clearly knew her betrayal, not with Felix sat staring heatedly at her; she wouldn't be able to keep herself from crying if she did, and she was stronger than that. So she didn't move.

Hook and Tink looked at one another sadly knowing how hard this was on her, both having liked Rapunzel more than anyone else in Neverland. They were all startled and nearly taken off their feet by a surge of magic slamming into them, and Hook looked to Rapunzel and Tink to see they were both alright. "Do think that was it?" he asked, entirely unsure of what that had been.

"I don't know," Tinker Bell shrugged, a sinking feeling in her stomach rather than relief.

But Cami knew. She turned wide eyed to Felix to find him staring her, not smug or happily, but looking at her with her heavy eyes filled with acceptance. "That wasn't good," she told Hook softly, looking up at him to see he understood that meant Pan was all-powerful and Henry was dead. It meant they lost. It meant it wasn't over. And Cami was left wondering if it would ever be over, if happiness was ever something she could have or if it were only a dream.

…

"Okay enough," Emma said exhausted by Regina's biting words.

"Don't tell me what's enough," Regina said close to tears as she looked down at Henry's lifeless body, "my son is dying."

She looked at Regina having thought they'd come to an understanding at some point in their time together, and even more hurt that she thought she didn't care about Henry. "Our son. I know how you feel."

"You have no idea what I feel," she said lashing out as she tried to calm the storm that raged inside her. "You have your parents, you have this," she said motioning to Neal not sure of what to call him, "person, a pirate who pines for you. You have everything. And yet you claim to know what I feel?" she asked, her voice thick with tears. "All I have is Henry, and I am not about to lose him because he is everything."

Emma knelt beside her. She used to know how Regina felt, she used to know how alone having no one but one person left you – how losing that one person made you break inside. But she didn't know that feeling anymore, because she finally had a family. "You're right," she said softly, "I don't know how you feel. But Cami does," she told her, watching the realization flash in Regina's dark eyes, "she's here with us turning her back on everyone she used to call family to save Henry. Because she cares about him, and because she loves you. So what do you wanna do? You want to run the show? Run it. How do we save Henry?"

…

"Stay with Hook and Tink and watch the boys," Mary Margaret told Cami when she saw Emma and the others, her eyes widening when she saw Neal carrying Henry's body.

Cami looked after them unhappily, wishing there were something else she could actually do then just stand around. But there was nothing, because she didn't know where Pan was anymore than they did. Felix would, but he wouldn't talk. Instead he sat staring at her silently, obviously not happy though his gaze was not laced with anger, but rather contempt.

The rest of the boys looked between Rapunzel and Felix, seeing she couldn't even look at him and seeing that he couldn't take his eyes off her – it was the fact that he didn't look like he hated her, like he should because she was betraying Pan. It made them wonder if maybe they shouldn't hate her too. Because she had been closer to Pan than most of them, all but Felix. And if someone who'd been so close Pan was now turning against him, they wondered if maybe she was right.

"Where's the other one?" Tinker Bell whispered to Hook and Cami.

Hook looked down at her with a raised brow. "Rumpelstiltskin?" he asked for clarification.

"You mean Pan's son," Cami grumbled irritably, Hook having told her shortly after the others had first left. "I mean seriously, is everyone related?"

He smiled briefly shaking his head, it did seem that way. "My guess is Pan has him."

"Bet you're real broken up by that," Cami said almost smiling, feeling laughter bubble in her chest when he nudged her with his shoulder.

He was happy to see a smile on her perpetually sad face, happy to see she was still able to smile after everything. "You don't seem very bothered either," he commented.

She shrugged. "I never really liked him," she told him.

"Why not, if I may ask?" It was unusual for her not to like people, at least as Rapunzel because she'd always been kind.

She crossed her arms over her chest as though to protect herself. "He turned Regina against me," she answered. "He convinced her I was a weakness, and she pulled away. Guess that carried over into Storybrook as well."

He could hear the bitter tone in her voice entwined with years of lonely sadness. "I know what that's like," he said stepping closer to her, "to not be enough."

She nodded giving a rueful smile. "I'm not enough for anyone." That's what she'd come to realize; not Regina, not Felix, not Baelfire, not even her own parents who she knew nothing about.

Felix wanted to hate her for saying that, because he knew she was including him in that – but he couldn't because she was right. And he hated everyone she'd come with, thinking it was their fault for making her question him and Pan – if she had only stayed then she wouldn't be so broken. She would have been happy with him, they would have been with Pan that very moment instead of here. He wanted the boy to die, he wanted them all to. Rapunzel would get over it, he'd hold her and let her cry but after a few years they'd be nothing more than a memory.

She didn't like the look on his face, it was dark and twisted as he stared at where Henry was. She couldn't let herself believe that he was so blinded by Pan's lies that he thought this was right – that a good person dying was okay if it was for Pan. She couldn't let herself believe it, because if that were true than what kind of person did it make her for loving him even then.

"Where is he!" Regina yelled stalking toward Felix, knowing he'd know where Pan was and not caring that Cami loved him.

"Gone," Felix answered smugly as she grabbed him. "There's nothing you can do, he's already won. Pan never fails."

He was being cruel, viciously callous; this wasn't the Felix Cami knew. "You won't talk," Regina said nearly baring her teeth. "How about I make you talk," she growled before raising her hand to take his heart.

"Regina," Cami yelled the same moment Emma grabbed her.

"Regina wait," Emma said quietly, glancing at Cami briefly before turning back to the other woman.

She turned to Emma. "There's no time," she said as Emma pulled her away from the boy, not caring if she hurt Cami by hurting him.

Cami looked over her shoulder when someone grabbed her arm to find Neal. "Let go," she whispered to him trying to pull her arm away. His eyes were full of guilt as he held fast to her, and she realized he wouldn't stop Regina from hurting Felix – he'd hurt Felix himself if it helped Henry, not really giving her any thought as he did it. They all would, because no one cared about her and they certainly didn't care about Felix. "Get your hands off of me," she said, her voice only a breath though there was fire in her eyes.

Neal looked over at Emma and jerked his head to the trees behind him, waiting until she nodded before he dragged Cami into the trees away from the others. The boys saw her resisting, saw she was trying to get Baelfire to let her go so she could stand by Felix. It confused them, it confused even her own group because she had made her decision and now she was going back on it.

"What are you doing?" she demanded trying to wrench herself out of his grasp as he brought her a little further into the jungle: far enough that Felix's yells were too muffled to hear or even know it was him. "Didn't you see her trying to hurt him?"

"Rapunzel," he said grabbing her other arm and shaking her, trying to jog her mind back into focus.

"She'd kill him if it'd help Henry, she doesn't care about me. None of you do," she said trying to hit him.

"Cami," he cried giving her a sharp jolt, feeling her still at the sound of her name. "Hey," he said smoothing her hair back, "look at me. It's Pan, he's doing this."

"How?" she asked though she knew it was true, she could feel a fog shifting in her brain. "Why?"

"What would it look like to the others if you were on our side and started doubting us. They'd never trust us enough to help," he explained, all he could think of for why Pan was trying to get her back to him. "They would follow you. It would make sense if it was only Felix who was fighting for Pan, but if you did too," he trailed letting her understand on her own.

She had completely missed the feeling of her mind growing cloudy, Pan's compulsion hiding behind her emotions and taking root in her thoughts. But it left her then, and she leaned against Neal utterly exhausted. "I wanna go home," she said softly, wishing against all common sense it was Felix who's arms were around her.

"I know," Neal soothed. "We're gonna go home, everything'll be fine." He stood holding her a few minutes longer feeling her relax against him as all she worried about was breathing. "Come on," he said holding out his hand, giving her a small smile when she took it. He stopped for a moment when they passed by where Henry was, sighing at how dead his son looked before continuing back to the camp to hear the end of where Pan was.

"You know where that is?" Emma asked Hook.

"Aye," he nodded, "the region is deserted now. No one but Pan has set foot in those woods in centuries."

Felix looked over his shoulder when he felt Rapunzel behind him, his eyes hardening as he was faced with the fact that she was right; her stupid group never gave up. He didn't like how close they were to her, as though they had any right to think of her as their's, she wasn't – she was his. And there she was betraying him.

She looked down at where he sat, meeting his angry gaze with her own soft eyes. Shock registered in his eyes when she reached out her hand and pulled his hood off, brushing the hair out of his eyes fondly – as she had done an uncountable amount of times before. And then she let her hand fall to her side as she stepped away.

"You ready to go home?" Hook asked her, seeing on her face love was not any kinder to her than it was to him.

Home. Such a funny word with so many different meanings and emotions. Looking around the jungle now she couldn't believe she called this place home, it was so dark and unforgiving, like the cruel boy who ruled it. "Yeah," she breathed, feeling it in a whoosh of air leaving her lungs that she was finally done with this place.

* * *

**_So this is the place I'm ending the episode, because all the stuff on the ship she's not really apart of - she kind of doesn't really have a place taking away from the family feels. So I'll start next chapter with them arriving back in Storybrook. I hope everyone's still enjoying it, there was a significant drop in the number of reviews last chapter so I'm not sure whether people just didn't like it or if it was something else. _**

**_Anna: thank you so much, your review really made my day it was so kind. I guess I won't answer whether or not it was Hook because that comes pretty early on. And Felix will figure out she's right about Pan, a little bit too late but he'll get there. And I'm glad you're happy I'm not killing him off, cause after all this I really didn't want to._**

**_Guest: thank you. He will believe her eventually, however he's a little slow on it._**


	24. you only know you love him

**_Thanks so much for the reviews guys, it really meant a lot. Especially to the guests who I couldn't thank personally. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas - and for those who don't celebrate Christmas I hope you're having a great winter break. The way that I change Felix's death is next chapter, and I'm so excited to finally be there. Thanks again everyone._**

* * *

Cami sat against the side of the ship with Tommy on her left and David and Mary Margaret standing on her right. Tommy was talking excitedly about what had happened after she'd left, which didn't account for much – without the pirates there wasn't much danger or excitement to be found. But in all truth, she wasn't really listening.

"He missed you, you know," he told her softly after looking over at her to see her trying not to look at Felix. "And I know he's glad you're back. He just needs a little time to see you were right," he tried to say to make her feel better.

Time wouldn't do anything but make Felix hate her more, but she didn't say that. She turned to Tommy to see his sweet loveable face – a face that reminded her of Henry – and she smiled softly. "I missed you too," she said making him duck his head and smile before wrapping his arms around her.

He asked her of Storybrook, why she had stayed there so long even after the curse had lifted. The answer, she found, was not so simple. She couldn't say it was because she liked it there better – she could, it would just hurt his and the other boys' feelings. So instead she told him of the people she'd lived with. Of Grumpy who would help her carry her books back to the church, before and after the curse – though he'd been much nicer about it after the curse. And Archie who'd stop her and ask her how she was, offering her some small piece of advice or a little saying that'd make her smile. And she told Tommy about Granny and Ruby who'd give her a meal on the house every once in a while; and who always gave her hot chocolate when she studied in one of the booths. And then of Grant, who had been the Huntsman she'd never seen after the curse had lifted. She told Tommy of how Grant would help her study, and how he always walked her home when it was late, and how he'd taught her to drive. Well, she had wanted to tell Tommy all of those things but she'd been struck mute after saying his name – her eyes filling with tears as she tried to swallow the knot in her throat. And so after a few minutes of sitting and breathing she told him about Mother Superior and how she'd always been there to take care of her – and how she hadn't realized just how important Mother Superior was to her.

"So she was like your mother?" Tommy asked.

Cami nodded, smiling almost fondly. "Yeah, for a while."

"Why would ever want to come back to Neverland?" he asked amazed that she'd left a place where so many people cared about her.

That answer was simple, easy, familiar. All she had to do was turn her head slightly and Felix was in her line of sight, sitting with a plate in hand and Henry beside him. That brought her up short, because from what she remembered Felix hadn't liked the boy at all. And it left her wondering – she may have figured it all out then if they hadn't broken through the clouds, but they did and she was on her feet watching as they came closer to the town.

Everyone was waiting at the dock for the ship, cheering and yelling as they greeted them; even Cami was smiling, so happy was she to be back. Felix watched her closely, watched as the people reached out to her, patting her shoulder or her back and some even hugging her. But his sights were set on a particular woman, with brown hair coiled in a bun – a woman who Cami had completely stilled when she saw her. It wasn't that she had run and thrown her arms around the woman, or the way that the woman held her in return, that's not how Felix knew this woman was important to her. It was Rapunzel's smile, her sweet smile full of joy and love – one he hadn't seen in more years than he could remember.

"Don't worry," Henry said walking to where he stood to see him watching Rapunzel, "it won't last long."

Felix looked down at the body Pan had switched to, almost wishing it was someone else – there were so many reasons why Rapunzel would never forgive him for this, and there was still a part of him holding out hope that somehow she'd come back to him.

"What do you have in mind, Peter?" he asked him.

…

"How did I not know I was gonna miss you?" Cami asked as Mother Superior held her away from her and looked her over.

She glanced at Cami's dirty clothes and her messy hair, the smudge of dirt on her chin, and smiled. "I knew you would," she told her gently. "You always came back," she said in answer to her confused look.

Cami nodded realizing it was true, even after she and Regina had gotten close again she'd always gone back to the church – it was home. "So will the boys be staying in the church, there's enough room?"

"Not in the attic," David said butting in causing them both to turn to him in surprise.

"In the basement," Cami told him appalled at his thinking.

His brows were furrowed as he stared down at her before he nodded. "Alright, and that's how it'll stay," he said sounding very much like a father.

Cami turned back to Mother Superior smiling when Mary Margaret pulled him away. "Well I should go get them settled in," Mother Superior told her brushing a strand of hair behind Cami's ear. "I'll see you at the diner."

She watched Mother Superior gather the boys together to go, waving at Tommy, before turning to David. "The attic? Really?" she asked astounded by the suggestion.

He smiled before throwing an arm around her. "Just looking out for you kid," he told her amused when she rolled her eyes.

She could have said that she was older than him, could have said she had been looking after herself long before she actually got to know him. But she didn't, she took his care with a smile and laugh because sometimes it felt good to know there was someone looking out for you.

"Hey mom, dad," Henry yelled catching the now smaller group's attention and causing them to turn, "what are we gonna do about Felix, he's still free?"

Cami stared at Felix feeling David's arm slipping from her around her as he walked to the boy. She got the same feeling as she had on the ship when she saw Henry beside him; something was wrong. But as quickly as she thought it, it was gone.

"He's right, we can't just let Felix walk away freely," Regina said, hating the boy for wanting her son dead – and if it weren't for Cami she may have already killed him.

David moved to stand beside him. "Don't worry," he said grabbing Felix's arm, "we got plenty of cell space for this guy."

She watched helplessly as David dragged him off, meeting his eye briefly before they rounded a corner. "Hey," Neal said standing beside her, "you're not having second thoughts are you." He said it jokingly but she could hear the seriousness in his voice as he waited for her answer.

"No," she said shaking her head. "This was the right choice, but it doesn't make it easier," she told him before stuffing her hands in her pockets and walking away.

…

Felix stumbled from how David threw him into the cell, gritting his teeth as he fought to keep his mouth shut. He wanted to throw it in all their faces that even then Pan was still winning; but he stayed silent.

David gave him a last hard look before turning and finding Cami down the hall. "I can't leave you alone with him," he told her, honestly not trusting her not to let him out – though he couldn't blame her if she did, he knew love when he saw it.

She nodded knowing it was what he'd say. "Can I at least have a minute?" she asked, breathing relieved when he reluctantly agreed.

Cami could tell he was surprised she'd come, could see it in the way he moved to stand as close to her as he could behind the bars. She could feel him, his warmth, his hand grasping hers as he tried to pull her closer – it wasn't enough. He could still feel her hand brushing through his hair, after everything that happened to still see she loved him. He wanted to tell her about Pan, not to throw it in her face but to prove to her he was right so that she would come back; so that maybe she'd be spared. But he knew from the way David leaned against the wall behind her glaring at him, if he said a word she'd tell them because she'd chosen her side. And he should hate her for it, but he couldn't. He loved her too much.

"We should get going, I'm sure the party's already started," David said pleasantly enough, his eyes dark and spiteful as he glared at Felix over her head.

She looked up at Felix wishing she could wrap her arms around him and seek solace against his chest. "I'll come by tomorrow," she said though it sounded more a question. If she didn't know him so well she would have missed the answer in his eyes, the way they softened slightly before he stepped back. David's hand on her shoulder forced to her away and out of the jail, him knowing well enough that she didn't really want to talk and so he stayed quiet as they walked to the diner, the sun already setting by the time they arrived.

Cami slid herself into a booth and sat alone as everyone around her talked loudly and laughed, all happy that everything was alright again. "You're not leaving already?" Regina asked making her way over to Cami when she saw her stand and inch toward the door.

She tried for a smile and some sort of happiness. "I was gonna take a shower, it's been awhile," she told her, relieved when Regina smiled and agreed.

"You know you can always stay with me," Regina offered happily, leaving Cami grasping for something to say. She was saved by the one person who could always make Regina forget about her.

"Hey mom," Henry said from behind her, winking at Cami before Regina turned.

Though that wink unsettled her, for it was much too familiar and entirely unrelated to Henry, she took the moment to slip out the door unnoticed and into the night.

She took her shower, not remembering how she'd survived so long in a place that didn't have them, spending more time than she was allowed under the warm spray before drying off and dressing for bed.

"Come in," she said when she heard soft knocking on her door.

Mother Superior came in and sat on the edge of the bed. "I bet it's a relief to have one of these again."

"Days of sleeping on the ground, you have no idea," Cami said making them both laugh briefly.

Mother Superior pulled the covers up when Cami laid down, smoothing the hair out of her face, and kissing her forehead. "I'm glad you are back, and safe," she told her softly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night," Cami whispered curling beneath the blankets as Mother Superior turned out the light and closed the door. She was warm and safe in her bed, and for the first time in days a sense of comfort finally settled over her as it hadn't in Neverland.

…

Her clock read 3:23 when she opened her eyes, squinting to see in the dark. It took her a moment before she realized what had woken her and she sat up turning to the tapping at the window to see a dark figure. Her breaths could not keep up with the frantic beat of her heart, thinking somehow Pan had gotten out of the box and was now sending his shadow to kill her. At least until she saw that the figure was wearing a hooded cloak, and then she was rushing to unlock to window.

"You can't be here," she said quietly as she stepped back.

Felix stepped in and closed the window behind him, snapping the lock back into place. "I know," he told her, seeing the shock on her face in the moonlight. Her eyes were glancing back and forth over his face, something he knew to be her thinking – that always seemed to be the problem: she thought too much, and she was smart. "Stop," he said taking her face in his hands and forcing her to focus on him, "thinking." He could see she was waiting for him to tell him why he was there, how he was there. "I'm here," was all he told her as an answer. "Just be here with me."

She shouldn't listen to him, it was obvious he knew what was going on and why she had a sick feeling every time she looked at Henry. He knew, and he was here and he shouldn't have been because no one but Pan would let him out of the cell. There were so many things that she should think about – that she would have figured out if she had thought about them. But this is what he'd counted on, that she wanted him to be here with her more than she cared about the why. And so he kissed her, forcing all other thoughts out of her mind as he lowered her on the bed.

All that could be heard was the slight squeaking of the bedframe as it moved rhythmically in tune with his hips. Though a few minutes and it was silent once more, both him and her breathing deeply through their noses as she laid over his chest. With each exhale she forced rising thoughts out of her head, knowing something was horribly wrong for him to be here but finding that she didn't care enough to question anymore that night. And she didn't dare ask him anything, to even say anything when all it would take was a few words to unravel the peace they now bathed in. So she closed her eyes and willed her mind blank, letting his hand running along her waist lull her back to sleep.

"Good morning, Cami," Mother Superior said walking across the room and pulling the curtains to let the light in.

Cami looked to her clock to find that it had been six hours since she'd let Felix into the attic, and at that thought she pulled the blanket closer thankful it was curled under her chin covering her bare shoulders.

"I figured since you just got back that you were tired so I let you sleep an hour later," she explained as she moved back to the door. "But we still saved some breakfast for you when you get ready to come down."

Cami smiled, surprised she'd been allowed to sleep until nine; that never happened. "I'll take a quick shower and be down."

"Alright. I have to step out for a bit but I'll be back later," Mother Superior said as she made for the door, stopping and turning back to her. "It's good to have you back," she told Cami softly, smiling, before closing the door behind her.

Cami sat up when she left and looked around wondering where Felix had gone, finding the clothes they'd carelessly thrown on the floor had also gone. She opened the door to the bathroom to find Felix staring at the nozzles to the shower with their clothes in a pile at his feet. Moving in front of him she twisted it to warm and stepped back to let it heat up. "So what's your plan for the day?" she asked curiously, knowing he wouldn't just stay here.

He smirked before backing her against the wall. "You see, I'm not telling you that," he said smiling at the look in her eye before he kissed her and reached for his clothes. "I'll be back after the sun sets," he told her as he dressed, looking down at her to see her unhappy face.

"Where are you going?" she asked, now knowing he'd been broken out of his cell for a reason.

"Rapunzel," he said brushing her hair back and looking down at her fondly, "I'm not telling you that either." He pressed a quick kiss to her mouth before opening the shower curtain and nudging her inside.

Against all odds she hoped that when she finished showering she'd find him in her room, having not been able to leave her now that he'd come here. But he was gone. She didn't even have to look around the room to know it – she could feel it tight in her chest that he wasn't anywhere near. The only proof that he'd been there at all was her journal sitting open on her desk, turned to the last drawing she'd done of him. "Stop thinking," he'd written making her smile, knowing her enough that she'd need another reminder especially with how easy it was to figure things out. And it really was easy, especially when she knew Pan – she'd just about all but understood what he'd done the day before. Maybe even the moment she saw Henry sitting beside Felix on the ship. But looking down at the drawing of Felix's face she sighed and shook everything from her head before turning and getting dressed; allowing herself to be a naïve seventeen year old girl who just wanted to be happy.


	25. when you let him go

Cami went down to the kitchen to eat and found many of the boys, who smiled and rushed to her; happy to see she was really was there after so long without her. Though it was Tommy who claimed the seat beside her, and talked happily about how nice the other nuns were, having taken a great liking to the sweet clumsy Astrid. "Are you alright?" he asked when he saw Rapunzel's face; her brows were drawn together as though not thinking was literally causing her pain.

She turned to him and opened her mouth before pressing her lips together and taking a moment to think. "Fine," she answered shortly, her unease very clearly seen. "I forgot there was work I had to do, I was gone so I didn't, do it," she finished lamely knowing she wasn't making much sense. "I should go," she told him finally before standing and rushing back up the stairs to her room.

Her mouth had literally formed around Felix's name, and it caught her entirely off guard how close she'd been to admitting he was now free. Though now she was left alone in her room with nothing to do but what she'd been told not to. Her stubborn mind was nearly screaming to be used, all the facts trying to come together and she continuously forced them away – using Felix as a buffer. So she paced for a bit, and then drew for a bit, and then tried to read only to find the words blurred, and finally she just laid back on her bed and hummed the tune to different songs she'd heard on the radio.

"Is she upstairs?"

Cami cut off in the middle of a chorus and sat up at hearing Emma's hushed voice, before she inched her way to the door and cracked it so she could hear better.

"Good, find a way to keep her there. I'll come by later and tell her," Emma said in response to one of the nuns.

"Do you think it would be better if I told her?" she heard Neal say, and she wondered why both of them were there – and even more what it was they were talking about and why she had to be told anything.

"No," Emma told him, "you didn't know her. This is gonna break Cami's heart, I should be the one to tell her."

Cami held her breath as she waited for more, waited for a reason why it would hurt her so much and who the her was that Emma was talking about. But their voices grew muffled and she knew they were walking out of the hall, and she moved forward to peek over the stair rail. Pan looked up to see Cami's head and he smiled and waved at her before following after Emma and Neal.

"Henry?" she mouthed confused; because that sweet goofy smile could only be given from Henry. And then she understood, remembering not to think wasn't even a factor when the truth had just unraveled before her eyes. Pan had switched bodies with Henry, which meant Pan was with Regina and Henry was now with Emma – which meant that Emma knew, so there was nothing to worry about. Except that there was, this meant Pan hadn't lost and that Felix was right in thinking he was still winning.

She waited impatiently for when Felix would return, pacing back in forth the attic most of the day as she wondered just what it was Pan planned – and exactly what Felix thought would happen. He stayed true to his word on that he'd return after sunset, and she unlocked the window to let him.

"When were you planning to tell me that Henry was Pan?" she demanded when he climbed inside.

He sighed heavily as he placed the sack he'd been carrying on her desk, flipping the window's latch back unlocked before turning to her. "I told you to stop thinking," he said having hoped against all reality that she would so she'd naively go with him. But she'd always been more clever than he gave her credit for.

"Emma and Neal came by and I saw Pan, only Peter Pan never smiles like a dorky kid. Henry does," she told him through grit teeth. She stood with her arms crossed staring at him, not seeing the anger on his face that should be there; all she saw was something that looked like guilt and acceptance. "What is it you think is gonna happen if Pan manages to win? You really think he cares enough about you to let me live?" she demanded, knowing he had to see the answer was no. And for a second, a brief second of a flash in his eyes, she saw he knew it. But it was gone and his eyes hardened with resolve once more.

"I'm disappointed in you Rapunzel."

She turned to the window to see Henry climbing through, only she knew now he was Pan – and that made her very afraid. "What are you doing here?" she asked, knowing he had to have some plan because staying here would get him caught. Which meant he planned to take her, or maybe even kill her then.

Felix knew what would happen, when the shadow had broken him out it dropped a list Pan had made for him of things to gather. The first and the last things on the list were the same: go to Rapunzel. Everything else was ingredients for something, and then what he'd figured out to be a very strong sedative. He moved around her, keeping her where she was as Pan reached for the syringe in the sack.

"I'm not going to kill you," Pan said with a smile as he tossed the needle's cap aside. "You won't even be yourself after what I have planned. But know this, if you ever go against me again I will give you a fate worse death. Are we clear?" He stared at her, seeing she was afraid from her short breaths, but he'd taught her better than to ever show it on her face.

She felt Felix against her back, knowing there was no way out this time – trying to convince herself Felix wouldn't let him hurt her – but she was still scared. If she was faced with anyone other than Pan she might be shaking, might be pleading for him not to – but she knew better. He'd kill her then. It didn't keep her heart from quivering as he stepped closer, Henry's sweet face contorted into an evil she'd been blinded to.

"I said, are we clear," Henry repeated dangerously, obviously not willing to go without an answer.

"Yes," she breathed, knowing that word sealed her fate forever with his. And though she didn't see him move she knew it was coming, and she flinched at the feel of the needle's sharp prick in her arm before she quickly grew sluggish, seeing Pan's horrible twisted smile before her eyes fell shut.

Felix held her up against him as she wilted into unconsciousness. "How long will she be out?" he asked throwing her over his shoulder so he could climb back out of the window.

It wasn't until they were on the ground that he was answered. "Tomorrow." Pan's voice was hard, a finality carved into it – everything would be easier if she wasn't awake, if she couldn't convince Felix to turn against him or to run away and tell the others.

That was what Felix used to convince himself that this was the best thing for her, Pan would kill her because she'd never be on his side willingly again – Felix justified his own actions as just trying to keep her alive. And that would only happen if she wasn't apart of what Pan would do – so she had to be knocked out, whether or not she'd hate him when she woke up.

…

He laid her down gently away from the well, too excited to do more than sweep the hair out of her face before standing and following his leader. "You never cease to amaze me Peter," he said, not realizing the danger of what was to come – thinking the reason Pan had allowed him a chance to take Rapunzel was only further proof of how she was wrong about him. "Outwitting the evil queen in less than a day, it's impressive."

He smiled cruelly as he moved to the well, holding the curse tight in his hand. "She loves the boy," he said in response. "And that makes her weak." He looked up at Felix, seeing the loyalty etched in his face – that loyalty, and his foolish love for the girl made Felix more weak than even Regina; and it's what Pan counted on - having her there now only ensured that Felix would do anything he asked without question. "This is it, this is where we'll cast it. The ingredients," he demanded holding out his hand.

Felix looked down the well before looking over his shoulder to where he'd laid Rapunzel. "When this is over, will they all be dead?" he asked, knowing that though it would make her hate them all the more it would be easier. He could hold her and let her grieve for the people she thought she'd cared about, but she'd get over it – she always did.

"Worse," Pan said knowing what Felix was thinking, "they'll be slaves to this new land that we're making with no idea who they once were. Death is final Felix," he said watching the other boy smirk in agreement, "their suffering will be eternal." He watched as Felix looked back to Rapunzel, and he rolled his eyes at him before tossing in the first ingredient. "Her memories will remain," was all he told Felix – not even smiling as he thought of what would really happen. He'd thought long and hard of what he'd do, and he refused the smile that wished to spread across his mouth.

Pan tossed in another bottle and looked at Felix, his eyes heavy and unhappy. "What she did is child's play compared to what I have in mind."

"I knew you'd win," he said with a smile, almost wishing Rapunzel was awake and tied down if only to see that he'd been right. "Peter Pan never fails."

Pan smiled ruefully as he dropped the last bottle, watching Felix's brows knit together when nothing happened. "Are we missing something?" he asked, having collected everything that had been on the list.

"Yes," Pan said emotionlessly.

"What is it?"

Without a care in the world he stated simply; "the heart of the thing I love most."

A sinking feeling settled in his stomach, seeing something was wrong with the way Pan stared at him expectantly. "You mean your son's heart, Rumpelstiltskin?" he asked, praying he'd say yes.

"No, no I never loved Rumple," Pan answered.

Felix thought of who then, and he turned to where Rapunzel lay unable to wake for hours more. "You're not taking her heart," he whispered, not even thinking that was a possibility.

Pan smiled amused at how quickly Felix's thoughts had gone to her, not even thinking of himself. "She was right," he admitted with a shrug. "I never really cared for her."

He looked at Pan relieved he wouldn't kill her; though he was entirely put off by what Pan had said, when not even two days before Pan had sworn he did care for her. But that still didn't answer the more pressing question, and with each passing second his stomach coiled more. "Well then whose heart do we need? Who do you love?"

Pan exhaled heavily seeing he'd have to spell it out for him – that Felix couldn't begin to imagine that he'd ever think of doing such a thing. "Love can mean many things, Felix, it doesn't just come from romance or family," he said watching Felix's eyes flick to Rapunzel – seeing the boy was slowly figuring it out. "It can also come from loyalty, friendship. Only one person has always believed in Pan."

He stared at Pan not understanding how he could be thinking of this. "That's me," he said softly, realizing then as he stared at Pan's uncaring eyes that Rapunzel had been right all along.

He smiled at Felix when he saw the boy turn to Rapunzel, horribly lost and afraid. "Don't be afraid," he told him pleasantly, "be flattered."

Felix yelled no, tried to stop him but Pan had shocked him senseless. And so instead of fighting as he should have, he stood unable to comprehend that Peter Pan only cared for himself – had never truly cared for him. But by then it was too late, he was already on his knees choking under the weight of a horrible pain as Pan crushed his heart. And then he was dead.

…

Felix rolled on his side gasping as he coughed, scooting back toward Rapunzel and away from Pan.

"Come on Felix," Pan said teasingly, "it wasn't that bad."

He looked behind Pan to see the curse slowly swarming up through the well. "You killed me," he said knowing how idiotic he sounded but not understanding what had happened. Pan crushed his heart, he should be dead. He had been dead. And yet there he was.

Pan smiled down at him obviously unconcerned with what he had done. "You don't have much time. I bought you enough to get out of here, but the curse will kill you, so you'd better hurry."

Felix looked up at him confused before seeing the swirling green smoke and backing away again. He was being told to leave, he was being completely abandoned in a world he didn't know – and Pan had happily killed him.

"Take her with you," Pan told him, "the curse will kill her as well."

He turned to him startled at hearing that. "But you said it would only take their memories, doesn't that apply to her too?" he asked.

But Pan smiled again. "That was before I gave you her heart," he said happily.

"What?" Felix cried crawling to her and gathering her in his arms.

"She's fine, Felix," Pan said irritably, watching as the curse inched closer. "She won't be if you take any longer," he said watching as Felix stood holding her. "Consider this my gratitude," he said blandly, not caring if they both died if he got what he wanted in the end.

Felix looked at Pan's bland and savage face before holding her tighter and rushing away from the storm that was now coming. The sun had already risen when he stepped out of the woods, and if the others weren't exacting their own plans he might have come across one of them – but the streets were blissfully empty as he hurried to the edge of Storybrook, stopping as he stared at the red line not knowing what would happen to her if he stepped over it.

"Wake up," he urged, lowering her to the ground so he could shake her. "Come on Rapunzel," he said begging her, looking over his shoulder in case anyone had seen him. Her eyes were open when he looked back to her, confused and dazed but completely fine and alive.

Cami sat up, leaning against him when her head began spinning, and stared at the line she was sitting beside. "What happened?" she asked, knowing something must have for Felix to want to leave with Pan here. He helped her to her feet and stood staring at the ground looking almost ashamed. "Felix?" she asked, worry growing in her the longer he stayed quiet.

"You were right," he said quietly, looking at her with such brokenness in his eyes that it scared her. "We have to leave, now," he said knowing she wouldn't be happy about it.

And he wasn't wrong. "You want to leave with Pan still out there and the others trying to stop him?" she asked incredulous. "That's not happening."

"There's a curse," he said trying to stop her from leaving, trying for anything but having to tell her what had happened.

She turned to him, already having made to walk back to the town. "Another one?" she asked, entirely sick of magic all together in that moment. "Then I'm definitely not leaving," she told him. "This is my home, Felix. These are my friends, my family. I'm sorry but I can't leave them."

He stared helplessly at her as she began walking away, realizing the only way to keep her there was to tell her the truth. "I'm gonna die," he called to her, watching her entire body still as he knew it would. She slowly walked back to him unable to believe what he'd said was true. "The curse will kill me," he said when she stopped in front of him, "and you."

"You want me to leave knowing everyone here will die?" she asked, barely able to comprehend that idea let alone that he thought she'd just go.

He shook his head. "It won't kill them, they'll just forget who they are."

She stared at him horribly confused and conflicted because if she stayed she would die and Felix would die because he wouldn't leave her. "Why us?"

He didn't want to answer that, he didn't want to have to tell her but he needed to make her see that leaving was their only option. "He needed the heart of the thing he loves most," he told her watching the shock explode behind her eyes because she already knew who that was.

And she did, but it made no sense. "Why aren't you dead then?" she asked, not understanding anything anymore.

"I was," he answered. He stood and waited for her to get it, watching her eyes dance over his face as she thought – and then her face filled with horror and she brought her hands to her chest realizing what Pan had done. "Rapunzel I am so sorry," he said trying to reach for her but she recoiled from his touch. "We have to go," he urged her gently, knowing if anyone spotted them her decision would be made for her.

She looked at him so torn with what to do. "I can't," she whispered.

"Tell me you are not actually considering this," he said ready to just throw her over his shoulder again and force her to leave.

She looked at him as though he were insane. "I will lose all of my memories if I cross that line," she said nearly yelling, seeing he now understood why she couldn't. "I won't know you anymore. And they," she said breaking off as she turned to the town.

Felix moved to stand beside her, watching her eyes glance over the space in front of her and knowing she was thinking over every possibility. "They'll find a way," she said sounding unconvinced.

He sighed shaking his head. "There isn't time, and you don't know that they will."

"They'll find a way," she said again as though he hadn't spoken, her voice firmer as she steeled herself with belief. He watched her no longer knowing what she was thinking, guessing she was convincing herself to go back because out of chance she might not die. "They always find a way," she said turning to him with hope in her eyes. "That's just who they are."

He could see the decision she'd made settling on her shoulders like a heavy weight, and it honestly scared him.

"Tell me you love me," she said softly, stepping to his chest and grabbing the front of his shirt in her small fists. "I want to hear you say it, at least once."

He looked down at her lost for what was going through her head, only that it sounded very much like a goodbye. "I love you," he breathed, his voice broken on the wind as he waited for what she'd do. And she surprised him, pulling him closer and kissing him as though she never would again before pushing him back.

"You won't like me," she told him, tears streaming down her face as she let him go. "But give me a chance."

He stared at her uncertain before he finally understood, though it was too late because she stepped over the line. "Rapunzel," he yelled in shock as he rushed to her, taking her face in his hands and looking her over; relieved to find her okay. "Are you alright?" he asked when he saw her confused face. "Rapunzel?"

Cami stared up at the boy with the crude scar running down his face. "Who's Rapunzel?" she asked him. "And who the hell are you?"

* * *

**_Tada! You guys have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this - and now I'm very excited to continue because Felix not only has to deal with the fact that Cami doesn't know who he is anymore, but also they both have to figure out how to live in the real world. I hope you all enjoyed, and that you continue reading. Thank you all so much._**


	26. you only know you've been high

Cami stood looking up at the tall thin boy with the crude scar running along his face, the boy looking down at her so heart broken and defeated her anger and fear momentarily left her. "Seriously, who are you?" she asked, hoping he could answer because there was just something so familiar about him. She knew him, she could feel it in the back of her mind behind a wall of smoke that she knew who he was and why she was now standing in the middle of nowhere on a road with him.

"Felix," he answered softly no longer knowing what to do. He couldn't very well tell her what all had happened, she'd never believe him – more than that, she'd leave him there.

That didn't sound at all familiar to her and she sighed having hoped maybe she'd recognize his name but now there was nothing, just the feeling that she knew him. "So where are you going?" she asked, uncomfortable with the way he stared at her – as though at any moment she might smile and throw herself at him.

"That way," he said quickly, pointing away from the town, which thankfully they couldn't see over the line. "Where are you going?" he asked, almost terrified that she'd tell him to get lost. If there was one thing he couldn't do it was leave her, not when she could go anywhere in this land.

She jerked her thumb in this same direction as he'd pointed, having wondered what was the other way but that thought had disappeared entirely from her mind. Now she realized that they'd have to walk together. "I guess we should start walking," she said, "who knows how far it is until the next town."

He looked at her relieved that she wasn't leaving him, though that didn't mean she wouldn't want to when they finally did reach a town – to which he had no idea what he would do. He didn't think she'd take too kindly to him knocking her out and forcing her to stay with him.

She looked at him closely, her brows knitted unhappily. "You're not wearing that," she said before grabbing his cloak and throwing it aside, seeing for the first time the feather in his hair. "Seriously?" she asked pointing it and rolling her eyes when he only looked back at her unsure. "I'm cutting that out of your hair the first chance I get," she told him. "You look ridiculous."

"You used to like my fe-" he stopped talking too late, his mouth still open and his eyes wide and unsure.

She looked up at him curiously. "I used to like it," she finished. "So I do know you," she said crossing her arms and staring up at him.

He sighed at her persistence, seeing as Cami she was much less willing to accept things – she was smarter. It would make this difficult, it would mean he couldn't lie. "Yes," he told her watching her nod.

"Why can't I remember you?" she asked, not taking his word for it when she didn't know anything about him.

"Think of it as," he fought for what to say, not remembering the word – he'd heard it from a few of the newer boys, a strange word he wanted to tell her because he knew it would satisfy her. But he couldn't remember and so he closed his mouth sighing as he ran a hand through his messy hair. "Your memories are gone," he said at last, waiting for her to mock him or for her to walk away because it was too unbelievable.

What he didn't know was how strong the feeling of knowing him was, to the point that she felt at ease with what was a complete stranger to her – so much so, she almost believed him. "So I have amnesia?" she asked to clarify.

"Yes," he said, that having been the word he'd wanted to say. "That's it exactly."

She nodded in agreement, things missing from her brain that shouldn't have been – like why she was there and why she couldn't remember leaving, or where exactly she had left from. "How'd that happen?"

And there was he was stuck again, because he couldn't very well tell her she'd lost her memories stepping over a town line because of a magical curse. "You wouldn't believe me," he told her softly, knowing she wouldn't because if she had no memories of magic then she wouldn't know that it existed – or even more, _believe_ that it existed.

"Alright," she said accepting it, motioning him to follow as she began walking down the long road. She wanted to ask more but there was a part of her that didn't want to know, the part of her that the curse still had a hold of – by magic she wouldn't ask, because if she did then she'd put together the pieces, and the point of the curse had been to keep everyone from doing just that.

Which left them walking side by side, miles from the closest town, with nothing but each other. "So," she started, not liking how quiet he was, "what are you running away from?"

He looked over at her, having been thinking about how he'd go about getting her memories back, and was caught completely off guard. "I was, my um," he stuttered as he tried to think of what to say, almost saying Pan's name before he caught himself. "My dad didn't want me around anymore," he said, lying about who Pan was to him – though in all honesty that is almost how he'd seen him. He looked over at her to see her sad compassionate eyes before she turned away and stared forward. "What about you?" he asked, trying to stop staring at her but now that she was there, and that he was completely alone, he only wanted to hold her.

She shrugged nonchalantly, though in truth she couldn't imagine having a father and then being sent away. "It's nothing," she told him.

He smiled and shook his head, seeing she was keeping herself quiet because she still didn't fully trust her. "Let me guess," he started, "you're tired of your girl's home, which has no other girls, so you left looking for something better," he said completely shocking her. "I told you, we know each other."

She turned away from him giving a short laugh of disbelief. "I'd say so," she mumbled to herself, finding that she might like him. They continued walking on in silence, the minutes turning into an hour – yet there was a comfort, for Felix because she was still there, and for her because even though her mind didn't know him her body did; after two centuries her skin would never forget his even if the memory of his touch had been locked away. Which was why when the only car they'd seen passed them and then pulled over, she never once thought of going anywhere without him.

…

The boy watched the two figures walking on the side of the road as they drove closer, turning around in his seat to see their face when they passed by them. "We should give them a ride," he said to his mother.

"We're not picking up hitchhikers," she told him.

He looked at her pleadingly. "But they're only a little older than I am, what if they need help?"

She sighed at the look on his face, seeing he was using his best "puppy dog look", and then out of the rearview mirror at the two kids before stopping. "If they try to take our money I'm blaming you kid," she told her son, watching him smile as she put the yellow bug in reverse to meet them. "You two need a ride?" she asked through her son's window, seeing the girl was no more than seventeen and far too pretty to be walking alone on a road – the boy was another story, his face scarred and his eyes looking between mother and son distrustfully.

"We'd love one," Cami said the same time Felix said no. She turned to him irritated before holding up a finger at the woman to indicate she needed a minute, and pulling Felix away. "If you plan on getting anywhere before the sun sets then we need a ride," she told him firmly, her face offering no refusal.

He knew she was right, but not with them. He looked back to Emma Swan and Henry, not liking either one of them – though they didn't seem to recognize him and Rapunzel, which meant Pan had lost. He didn't know how he felt about that, he didn't really know how he felt about anything; but Cami was staring up at him expectantly and so he nodded, watching relief shine in her eyes she before turned back to the woman in the car.

"We would love one, thank you," she said genuinely, climbing in the back after the boy got out and pulled the seat up; looking back out of the car to make sure Felix was actually climbing in too. "What?" she asked softly when he sat beside her, a smile curled on his face.

"You said we," he answered coyly.

She looked at him a moment before she understood and then she turned away from him, realizing she'd bound them together now. "Yeah," she said almost blushing, "whatever."

He smiled almost happy at that, thinking maybe he'd really like her as Cami – her heart was still there, he just had to wait for her to act with it. He sat shoulder to shoulder with her, wishing to put an arm around her or to kiss her cheek; wondering what she'd do if he did. And he smiled at the thought of what her face would look like and how shocked she'd be. "Yeah," he said repeating her, making her bite back her own smile, "whatever."

* * *

**_So this chapter was way shorter than I've been doing, but I'm going to be getting a lot busier soon so I can do shorter faster than longer. But that also means I probably won't update as often as well, but I'll try to do at least once a week. I can't wait to get into their lives in the real world, especially now that they're with Emma and Henry. Thanks again guys, and Happy New Year!_**


	27. when you're feeling low

Cami and Felix sat across from Emma and Henry in a diner they came across thirty minutes after they were picked up, and Emma watched the two teens scarf down their food as though they hadn't eaten in a while. No matter how suspicious and untrusting she was of the two, she couldn't help but show sympathy when she herself had been in their shoes when she'd been their age.

"So, what were you two doing on the side of a road?" she asked sipping her coffee as she looked at them both.

Cami looked over at Felix to see him staring back at her expectantly; he wouldn't be talking first, which left it up to her. "I left my girl's home," she said, hoping there'd be no more questions.

But Emma was curious, and her son was sitting beside her staring at the two strangers. "Problems with the other girls?" she asked, wondering what kind of person Cami was and if she had a problem with others.

"There weren't any others," she said quietly as she scooted the rest of the food on her plate around.

Emma looked at the girl, her eyes trained on her plate. She watched the boy Felix touch her hand, saw the relief settle on her shoulders as though she needed him to breath; and then she pulled her hand away. They were strange, Emma thought – as though they knew each other, except she didn't act as though she did. And Emma had a small feeling she might know Cami, but she figured it to be because she reminded her so much of herself at her age.

"My dad told me to leave," Felix said to get the attention off of Cami, he knew what was going through her mind – she was second guessing leaving, only she couldn't remember why she had.

And it worked, Emma turned to him surprised – and sad. "Is that how you two met?" she asked looking between the two, glad Henry was keeping quiet as she questioned them. He probably didn't know what to think of two kids; one without parents, and one cast aside – but Emma did.

"Yeah," Cami said, unable to remember why she'd left and where she'd left from. "He found me on the road. But we met before, I think," she said trailing off lamely at yet another thing she couldn't remember.

Emma nodded as though she understood, and in a way she did – she couldn't remember why she'd been on that road either. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, Henry do you need to?"

"No," he said turning his eyes from the two to look at his mother. "I mean yes, I do," he said when he saw her look and he climbed out of the booth and followed her.

"So what do you think?" Cami asked Felix when they left.

He turned to her curiously. "About what?" he asked, because there were simply too many things he was thinking in that moment – and a lot of them were about Pan.

She shrugged taking a drink of her water. "Where do you wanna go now?" she asked. "We need to find a place to stay until we both get jobs and can actually afford an apartment. I had looked around a bit and I think our best bet is to head south, things are cheaper there. Why are you staring at me like that?" she asked when she looked at him to see him almost smiling at her.

"You said we again," he answered making her turn away flustered, happy to know she didn't plan on leaving him just yet.

She didn't like the burn in her cheeks, the way her stomach fluttered – she didn't even know him. "Are you trying to tell me something?" she asked.

He smiled at her discomfort, glad to see he could still affect her. "No, no," he said raising his hands in surrender, "I think we'd have a better chance if we stayed together." He looked at her to see the disbelief in her eyes, and he smiled slyly before taking what was left of her burger and eating it.

…

Instead of actually going to the bathroom Emma and Henry stood in the back. "Are they gonna stay with us?" Henry asked, not wanting them to leave since they had no place to go.

"I don't know," Emma told him, having had the same thought as well. "I mean we don't have a lot of space for them, and it'd be more expensive to take care of them."

"But mom," Henry said, "they have nowhere else to go. Can't they just stay for a few days. Maybe help them find a job and their own place?"

Emma looked down at her son's sweet trusting face, he'd always had more good in him than she did; but then again she'd given him the childhood she never had.

…

"So," Emma said as she and Henry slid back into the booth, silencing whatever Felix had been about to say to Cami, "do you two have a plan for where you're gonna go?"

Cami and Felix looked at one another realizing they'd all been talking about the same thing; but again, Felix's face told her he wouldn't be answering. And it made her wonder if perhaps she knew Emma and Henry as well. "We were gonna stay in a shelter until we could find jobs to afford an apartment," Cami answered for them both, watching Emma nod as she thought.

Emma sighed before leaning on the table and looking between the two teens. "I'll make you deal, find a job within two weeks and you can stay with me until you have a better plan," she offered watching the girl's eyes widen in surprise. "Now, my place isn't very big so one of you would be on the couch and the other on the floor until we can get another mattress." She waited to let the offer sink in, seeing Cami was struggling to process such generosity and kindness.

"We'd be putting you out horribly," Cami said softly, holding back the hope that this was actually happening.

"That you would," Emma agreed, though her offer still stood.

Felix waited for Cami to agree, they wouldn't get a better chance anywhere else; but he quickly realized she didn't like charity, or being in debt – it would make sense if Cami was the opposite to Rapunzel, she'd been in debt to Pan for taking her in. "It'd mean a lot to us," he said finally, liking Emma more now that she didn't know who he was. Though he didn't really like Henry, he was the reason this all happened – and there were still moments he almost called him Pan.

Cami looked at him briefly before turning to Emma, as though she needed the affirmation from him. "It really would," she said quietly, having just then realized that she was completely on her own without an actual plan.

"Then that settles it," Emma said standing and pulling her coat on. "Come on, we still got a long drive."

After an hour Henry stopped talking to Felix and Cami, Felix stared at him very untrustingly; though he liked Cami, she was nice. But after an hour of mindless talking, quickly realizing there was a big gap in her memory, he turned around in his seat and fell asleep. After that it was quiet, Emma drove only sneaking glances of the two – seeing soon after Henry passed out that Cami followed suit. She watched the way Felix stared down at her, her head on his shoulder and her hair falling in her face. "When did you really meet her?" she asked catching his attention.

He stared at Emma's curious eyes, not seeing suspicion or anger that would come with her actually knowing who he was. "A very long time ago," he told her honestly, what did he have to lie about – Pan was dead, who did he have to be loyal to besides Rapunzel. "She doesn't remember," he said when her brows rose in disbelief.

"And why is that?" she asked, looking between him and the road wondering why the girl couldn't remember certain things.

But Felix only shook his head and looked out the window. "I'll tell you that when you can tell me why you were on that road," he said knowing it'd shut her up – she had no idea why, because her memories were gone too. Only it was different than Cami's, she kept thinking about it and wondering why, knowing there was something missing. Emma and Henry filled in the gaps and carried on unworried; he figured it to be whatever the Evil Queen had done after Pan had been stopped, but he'd never know and he honestly didn't think he wanted to.

…

"Alright so Cami will take the couch and Felix you'll have to sleep on the floor," Emma said when they walked in her apartment. "You'll be bunking with Henry when I get a mattress."

Felix nodded having figured he'd take the floor, not minding much when he'd spent years sleeping on the ground.

"Hey mom," Henry called walking back into the living room, "I don't have a bed either."

"Guess we'll have to get you one too. And some clothes."

Cami and Felix turned to each other with their brows furrowed, because neither one acted as though anything at all was strange. Felix knew it was magic keeping them from thinking too long on what was out of place, however Cami had no idea – though he shook his head at her and she kept her mouth closed.

Emma looked at Cami and Felix and saw the bags under both their eyes, wondering how long it'd been since they'd had a decent meal and a good night's rest. "You guys just wanna go to bed and we'll shop tomorrow?" She smiled when all three kids nodded almost in unison. "Alright, I'll get you both some pillows and covers, Henry you'll be with me tonight."

Felix laid on an air mattress Emma found in a closet, quiet and alone in Henry's room. He wasn't used to silence, without the sound of the other boys breathing and snoring, and the wind rustling the trees. It was late in the night when he went out of the room and toward the couch, seeing in the dim moonlight Cami's sleeping face. He laid down beside her and brushed the hair out of her face, stroking her warm cheek as he'd done countless times before. "Rapunzel?" he whispered, almost praying she'd open her eyes and smile at him; and he could only sigh when she continued to sleep. "I know you're in there, I know a part of you remembers. Don't worry so much, I won't leave." He imagined in his mind Rapunzel locked away in the tower of her mind, hearing his voice soft on the wind and her finally being able to relax and let go until Cami remembered. That wasn't how it was, but it helped him put together the pieces of what was happening with her. Unable to help himself he pressed a soft kiss on her mouth, taking what felt like his first breath since they'd left Storybrook, looking to see she hadn't woken; before going back and crawling onto the bed to sleep.

* * *

**_So I'm thinking the pace might actually slow down a bit, actually a lot. But this is when they start feeling each other out, as well as getting to know Cami - and getting to know Felix. Because he's gonna slowly find his way without Pan, and without Rapunzel because she's technically not there. And it's also going to show them grow more, and her fall back in love with him and all of that wonderfulness. _**


	28. you only hate the road

**_Anna: I know, there's a part of me that wants her to remember already and them to just be happy: but there's another part that knows Felix is now becoming a different person and falling in love with the Cami side of her - and I'm not sure if that would happen if she remembered. And don't forget, Mary Margaret and David kissed (and a lot more) and they both didn't remember. So I don't think "true love's kiss" works when they're both not in love - or at least the curse keeps it from working._**

* * *

They went to breakfast after they woke, Emma having found all of the food in her apartment having gone bad months before. She'd also been woken to the tenant's angry knocking demanding to know where'd she'd been and if she planned to pay her rent – which turned out to be more than one month's rent. But all of that she confusedly brushed off as she turned back to the three kids who were now hungry again.

"Alright here's the plan," Emma said as they ate their fast food breakfast while she drove, "you both get twenty bucks to spend, when you need more clothes we'll figure it out from there. But you gotta get a toothbrush too, and some soap; so try to make the twenty last," she told the two as she pulled into a spot.

Henry went with Emma leaving Cami and Felix to wander around the store – both of whom had never actually been in one. The first thing Cami grabbed was two toothbrushes, getting the cheapest she could find, the next was a large bar of soap. "It'll be cheaper if we share it," she said at his look when she only grabbed one.

"What do we do about the clothes?" he asked, finding on the tags that everything was more than he'd thought – nothing had been this expensive before he went to Neverland, and suddenly twenty dollars didn't seem like a lot.

Cami stared at the price tags as she thought. "I saw a thrift store before we got here, we'd be able to get more there. We should at least get the essentials here though," she said as she moved to the women's intimates. "Are you gonna follow me everywhere?" she asked looking up at him, a small smile quirked on her mouth.

He shrugged though he didn't tell her the truth, which was that he had no idea what to do. "It's worked so far," he said watching her laugh briefly before she looked at the underwear, quickly grabbing a pack and putting it in the basket on her arm.

She turned back to him wonderingly, thinking maybe he'd never been to a store before – what with the way he'd stared at a lot of things as though he'd never seen them. Try as she might she did not know what to think about him, and it only made her want to know him more. "Come on," she said before leading him to the guy section, pointing out the different kinds of underwear before having to explain what that meant and what she thought would be more comfortable. He looked so lost as he stared at everything, turning to her to ask her what she thought. She made a guess as to what size his waist was, he was pretty thin, and finally grabbed a pack and put it in the basket.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, staring over her head to see the packs of shirts.

"You can get six for eight bucks," she said impressed. "Oh look these are on sale," she said grabbing the gray and black ones and putting them in the basket as well.

"Why do I need two?" He'd have shirts but no pants, and she'd already gotten them both socks.

She looked up at him smiling. "You really think you're gonna wear the v-necks?" she asked teasingly, shaking her head as she walked back to the girl's section.

With nothing else to do he followed after her, turning to scan for Emma and Henry, and stopping behind Cami to see her brows furrowed in thought. "Why are you thinking of not getting them?" he asked surprising her.

She realized he knew her well enough to know what she was thinking by the look on her face, and yet she couldn't remember him no matter how hard she tried. "I don't know," she said turning back to the pack of what looked like thick leggings, "with the other stuff we have about ten dollars left between us, getting this leaves us with five," she told him shrugging, on the fence about whether she should get them or not.

He nodded, seeing she'd calculated it all in her head when she'd gotten the stuff – and as he was realizing, Cami thought ahead, made plans for what happened next; she didn't need him to guide her as she had when she'd been Rapunzel, now he was the one who needed her. "You do need pants," he told her, "and I for one, am not wearing those." He smiled at her bubble of laughter, having not known if he'd hear it again. "Get them, I'll look for pants at that thrift store you mentioned."

She brushed her hair behind her ears and looked up at him, realizing she was smiling and she quickly walked past him toward where Emma and Henry would be.

"Did you get everything?" Emma asked when she looked in the basket, seeing she'd grabbed the cheaper packs of things – though he didn't have any pants.

Cami still tried to shake off whatever it was Felix had done to her, making her act like a flustered school girl. "Yeah, I thought we could spend the rest at that thrift store we passed," she said, wondering how much cheaper clothes would be there and if five dollars would be enough.

Emma looked at Cami and nodded. "That's a really good idea," she mused as she looked in the cart to see some of the clothes she'd gotten Henry. She liked Cami, the kid was smart. "We'll get this stuff and then go over there, and I'll give you ten more bucks between you," she said with a smile.

Cami looked after her surprised she was giving them more money, glancing up at Felix when he moved beside her, and followed after Emma so their things could be paid for. She'd been right, they had a little over five dollars left between them; though that was now fifteen since Emma added ten.

"Okay," Emma said pulling up beside the door, "you three go pick out some clothes and I'll run and get some actual food," she told them, watching as the two teens and her son got out of the car and headed for the small shop.

They quickly found that there was a lot of junk, things they wouldn't even touch. But they found what they needed. Henry found more clothes, and for half the price as the other store. Felix, after trying on several different pairs of jeans, found several in his size and another pair of shoes. Cami though, she was nearly in clothes heaven. She found more shirts, some skirts, a pair of flats to go with it, and she was now looking at the dresses.

"You're not getting that," Felix said after he found her, Henry beside him pushing their cart.

She held the flowered dress to herself and looked up at him. "But it's fifty cents," she told him almost sadly; there were several others she wanted to try on and they were all less than a dollar.

He shook his head smiling. "That is the ugliest dress I've ever seen," he told her making Henry laugh.

Her brows drew together as she looked down at it, seeing the flowers and the buttons on the chest; it wasn't the most attractive dress, but it would do its job. "Maybe if I just tried it on."

"Give me that," Felix said taking it out of her hands.

"You'd look like a grandma," Henry told her making Felix laugh as he put the dress back.

He looked over all of the others, seeing some that were too short and then others that were too long – he didn't like the clothes people wore here, he liked her old dress, the clothes they made her on Neverland. He finally grabbed a few that looked at least halfway decent and handed them to her, seeing her eyes as she stared hard at his face. "Maybe you want to find a jacket too," he offered, having found one for four dollars.

She watched him startled as he walked away, wondering why it was every time his mouth curled in that infuriating smirk her heart always leapt. She looked at the jackets, moving down them frustrated as she continuously tried to push Felix from her mind. She'd met him the day before, she hardly knew him at all – and yet she did, because she trusted him, she was so comfortable around him as though they'd known each other for years and years.

In the end she grabbed a cheap fading green jacket and added it with the rest of the clothes, seeing Emma walking in to find them. She looked through all of the clothes, her brows raising in surprise as she looked at how cheap it all was.

"Thirty bucks, not bad at all," Emma said as she drove them back to her apartment to unpack the groceries. "We're washing that all first though," she told them as she grabbed an armful of bags, watching the three kids grabbing some too, before they all walked up to her place. She put all the groceries away before making them lunch, planning to go shopping for mattresses after. At least until she saw Cami; poor girl looked exhausted, the boy didn't really look any better. She didn't know last night had been the first night in two days that they'd actually slept – or at least in Cami's case, the first time in two days she'd slept besides the sedative. "You two wanna stay here, you could watch some tv." She looked between them, seeing Cami nod and Felix's confused face. "Alright then, we'll be back a little later. Could you clean up the kitchen while we're gone?" she asked as she and Henry headed for the door.

"Yeah sure," Cami agreed, returning Henry's wave as they left, before turning to Felix. "What?" she asked when she saw his wondering face. "You don't know what a tv is? What century did you come from?" she asked in disbelief, almost not believing that to be possible. But his face, which didn't change, proved that he had come from a very different time. She moved past him and grabbed the remote, turning the tv on and handing it to him. "These change the different channels, just play with it until you find something you like," she told him, smiling briefly before going to the kitchen to clean.

She'd had a television at the church, Regina had gotten it for her – though she didn't remember the church, or Regina. By the time she finished in the kitchen she'd heard bits of the news, and several different shows – some soap operas, some kids, some not even in english. But he settled on an old sitcom with the fake laughter and the overly funny characters.

"So they're real people pretending to be someone else?" he asked when she sat beside him, trying to figure out what the people were doing.

"Pretty much, yeah," she answered sitting back on the couch, a smile twitching on her mouth from something on the show.

He felt her against his shoulder, her legs against his as she laid back; if he tried hard enough he could imagine she knew him – and there was a part of him who wondered if perhaps she did, there were moments beneath her confusion that he could see she was wondering about him.

…

Emma unlocked the door and stepped aside so the two guys from the place below could carry in the first mattress. The sight she was met with was Felix staring hard at the tv in confusion, and Cami sleeping with her back against him and her legs curled beneath her.

"Need any help?" he asked when he looked over at Emma.

"Yeah," she said, slowly warming up to the boy the longer she was around him. She watched as he stood, gently moving away from Cami and wrapping a blanket around her. "The other's downstairs you can help me carry it," she said, smiling gently as she walked down the stairs. "How long have you been in love with her?" she asked him as they carried the bed.

He looked at her surprised. "A while," he answered vaguely, as his answers always were.

Emma took his word for it, because she had no other explanations for him. And they carried the bed through the door and into the room he'd be sharing with Henry. "I got some sheets at the store, do you want me to make your bed too?" she asked, expecting him to say no because both him and Cami didn't seem to like needing other people – it's one of the things she liked about them both. But he didn't say anything, and his face was once more confused when she turned him. "That's fine, I'm making Henry's," she told him, wondering where it was he'd lived, because he certainly didn't act like he'd lived here – or even this time, as Cami had already wondered.

He nodded as he stood behind her lamely. "Thanks," he said uncomfortably, not accustomed to using that word. There were many things he wasn't used to, things Pan had no use for such as courtesy – and an island with magic was much different than a technologically advanced land with no magic at all.

She gave him a small smile and patted his shoulder. "No problem," she told him moving around him to thank the boys from apartment beneath her.

Felix sat once more beside Cami, seeing she was now awake. Without thinking he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to his chest, kissing her cheek as he sat thinking. He didn't feel her eyes on him, the shock and then wonder; because it just felt so right to be in his arms, she remembered this feeling. She remembered a lot of things, just not the details – and nowhere in her mind were memories of him, just the feel of him. So for that moment in time, when she could just barely remember this sense of comfortable safety, she let him hold her.

* * *

**_I have been having a hard time finding an actress to use for me to imagine Cami, all of the ones I like are brunette. So a young Dianna Agron is as good as I think I'll be able to get, besides of course she's actually very beautiful and has a very sweet voice; and I like her acting._**

**_Also, I was wondering if anyone things these chapters are dragging - because they are pretty slow, but there's a lot of character development and relationship growth to cover, as well as details. So I was wondering if you guys are enjoying the details, or if you want me to gloss over them more?_**


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